At first, I was a little upset because this would mean I’d have to dedicate valuable time to training a newbie in the art of Office Bat Mocking… I just don’t have the energy for it.
Then, I became angry because it would totally cut into my blog reading and we all know this is what keeps me, in a harmonious balance nobody alive would benefit by shifting, both sane and insane. Can you imagine me sane? Neither can I.
After listing the pros and cons, I’ve decided to be happy for the chance of corrupting another young mind.
Here is a small list of duties I came up with:
Get here on time to sign me in (where he will wait half an hour for me to arrive but that’s okay because he can make coffee while waiting).
Dust my desk (you’re probably thinking this is an easy task but he would have to move all my
Once I arrive, get my coffee. (I’d do it myself but I’d already be running late)
Heat up my lunch.
Take Mocha to the groomers.
Take my clothes to the dry-cleaners.
Pick it up when it’s ready.
Uh, this is all I have for now. I would like to add that I’m hoping the following people apply for this coveted position:
Any other hot actors/musicians/sports dudes
If you know any of them and think they would be willing to work for minimum wage and doing menial tasks, let them know to fax their résumés with a picture of themselves in provocative poses to my attention.
Maybe somebody over at Humor-Blogs would like to apply to be my whipping boy?
I’m just kidding. They wouldn’t have to get my coffee. Everybody knows I’m very particular about how I drink my coffee.