Thursdays are usually the days OZ does surgeries so he never shows up at the office. You would think it'd be the best day of the week to work, right?
Usually the bats think it's socializing time. I call it Social Thursday.
The day wasn't bad so far, I'd had my coffee. I was filling pretty mellow, especially cuz it was treat day and I decided to have a BROWNIE for breakfast, YEAH I SAID IT!
I heard the door open and CL talking to a man. The man started getting louder and louder. I
WELCOME TO FUCK OFF FRIDAY ON A... WELL, FRIDAY!
Turns out he was an attorney who was pissed off because OZ hadn't called him back. He assumed OF COURSE! that I was the one holding OZ hostage and not letting him make phone calls.
Believable right? I mean, if I can force the receptionist to remain chained to her desk without any peeing breaks...
If you guys were to see me in person, besides being shocked by my magnificent beauty, you would never in a million years think I'm a threat. I'm short, I don't have horns coming outta my head, no serpent tongue. I do have claws though. They look kind of dorky right now because the middle one broke and now I have the most important finger of the set looking naked.
Once CL told him who I was, this douche bag decided to assault my ears with every fucking insult his thesaurus gave him for the word incompetent.
Now, a calmer woman would have called security, the police or Superman.
But no, not me. In the stupidest decision I've made this week, I got in his face and reciprocated in kind.
Was that the right thing to do? Probably not but you know what? Fuck it!
I told him to take his shitty briefcase stuff it up his ass and waddle out of the office! He said something about him advising his client to sue OZ and me personally. I asked him if he wanted my address.
By this time Glynda came running to the front desk and the security guy came thru the front door. The rest will be written in the annals of the Asylum. I was shaking but IT FELT GOOD!
OZ came over from the hospital as soon as he could and called his attorney. Now a whole bunch of other people will become involved.
Long after I have moved on, they will remember my name, for Thursday was the day I became a Legend!
It was about fuckin' time!
Oh yeah, to that asshole attorney, HE CAN FUCK OFF!!
Here's the thing. I would like to ask 4 easy things from you.
First, I know you love me so you're probably feeling a little bit of pity for me.
Pity is for assholes. I. Am. Not. An. Asshole.
Second, if you leave me a comment, please start it "Legendary Bee". Don't worry, that title will expire after this post. Unless you want to continue, please don't let me stop you.
Third, I need you to help me decide between a mechanical pencil and the old fashioned kind of pencil. I like the mechanical one because I can just click a button for more led instead of getting up to sharpen it.
I like the old fashioned one because I can BITE down on it in stressful situations and it usually reminds me that a bullet might hurt more.
Fourth, please click on Humor-Blogs for me because I'm sliding down the ranks and you don't want to see me angry. ;op
I'm milking my traumatic day by taking the day off and decluttering my house. If I don't visit you, that's why.