Sunday, June 1, 2008

There is NOTHING natural about THIS male enhancement!

I was up early one morning (5:57!!! IN THE MORNING!!), having been rudely awakened by a shout of "I want to go potty but can't open the door!" (no, it wasn't Andy.) and then said offender promptly went back to sleep in her princess castle tent (NO, STILL NOT ANDY! Although, I can see why you'd be confused.) after I bruised my rusty old shoulder by slamming it against the freakin' bathroom door!

Anyway, Andy left for work and I stayed up to guard against such things as dogs that like to lick little cheeks and bark at nutin' so I was able to catch this very bizarre- no CREEPY commercial.

BEHOLD! The Creepiest Male Enhancement commercial ever to disgrace your television!

I don't know who cast this commercial but they need to be replaced and/or put before a firing squad.

I used to hang out with this chick named uh Leslutty, if you're a male and live in Illinois (or Indiana, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Iowa, Nevada, California...) you've probably *met* her ::wink wink::, whose only requirement to get to know you better was the offer of a free drink. Well, I think I can say that even she would pass on this sleazeball! Maybe.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong. I mean, look at the line of women waiting to sit on Sleazeball Santa's lap! I think there's even a SENIOR CITIZEN in that line!!
**Not that I'm judging since even they need some lovin'.**

Look how happy the lucky lady who gets to be first to sit on his male enhanced lap is! Now thousands of men will rush out and buy this male enhancement doozeit so they can have a line of women dying to... what?? [I just threw up a little bit.]

But wait! There's more!
If you order now, we'll send you the Santa beard for free!

I never knew being home would prove to be so entertaining! Maybe I'll quit my job and just report on absurd commercials. Good idea?

You know what's a good idea? Clicking on Humor-Blogs for me. Thank you!

I'm off to see Indiana Jones today. Even though I've heard bad things (-Brother Dan but he likes The Klumps and that explains him) but I'm going to see it with an open mind and a hungry stomach! For nachos!
Early in the morning so there are no people with their little terrors offspring.


  1. Just because you got kicked out of line for trying to cut in front, is no reason to be snide.:)

  2. Okay, I'm confused... In what way does a Santa outfit constitute a natural enhancement?

    There's a lot to be said for subtlety and understatement. Or should that be not a lot?

  3. If this stuff was natural then it would grow on trees, though the trees would look pretty strange ;-)

  4. Even better, why not get a job in advertising?

  5. I'm pretty sure you keep mentioning the movies/nachos thing to taunt and aggravate me because you know, even thinking about it, kinda makes me wanna blow something up.

    And yes - that was the creepiest effin commercial I've seen - and that's only from your screen shots. Ewwww.

  6. Are you sure number 5 is a woman?

  7. They used the same cast in their previous version before this one that started before question is who runs advertising campaigns with Santa in June????

    If you enjoy things on Comedy Central you will watch that 100 tmes a day.

  8. That guy is creepy looking, but that is just one of the many side effects.

    What you have to ask yourself before submitting to male enhancement is:

    "Do I really want to be more male?"

  9. Number 5 appears curiously "not female," which may make Santa's bag of gifts deflate, much to the chagrin of Number 6. And seriously? Number 7 wants to go after Number 6?

    It seems they really should be running the commercial where Enzyte Bob is swimming with his neighbors, what with this being almost June and all.

  10. I never said I liked the Klumps.

  11. Good God, men and their junk. It's all they ever think about. And I agree - from #4 on, the pickins are getting dodgey for Enhanced Santa.

  12. TFWY:
    Maybe I should give them a box of donuts for doing me favor.

    I think they didn't want to pay for another commercial.

    Thanks for the image of the weird looking trees!

    Advertising? I like that idea!

    Maebee... ;op

    Ha! Well if it's not, can you blame him for looking to get some enhanced lovin;? :o)

    I haven't seen the previous one, now I'm going to be searching for it! :op

    I hadn;t thought about that! Maybe it is a side effect!

    I really fon't want to see Bob in a swimsuit. Would her wear speedos???

    "A Knight's Tale" then??

    I'm guessing they would be the only ones to take a chance on the creepy guy.

  13. Talk about a stocking stuffer!

  14. I can't believe I just read:

    "I used to hang out with this chick named uh Leslutty"

    My image of you is forever tainted now! :p

  15. Subtract the male enhancement part and you have the exact same scenario of how my mom and dad first got together.

    My dad was playing the role of Santa and saw my hottie mom walking past while he was on break and he slyly said, "Hey little girl why don't you come on over here and sit on my lap and we'll talk about whatever comes UP!"

    My dad may have been the inspiration and prototype for Bad Santa.

  16. I had to quit that stuff, it kept me up all night.

    Haha...I kill myself.

    Get it??

  17. Here's the thing, the male enhancement guy has to be not so good looking because we all know that the really good looking men don't need male enhancement. I mean, could you imagine men like Brad Pitt and Jonny Depp sitting in that chair dressed as Santa?
    The Santa thing was the creepiest to me since it's not usually older women that stand in line to sit on Santas lap. Gross.
    Enjoy your movie and nachos.

  18. You know what's funny...those seeking male enhancement should be careful what they wish for. The larger it is, the less likely your going to get regular sex because women get sore dealing with oversized objects unless they're in the porn industry. I don't think most guys even realize the down sides of the other end of the spectrum. But there are down sides. Sort of like bodybuilding. Sure, everyone would like chiseled abs and a nice body but then body builders go too far and end up looking ridiculous and freaky.

  19. I have no idea what the hell you are talking about! Are you taking care of your sister's daughter? Are you at her house? Why all the disorientation? Are you a sleepwalker?

    ANYWAY, I think that man should be shot. I hate his smiling, fucking face. (And I'm not talking about Andy.)

  20. yellojkt:
    BWAHAHAHAHA!! That was hilarious!!

    hey man, I had a life once! ;o)

    (:-O Ha ha! Well, at least they got together and made you.

    I don't get.

    I felt the same way about the Santa kids creepy factor :o(

    You know, I hadn't thought about it from that angle but you're right!

    I was watching Natalia while my sister was in the hospital. She camped out in my living room in her princess castle tent. Due to the humidity in my house the freakin' doors tend to stick so I slammed into... with my bad shoulder.

  21. Wow. I mean, wow. Santa's Little Helper 4 is my 3rd grade piano teacher. I am 98% positive.

  22. I find this post unvirtuos and offensive.


  23. But I find nachos very virtuos indeed!


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