Sunday, June 22, 2008

The mystery of the deflated ass cactus. + Weekend at the movies.

Oh my gawd you guys!! Do you remember my butt cactus???

Now it looks like this:
My ass has deflated!! I don't know how or why, all I know is that my cheeks are droopy! Andy said he knew something was wrong when the little butt bone shriveled.

My weekend was great until this tragedy hit my household. We made an emergency run to the place I bought it but they didn't have any more. How sad for me!

Don't worry about me, I'll keep looking for a replacement...


Enough about me.

The hubs and I went to see 2 movies this weekend.

We saw Get Smart on Saturday morning and as is our tradition we went to the first show. The place was packed so we were unable to park our butts in the middle seats of the back row. That sucked but what can you do?
I give the movie 2 drunk bees for Dwayne THE ROCK Johnson and half a drunk bee for making me giggle a little.

Would I recommend that you go see it and pay $10 (we paid $5 because we went to the old fogies show)? Nah, wait for it to come out on video. Unless you're a Rock fan and want to see his beautiful smile. Soooo dreamy...
Khrm! Anyway.
On Sunday morning we saw The Hulk. We were able to get the cool seats in the back so all was right with the world. I give this movie 3 drunk bees.

HOWEVER! I only recommend you go see it if you're a comic book fan (or married to one).
Speaking of comic book fans. All the peeps living in the Chicagoland area, remember that Wizard World is next weekend.

Normally, I would throw myself on the floor while kicking and screaming saying things like "Why?? Why must you torture me so??"
This year? I'm dying to go so I can take pictures of GROWN MEN wearing neon yellow spandex outfits and share them with the world!

But! The one year I want to go and Andy is all "No, I don't think I want to go this year."

Not only is he trying to kill me but he's trying to suck all the joy out of my life! Then he said something about how he refuses to provide me with any more blog fodder.

I might just have to start looking for a replacement Andy soon.

That's all I have for today folks. If you were traumatized by the deflated ass cheeks pictured above, make sure you click on Humor-Blogs so you can get that image out of your head.



Don't ask me for the recipe to deflate butts because I have no idea how it happened.


  1. Clearly, that butt cactus of yours wasn't doing any squat thrusts as part of its growing routine.

    And what the hell, Andy?! Apparently, Bee, you are going to have to go to Wacky Wizard World alone. I shall pray for you.

  2. So, are you going to replace Andy with a cactus?

    Cacti are weird things anyway, so presumably no-one would notice if you got a fake one.

  3. I honestly feel that the picture of your butt catcus (both before and after deflation) is grosser than my bottle of mealworms.

    I'll send Babycakes to attend Wizard World with you.

  4. The Cactus- I can't believe it just deflated! I'm so sorry for your loss. But is it just me or does it now look like a different part of anatomy?

    Oh, it's just me? Ooook.

    Movies- I am so jealous that you get to go to two movies in one weekend and they both were adult movies! I envy you Bee! I am as green as the Hulk!
    We always have to wait for the adult movies that we want to watch to come out on Netflix.

    Andy- You tell Andy that it is his DUTY to take you to that Wizard thing!!! If we miss men in spandex because of Andy's feelings, we are all coming after him!!! He only thinks he knows what villians are from the comics!

    I think I hit all of the key subjects.
    I will make sure to look for butt cacti for you Bee. I don't know how I will mail it but I will keep an eye open!

  5. LOL at the butt cactus. That is hilarious!

  6. Wizard World? Is that Wizard as in Mr. Wizard that geeky old guy who had a science show on Nickelodeon called Mr. Wizard's World when I was growing up?

    I bet he does wear yellow spandex in his off hours. It's always the mild looking grandpa types that are closet super freaks!

  7. Didn't J.Lo have her azz insured? You should have insured your butt cactus, Bee. tsk tsk

    Maybe you can use one of those penile pump thingies to breathe new life into it?

  8. the rock is hot!!!

    sorry your cactus died. i had a cactus in college. one night we had a crazy party and the next morning i found my poor cactus in the bathroom. it appeared that someone had set him on fire. he was all black and charred looking. sadly, he never recovered.

  9. I always thought The Rock's smile was rather carnivorous myself. Don't eat me!!!!!

    I think that cactus looks more like a gaping vagina in need of some major labial reduction surgery.

  10. FADKOG:
    Ha! I better start doing some squats cuz I’d hate to end up like the ass cactus. We learn so much from observing plant life.

    Maybe I will replace Andy with a cactus. Who knows, the cactus might even fix the light in our house.

    No fake plants for this girl!

    I was very disturbed with the ass carcass. Very. Disturbed.
    Yeah, send your Babycakes on over! Maybe then Andy will come too and we’ll have a nice time making fun of the *normal* people.

    Yes, Tracy. I agree with the weird resemblance.

    I don’t know who you’ve been talking to but we don’t watch Adult movies.
    Uh, we are 2 consenting adults and uh…

    Hopefully he’ll change his mind and we’ll go to Wizard World but the last time we went I got hit on by a girl and this has shaken him to the very core.

    Hilarious and a little sad, no? ;o)

    It’s a comic book convention jammed packed with cool people. Cool people that only come out once a year and buy a 3 day pass for a jillion dollars and walk around with Light Sabers. Way super cool.

    Um, Adult movies and penis pumps. I don’t know who you and Tracy have me confused with. ;op

    The Rock is soooo hot and cute and cuddly at the same time!
    My condolences on your burnt cactus.

    Gaping vaginas, Adult movies and penis pumps. If you were to have told me this is what I would be talking about today, I would have laughed and responded “Don’t be silly! It’s not Friday!” ;o)

  11. too bad your cactus shrunk and all.

    I can't believe Andy is being so selfish. humph

  12. I agree on the Hulk. It was a competent comic book movie, but nothing special. I liked it ok, but my wife was bored.

  13. I really think ed Norton is a grat actor, the movie was ok.
    Did you go to Muvico? the nachos are better then anywhere!

  14. Haha... the butt cactus is hilarious.

    Too bad it deflated... :(

  15. jean knee:
    That's just like Andy. So so selfish!

    The beginning did kind of drag.

    We are not going to a place were we pay a weeks salary to see a movie. No.

    I'm hoping to be able to find another one since it was a great topic of conversation.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.