MY chest hurts! I think I’m having a lopsided heart attack!

That’s when your heart hurts but the pain is not on your left side.

Get ready for another rant. Ready? Are you sure? This might not be up long. I might take it down since I don’t know how long this pissed-off-edness will last. Might last one day, it might take us into the next century!

I have 3 brothers and one sister. Ages 32, 31, (wait, my sister is 8 years younger than me I’m 35. 35-8 =?) 27 and 25. I have no serious issues with those above the age of 26 but the one below that age??? I want to slap him so hard his silly cheeks will touch his toes!!!

I don’t understand!

We were all raised by the same mother so how can he be so different from the rest of us??

He was the first to cry out for independence, moved to New York and bummed around but finally came back after a year, skinner than death and even more lacking in family social skills.

He doesn’t want anybody’s advice because EVERYBODY IS WRONG but he will ask for money or favors when he needs them. He judges us for taking our jobs seriously “It’s just a job man!” Uh yeah, one that helps when you ask me to borrow money for the bus man!

Enablers, that’s what we are.

About 2 weeks ago I asked him to stop using the text option on his phone because we got a $70 bill for usages on his line alone. We are only supposed to be dishing out $9.99 and now he cost us 7 times that??

He apologized said he would stop but guess the fuck what? I checked on his phone and he is now up to $143!!

Seriously???

How was my message misinterpreted? Please, someone explain to me how me saying “Stop it!” turned into “Dude, you know what? I’d like you to text every one of your fuckin little loser friends just to say things like ‘wzup guy wtcha doin’?’ because I feel like this will help strengthen the muscles in my heart so that when I finally have THE BIG ONE I will be able to drive myself to the hospital without the need of an ambulance!”

Thanks LITTLE brother! I KNEW I could count on you!

What?

You think I should keep personal family bizness out of my blog?

Tough shit there Sparky because now you pissed me off! Before, when it was $75 -almost two full tanks of gas-, I could control my heart beats by breathing slowly but now THAT IT IS ALMOST DOUBLE??
Well, breathing slowly won’t cut it because I might just lose too much oxygen and the 6 brain cells I have left might start knocking into each other. Where will we be then? Will you take care of me? Will you pay my fuckin’ bills?

But! Here is my solution. That Stimulus Package we are all coveting? You will get to see me cash it after you've signed it and MAYBE I’ll give you bus fare.

::sigh::

I know what you’re going to say, ‘bump him off your plan’.

One day, one day my heart will indeed be ice and he’ll have to walk that high wire without his chump of a safety net!

See that? And I don't even have kids! I shouldn't have this type of stress in my life!

Another Monday that sucked monkey balls! Can you guys please click on Humor-Blogs for me even if you know all I do is rant?

Isabella Sofia 5/29/08

I gave the evil gargoyle in me a sedative so that I may announce the birth of Isabella Sofia. I am truly lucky to be sharing the world with 2 special little girls. (Oh, and my sister's not so bad either!)

I was also informed that Natalia's (the older half of the angel nieces) middle name is now BIANCA*!! Yessss! My arduous harassment campaigning was rewarded!!

... Maybe I should run for president?

You may congratulate me now.

*If you're new to these here parts, that is my REAL LIFE name. The one I use at bars. And at the race track. Oh, and with my drug dealer.

Tiredness BS and de-evolution

I. Am. Exhausted!

Sooooo tired I can't talk my legs into supporting my body to go for a water run. Okay, that's just an excuse since I know that if I get up, I might as well get some cake... ooh or maybe some couscous salad! Be right back.

Back. I chose the couscous made by SIL Crazy Ez.

The party rocked! There were drawings of people with penis' on their heads and questions about what layette meant. I think SOMEBODY forgot it was a baby shower and not a bachelorette party! Bunch of sickies! There I was with my pure, pristine mind, blushing away!

I want to thank SILs Marie and Crazy Ez for co-hosting the BS with me. No way would I have been able to pull off the BS without them and I think they deserve a standing *O* for all their help with the BS!

Anyway, thank you for coming in to check on me even though I was rude and didn't visit your awesome blogs until today-night.

I'm going to bed now but I leave you with this one question, do you think the big guy in the sky has sent someone to realign my soul?

I received a religious music CD ANONYMOUSLY and I've been jammin' to it since Tuesday! That is the way to hook me you know, give me a good beat and a hippie playing a guitar while singing (this explains my love for Jack Johnson) and I'm following you like a rat following the Pied Piper.

Hasta Lumbago peoples and don't forget to click on Humor-Blogs for me!

.

P.S.

Why is it that every time I watch a TV show or movie where they're centered around Christmas I want it to be December?? I mean, we FINALLY won the battle over mother nature and have awesome weather and here I want to go back to snow!

.

P.P.S

ALSO?

Why?

Why do people still ask me WHY I don't want children?? It's the twenty-first fuckin century assholes! How about you evolve and wrap your head around people who might not think like you?? Oh! You think you might be able to change my mind? You think that after seeing me a handful of times in a year YOU are going to be that person who *fixed* me? If my mom and other family members couldn't do it, what makes you think you A STRANGER will? If you're that egotistical, maybe you're the one that needs *fixin'*!

(unless you're a hippie playing a guitar, then you can brainwash me into shooting babies outta my nose if you want)

You had me at Red Leopard Print!!

-Day 13. A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.-
Henry Ward Beecher

So...
Hard day.
BUT!!
We showed what we're made of, my wacky siblings, our wacky spouses and I.

After mass, the funeral director gave us the little flags you put on the cars for a funeral procession and you should have seen the guys.
They were so amped to be able to go thru red lights and stop signs! Seriously.
My brother Sergio whispered right away, "You can go thru red lights with these things." to Andy and Dan.
Any hopes to steal one was dashed since the funeral dude took them as soon as we parked at the cemetery. I'm thinking he's had some go missing...
.
On the way to the cemetery, we were sitting in the car, quietly reflecting, when all of a sudden AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" came on... Andy changed the station quickly but the next song was "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate and we catch "I believe in miracles, where you from, you sexy thing, you sexy thing!" another quick change of station "Dance till you can't dance till you can't dance no more" C+C Music Factory with "Everybody Dance".
.
Andy said that was the strangest soundtrack to a funeral he ever heard. Well, we lost it and had a good laugh.
.
Our car was car number 2 in the funeral procession and Andy started feeling the pressure, helped by Nancy and I of course, because he was afraid if he waited too long to go or hesitated, he could screw up the timing. Should he stop for gas? But he did fine, YAY Andy!
.
After all the emotional-ness, the brothers decided to get something to eat, so our little caravan of 7 people looked for the nearest IHOP. (I know what you're thinking, "IHOP? Why oh why must you go to the food poisoning capital of the world?!" We survived. This time.)
.
We were having a good time, remembering things, teasing each other (We discovered Dan looks--a little tiny bit--like McSteamy, just a little bit, Dan- maybe just the facial hair) when brother Sergio exclaims, "I have an announcement!" The whole restaurant stopped what they were doing, complete silence, waiting for him to say... what?
Is his wife Esmeralda pregnant? What? What???
.
Sergio:
Esmeralda is going back to her natural hair color.
... ... ... ...
Laughter!
Did that merit an announcement? Ummmm... no!
If it was an announcement, was it his to make? No, not really Sergio. No, no.
For some reason that just cracked us up.

.
Leaving the IHOP, the guys spotted EVIL Best Buy, electronics store and women's hell, therefore our caravan moved to there where, to my surprise, they had a rack of awesome laptop carriers and iPod accessories (red and leopard print baby!). Now if they would only take Esmeralda's suggestion and stock it with shoes... we might not want to drill holes in our foreheads while the men look at yet another Mega Dimensional Half Inch Thick TV with super sonic sound.
.
So this is where our day ended, the dudes playing Rock Band and school teacher, Esmeralda, making us play a trivia game (WHICH I WON! IN YOUR FACE!!) (I think I won...??) (Yeah, for the purposes of this post I won!).
Good times. Good memories.

Oh, and some lady was hitting on Andy, in church!!

Lulu 12/25/35-1/9/08

After months of suffering, our beloved Lulu has left us. She was a feisty lady that loved us more than we deserved.

Saturday we will sit next to her sons and daughters and feel a part of their family because of her. We will share their grief.

.

Now you will be subjected to things I either learned from her or we fought about because I was too stubborn to change.

.

1)

Don't leave your purse on the floor. It's bad luck. [okay, but only because I don't like getting my purse dirty]

2)

No matter what you're doing, you should always look nice doing it. [we'd always dress up when we visited you but my toilet scrubbing does not warrant heels and make up :o)]

3)

Take care of your husband. [I agree--sometimes--]

4)

However, if that man is no good for you, kick his ass out of your life. [she lead by example]

5)

Cold chile rellenos are not good. [we ate them anyway because we love you]

6)

Guavas in a jar are de-lish! [although not as good as the fresh ones]

7)

You can never have too much jewelry. [thank you for stocking my collection]

8)

Nothing says love like a fresh Concha, coffee and gossip. [this one will be hard to do without you]

9)

Always keep coloring books and crayons in a drawer. [it helped with my short attention span]

10)

Find the sunniest room in your house and fill it with plants. [I tweaked that one a little and just put plants in every available space in my house]

11)

Don't take shit from anybody. [AMEN!]

12)

Don't take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at what life throws you. [you were the best teacher]

.
I'm sure there's allot more...

.

We will miss you.
..............................

..............................

Life Ever After

Life filled with pain and sorrow, surrounded powerless
Fighting for yesterday, today and tomorrow
Sadness in knowing the pain this is causing
Comfort in God’s reward for constant suffering

Walking through fields of beautiful flowers
Their dizzying perfume and sent filling the senses
Watching the sun rise and set with amazement
Colorful birds singing their joy for God’s life ever after

Breathing God’s presence and knowing he loves us
Pleasure in watching loved ones lives fill with happiness
Hoping their love will strengthen their power
Looking as more arrive, enjoying their wonderment

Dancing beneath the stars, stretching and reaching them
Plentiful rainbows radiating brightness
Sun light and moon light together in harmony
Basking in God’s Love and Glory, knowing that fear no longer threatens

Flame that has not been extinguished only transcended all time and all matter
Gathering flowers, humming along with the beautiful music
Peacefully embracing memories, knowing that one-day we will all be reunited
Waiting patiently, lovingly smiling...

Bee

ThurFriSatSunday

So...

Did you miss me? :o)

What? What the hell do you mean "No"??

Fine then! As my buddy Cartman says "Screw you guys! I'm goin' hooome!" Oh how I love Cartman... ::dreamy sigh::

Wait! I was just kidding! Come back! I've got stuff to tell you!
Don't mind me, I'm sick so the 6 brain cells I normally count on are kinda loopy right now.

On with the freak show recap.

.
Thursday:
Our annual Thanksgiving hosting went great. Relatives were well behaved, food was good, Tazz was in his kennel (you know, so we wouldn't be sued after he took a chunk off of someone's butt/finger)(not buttfinger! butt and/or finger). We had a great evening/night which ended in us discussing who was the sanest of all 5 of us siblings and brother Dan won hands down. I don't know who was voted crazier but I know it wasn't me.
By the way, I just want to mention that my sister made Green Bean Casserole and much to my disappointment... it was good! :o(

.
Friday:
We had a chance to go to Sergio and Esmeralda's house to meet the priest, Father Edward, that would be performing their ceremony on Saturday.

Talk about "out of the box"! He is genuinely a cool guy who told us about some of his "life bloopers". He has a real affection for both my brother and Esmeralda (can't think of why!). Anyway, he blessed their home and us, luckily, I didn't sizzle or melt when the holy water hit me. It was a real concern. ;o)

Although, now that Andy's been blessed, I'm not sure I wantta hang out him anymore!
.
Just so you know, we were godparents of Arras (or Wedding Coins*) so as a joke, we brought them chocolate quarters which Father Edward thought was hilarious.

As a side note, since I didn't know better, when I bought them they looked tiny so I told the sales lady to give me four packages of 13. She gave me a funny look and said I only needed 13. Oops!
.
Saturday:
We got our haircut and I yelled (well not so much yelled but "scolded softly") at my hairstylist guy (happily gay) for leaving Andy's hair so long last week. He admitted to it and said he just wanted to see him sooner...
.
We then drove days to witness the Holy Union of Sergio and Es. Little did Andy and I know we had to walk down the aisle! THE HORROR! We managed to do so without tripping or bumping into the floral arrangements (well, I did bump into 'em but they didn't fall).

The ceremony was beautiful!
Father Edward has come to know Sergio and Es because of their constant volunteering, so he was able to insert anecdotes about their history. They are truly blessed to have someone who knows them personally be able to marry them. This made a moment that should be special to begin with, unique and beautiful.

Also, when I brought the Arras up during the ceremony, Father Edward asked me if they were the chocolate ones... :o( :o) (Don't tell anyone but I think I stood on the wrong side of the formation line thingie, I was the only girl on the guy's side. Hope nobody noticed!)


.
Saturday Part 2:
On to the party!

There were allot of kids there. Allot Of Kids. ALLOT OF KIDS!

We had a great time, the food was good, the company was good, I regretted not buying the blouse that was a size smaller since the one I wore was too big and therefore made me look pregos. But enough about me! ;o)
.
Sunday:
Sick as a dog and talking to you guys!
.
I want to leave you with some Andyisms:
.
After getting my haircut:
.
Andy:
"Wow! Your hair looks good!"
.
Bee: [in shock since the last time he complimented me was...????]
"What? A compliment from Andy? Maybe, I should write that down so I know exactly when that took place!"
.
Andy:
"asshole"
.
But he says I exaggerate on his obsessive swearing.
.
While walking down the aisle at my brother's wedding:
Bee:
"Hey babe, it's like we're getting married!"
.
Andy:
"No! No no no no no..."
.
I think he might have forgotten we're already married. And if that's the case, I'm gonna start scoping out the men inventory to pick myself a Brad Pitt look-alike. (I say look-alike cuz the original is otherwise occupied and has too many kids) If you're a Brad Pitt look-alike, give me a call/email/smoke signal so we can chat... How you doin'?

While leaving the church thru the side door:
Andy:
Bee, that statue right there, who is it? Is it Joseph?
.
Bee:
ANDY! That's Jesus!
.
I hope your Holiday was as good as mine! :o)
.
.
*Here is the significance: The Arras represent assets spread over the twelve months of the year and more to share with the poor, the number 13 is of good luck and good fortune.

The day after...

This was my cake...



Do you see how the little one is hypnotized by the flame? Is it even safe to have so many candles on a cake? Well, we survived [just barely].

I had an awesome weekend! But I won't bore you with 1 million pictures... I did want you to see a couple of before and afters.

Same-ish spots, different seasons.

I took the first set in July of this year and the second on Saturday.

Our day was about 50 degrees windy, cloudy and beautiful! I LOVE FALL!
.

Here is the family after having eaten the yummy French Toast Casserole Andy made. I was lucky enough to have all the important people in my life come and give me my yearly hug.

I took these in the conservatory.

Why is my poop green?

Naw!!! Just kidding!
This post isn't about green poop!
I just thought it was a nice attention grabbing title. ;op (but if anybody has any ideas let me know) (shhhhh...)

So... I have a special treat for you guys.

I have a linky for the radio website I listen to that's playin' Christmas Music.

What? Are you sayin' you have satellite radio and can tune in to Christmas music on another station?

Well... you won't be listening to what I'm listening to. If you wantta be KEWL like me and be bopping your head to what I'm listening to, clicky clicky!

On to the serious mushy post.

Since it's closer to D-Day, I’ve decided to list a few of my treasured memories as I'm remembering them in no particular order.

1) New Year’s Eve. Big bear hug from my Grandpa swinging me around wishing me a Happy New Year.
2) Nancy telling me she was pregnant part 1.
3) Seeing Natalia move around in Nancy and finding out she was having a girl.
4) Going to the movies with Dan and Sergio when we were about 17, 14 and 13. We went to see Batman Believe it or not Dan paid… :o)
5) Sitting in the park where Andy and I decided we should get married.
6) Ricky leaning in anxiously waiting his turn to open his Christmas present.
7) Andy nervously asking me to be his exclusive girlfriend, he was so nervous-- so cute!
8) My mom buying me my Beach Cruiser when I was 12, not the fact that she bought me the bike but the joy on her face when she saw the joy on mine.
9) Holding Natalia for the first time.
10) Sitting by the lake with Andy knowing he was it for me.
11) Nancy telling me she was pregnant part 2.
12) First day waking up in our new house. (Although I had to get up to go to work so that kinda sucked!)
13) Christmas 1992, first one we were all together as a united family.
14) When I gave 4 days notice on a job I had and the e-mail I sent them said I was quitting because "an opportunity to work as a fry cook at McDonald's opened up and I could not pass it up." they believed me and immediately called me into their office to ask if it was the McDonald's down the block.
15) The day Natalia said she wanted to be just like Tia Bee. It gave me great pleasure to see the look of horror on everybody's face...

I'm sure there's tons more I'll remember after I've posted this but those were ones that came to mind right now.

::sigh::

Good times!
..................
..................
Do you hear that?

It's a bell and it sounds like it's singing

♫♪"Bee-Bee" "Bee-Bee" "Bee-Bee"♫♪

Or am I just being egotistical?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Don't you wonder what I'm gonna talk about once my Birthday has passed? :o)

Bonding Moment With Mom AND A Sicky Story!

So…
I’ve told you about Saturday morning coffee with mom right? We usually talk about boneless rats, skunks and watch Gory Mexican Cinema (not to be confused with Al Gore speaking Spanish).

Well, this past Saturday I was about to leave when The Fast and The Furious started.
I told her she needed to watch that movie.

It starts with cars hijacking a truck so she looked at me doubtfully as she stood up.

Momma Bear:
Is it a good movie?

---Bee:
Well, the acting isn’t great and the plot is a rip off of Point Break but just hold on for a couple of minutes.

Next scene is hotty Paul Walker in a car and all Momma Bear says is “Oh…” and sits back down.

Yup she got it!
.
A weird little side note, when I searched for pictures of Paul Walker, these two dudes came up... they ain't no Paul Walker!
.

.
This is Paul Walker! What? You think I'm being shallow? You can enter your complaints on the side bar!


.
.
Disgustingly sick thing I heard on my way home yesterday:

"He is 60 years old so why is he drinking breast milk?"
This was an Ad I heard on the radio and they were asking me to tune into Fox to find out more.

I said to my radio, "If you ever say something that gross to me again, I'm gonna rip you out with my bare hands!!!"
I think it understood!
No, I will not be tuning in! [GRUHOSSSS!]

Halloweenie!

Our Hallowbash was Saturday and we had so much fun!
The whole family got into the spirit of dead witches and costumed up! :o)

Dan, Marie & Amanda

Mariachi, Fairy, Flamenco Dancer

.

Big Texan, Nancy and Natalia

Fiyero (Scarecrow) Elphaba (Wicked Witch) and Galinda (Glinda The Good Witch)

.

Marie's Dad, Marie's Mom and my Mom

Lord Vader, Queen and Mother Superior

.

Esmeralda and Sergio

Vampires---------- Vampires that are afraid of Bee

Andy and I were very politically incorrect and went as a Border Patrol Guard and a Mexican.

I was La Migra (Immigration) and he was my Mexican!

Yup! We switched it up! :op

Andy---------------------- Bee

My Mexican--------Border Patrol (La Migra)

So...

I thought we were sure thing winners for the costume contest due to outrageous originality and crazy disregard of our cultures but alas we were beat by a couple wearing football player/cheerleader costumes.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the thing was fixed [yes I am] considering that I threatened to deport everybody if they didn't vote for me and they all claimed they would but once the votes were tallied... I'm gonna need a big wagon to cart them all off!

At any rate here are the winners.

Couples costume Big Dude and Tina (Marie's niece and her guy who's name I never learned) and individual costume was Lord Vader. (Marie's Dad)

The big dude was hilarious!

They brought in sandwiches and he headed straight for the table, stopped looked at me and said "Can I have some now or do I have to wait? Normally I'd wait but..."

.

I said to him "Dude, if you want a sandwich I can't see anybody trying to stop you!" He laughed and grabbed himself some sandwiches with some gherkins.

HE WAS HUGE!

.

Anyway, I promised a near death experience so here it is:

The Big Dude brought his sister, not sure what she was dressed as (...?) and I don't have a picture of her but she complimented my costume (just want to add that everybody did! So, sore loser that I am... okay I'll drop it!) and then she went on to say something else.

.

I have to admit something here, since I am such an antisocial person, when I meet people for the first time I don't really pay attention to what they say. Seriously, my brain just half listens... anyway I laughed at whatever she said but then my brain said "why are you laughing stupid!? she just said she wanted to borrow your costume!" so mid laugh I stopped and tilted my head sideways and said "Hurhn????" Luckily she had to go to the bathroom so she ran in once it was unoccupied.

.

I grabbed a couple of carrots and went into the other room where Nancy was. She saw the perplexed look on my face and asked what happened.

Here is where my near death experience came in.

.

Bee:

Big Dude's sister just asked to borrow my costume!

.

Nancy:

What?!!

.

Bee:

No, that's not the weird part! The weird part is that my brain repeated the words back to me and all I could say was "Huhrn??" I mean what the hell kinda thing to respond when a complete stranger asks you for your costume??

.

[I started laughing and kept saying "Huhrn???" cuz it was making Nancy laugh]

.

ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!!!!

.

I inhaled a piece of the carrot I was eating and it started choking me!!!

Yeah! I'm serious!!!

Vegetables will help you live longer? I think not!

.

When people choke they should do it on a large piece of beef!

That way you can say "Yeah, she was a big meat eater and didn't believe in chewing her food. She liked to swallow large pieces just so she could brag about it! Yup, very irresponsible eating on her part, I guess she met her match!'

.

They are not supposed to say. "Yeah, the big doofus choked on a baby carrot! I know, if it didn't kill Bugs Bunny it shouldn't have killed her, what a wimp!"

.

If you're wondering if anybody gave me the Heimlich, the answer is no since I saw a documentary about the dude saying he was a phony. I showed that little piece of carrot who was boss!

::sigh:: Now my voice is all raspy!

Although... it does sound pretty cool! ;o)
.

Another October Birthday!

Today is Brother Dan's Birthday so I want to say:
Anduhhh wachaminniefooooooooo!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER DAN!!!!!!!!

♪ ♫ ☺AND MANY MORE!! ♪ ♫ ☺

Above is Dan and his lovely wife Marie at the Hallowbash.

More stories to come tomorrow regarding the nuttiness that was... including my near death experience!

♪ ♫ ☺Something to tune in to! ♪ ♫ ☺

Red

Introducing a new addition to the family.

No longer well I miss out on Wordless Wednesdays due to Orcs and Trolls (No, I'm not talking about Andy. Stop being mean to him since he's the one who got me my cool new toy.)

Ladies and Gents, this is Ruby R. (I gave her Andy's last name since it seemed only fair...)

Yeah, she is so pretty...

She was delivered to me earlier than expected via DHL to the AIA (Arkham Insane Asylum) on Friday.

The delivery dude got a surprise himself when he almost had to fend off hugs and kisses from one very grateful lunatic.

He responded with a cheesy grin saying that, that was what he liked to see.

So anyway that's all I have to say for today!

Later Chivatos!

Oh...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANCY!!

---------------27!--------------------

3 MORE YEARS AND YOU'LL BE 30!

When Irish Eyes are Smilin'... (well Non-Irish Eyes)

So...
I have to warn all of y'all that the Bee you've come to know and love might be a little sickly sweet once in a while.

I know you're used to my hard hitting edge and no bullshit attitude [::snicker::] but you might be surprised to get sensitive Bee every now and then.

I'm telling you this because I don't want you to say... "What the crap! Did I just enter Rainbow Brite land?" The answer to that would be "HELL NO!" I will just have a day or two out of the month where I might be nice.

We can call it RPMS (Reverse Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) (Did you just cringe? Why? We're all adults here.) (Well, I'm almost an adult...)

AN-Y-WAY...

I have a very good reason. You see... on October 7th (Sergio's birthday) HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERGIO!! 2007 at about oh... 4:00 pm-ish. My little sister Nancy, the little one that's 8 whole years younger than I am, made an announcement in this fashion.

As we are all gathered for dinner to celebrate Sergio's birthday she says, "I'd like to take a family picture of everybody before we eat."

Now... I'm starving, I hadn't eaten anything since I was saving myself for some yumo-licious Mom made Enchiladas but we all grudgingly said okay.

She asked us to pose and said, "Say cheese and I'm pregnant." Everybody is kind of confused so we laugh but brother Dan and Natalia say "Cheese I'm pregnant" now, it's a cold day in hades before you can catch all of us off guard. One, maybe two of us but never all of us at once so we kind of look at each other while Dan and Natalia are still saying "Cheese I'm pregnant" (I just want to say it was really disturbing to hear these words coming from them.)

Then as if somebody slapped us all at the same time we get up to fight for the first hug! I, of course, came out victorious since I just shoved everybody the heck outta my way!

So there you have it ladies and gents! I will be an aunt again! Me! Too bad you can't see me right now cuz you'd see I'm dancing like a fool as I'm typing this! (doing an Irish jig which is impressive because I'm not Irish) (I'm not doing it very well either so maybe it's best you can't see me!)

Oh yeah... and uh... congrats to my sis and her hubby! I mean they deserve some credit for this momentous occasion! You can't all be congratulating me.

Also, before her husband came over (he was working therefore unable to attend dinner, he was supposed to have the day off but... well anyway) I asked the guys what the appropriate congratulatory thing I say to him should be:

"Nice shot!"

"Way to hit a target!"

"Good goin' Texan!'

"You knocked up my little sister, naissse!"

"You have strong swimmers!"

And other more inappropriate ones which I can't post due to the fact that his mom reads my blog (No, that's not the reason I just don't remember them right now. Sorry Mrs. Texan's Mom ;o)... )

What I did was clap and hoot as soon as he walked thru the door.
Yeah, I'm classy like that.

Mom's house

<--posing with fake surprise

P.S.

No, I'm not in any of these pictures...

I feel the love...

I want to thank y'all for the support.
I tried to make my post lighthearted but I guess my true feelings might have peeked thru somehow. I was feeling a little sad and frustrated.

I know why my mom feels I should have a baby.
In her heart she fears I won't have someone looking out for me when I'm older just like she has us. I know everything she does or says is out of love even though it might not be as tactful as we would like.

It doesn't matter what happened between us for her and I to finally see eye to eye but I think we understand each other now.

For this one time only...

Group Hug!

Alright...! Who's grabbing Andy's ass!!!! (Dan!)

October Rain-Begining of Oct. B-Days

October… wow!
This year is flying by... which is fine by me because it's been pretty crappy.

I had to change my desk calendar thing and I realized I had completely forgotten to change it from August to September! I missed a whole month…

Anyway, as I was removing the sheet I realized my brain is on it. What do I mean?

Well, anytime I talk to peeps on the phone I jot down little notes for myself so that I remember which ass-wipe I’m talking to. If I’m leaving for the day I’ll write a little reminder on the calendar so that when I come in the next day I’ll pick up where I left off.

After looking at it closely I’ve realized how scatter brain I really am! No wonder I ramble. Who else can boast of having this many coffee stains in their brain?



Now I’m on the right track again and back in the present.There’s nothing like starting the month with a nice new fresh clean brain...




P.S.
I know you can make out some of the numbers on there but I wouldn’t call them if I were you, they’re lawyers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nurses out there...

Yesterday we went to visit a loved one at the hospital.
I had to wait for my anger to subside before I could write about it.

They made plans to move our loved one to a nursing home on Friday evening. We knew this was going to be a sad time for her and her daughter so we decided to go and provide a little moral support. As you can imagine both were visibly upset. This will be the first time in 50 years that they will not be living together...

There is some sort of medication they are giving her intravenously. When we got there it was beeping and when I asked her daughter why it was doing that she said it could be because the medicine was low or maybe she had pulled it out accidentally. The beeping is supposed to alert the medical staff and someone is supposed to come check on it to make sure everything is okay.

We were there for 15 minutes and no one came. I asked her daughter to push the nurses call button which she did.

From where I was sitting I had a clear view of the nurses station. When the call went off i saw the nurse assigned to my friend's room (we will call her NURSE FUCKIN' FAT ASS BITCH, I know, she was blessed with a really long name so we will just refer to her as NFFAB) sigh heavily and sent an aid to turn it off.

The aid came in, shut off the thing, and said NFFAB told her to shut it off. So I asked, I swear to you on my favorite pair of shoes that I was very nice, 'Is she going to come check on it soon?' see I don't know anything about this stuff so I don't know if this is vital or what. The nice aid said she wasn't sure and she went and asked NFFAB.

NFFAB turned and gave me this look that cannot even be described as anger she looked at me with hate. Now, had she known me I would've understood that look. Hell I get it at least once a day and twice on Mondays. But she didn't know me so where had that come from? We stared at each other for like 1 minute (try it, it's along time) my instinct was to get up and smash her head into her computer or at the very least laugh at her tight red pants but what would that accomplish? She slowly turned her head to look away.