Every year, we celebrate Christmas Eve with the Cors and then Christmas day with the Ruts (not our actual last names but I don't need you guys going to google maps and then watching me sit in front of my TV night after night)(weirdos).
The Cors party was awesome I got some great gifts from the White Elephant game- booze and a vacuum/broom thing. I'll be drunk while I clean, AS IT SHOULD BE.
The next day we went to my inlaws and had a blast. I normally feel some tension but this year we were minus my brother-in-law's long time girlfriend, we will call her Mulee, she was... well, IS a conniving little bitch and I was never able to let bygones be bygones when around her.
Not even on Christmas. I know I know my soul will be damned until eternity blah blah it can only be damned once though so I've had that privilege since the 80s.
We had fun, the dogs had fun and the men did dishes. It was a Christmas miracle.
Mocha went absolutely nuts over a very peculiar looking toy:
I found it disturbing since you had to shake it in an up-and-down motion to make it gurgle...
While we were eating my mother-in-law's delicious raspberry french toast casserole, Andy and I had this exchange:
Andy:
You know what I find interesting?
Bee:
No, pray tell my sweet.
Andy:
How we love raspberries but if you think about it, we are eating hairy berries.
Bee:
I like their tartness, it makes my cheeks cave in and get all skinny.
Andy:
Hey you! Come here and eat my hairy berries!
Bee:
BWAHAHAHAHAAA damn dude! Don't be so nasty! It's Christmas! … Well, Jesus would think it's funny too.
Andy:
Of course he would think it's funny! If I was around back then I'd be his sidekick apostle. I'd totally have his back and kick Judas in the hairy berries and I'd say, 'see what I did there Jesus? I kicked him in the raspberries for ya'!' Fuckin Judas.
Bee:
Amen and peace to all mankind.
All in all, it was a great Christmas!
P.S.
jean knee sent me marygeewuanna for Christmas. JEAN KNEE! I LOVE YOU MAN!
Humor-Blogs
I leave you with my favorite-ist song of the season:
YAY!!! I LOVE YOU BEE!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dog would love that toy :)
ReplyDeleteOh that's Manikini!
I love you Mankini!
Did I tell you I love you Bee?
ReplyDeleteI do.
I really reallly really do.
:)
That Mankini is so naughty Bee.
ReplyDeleteIm now scared of him :(
NCS, I love you too, man!
ReplyDeleteI know!
ReplyDeleteYoure cool Bee!
happy new year, bee!
ReplyDelete~AirmanMom returning to her blog...
is Manikini that phallic like dog toy?? oh, my
ReplyDeleteI bet you're good at shaking it and making it gurgle
that's what he said
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff! Glad you had a good time.
ReplyDelete*I* would love that toy. Forget the dog!
ReplyDeleteI so want that toy.
ReplyDeleteI like the way Andy could've rewritten the Bible. I always said there weren't enough people getting kicked in the pods in that book.
ReplyDeleteAs to Jean Knee's gift - good call lady!
I bet Andy's wife wouldn't have let him be an apostle - giving up his job to spend all that time away from home hanging around prostitutes and other unsavoury characters ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! Came over from Mission Mondays.
ReplyDeleteOMG, come eat my hairy berries!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh cause I feel like poo today.
it gurgles? Interesting...
ReplyDeleteI never got kicked in the raspberries on Christmas... Now that is something to be thankful for!!
(squeak) (squeaky) (squeak)
ReplyDeleteNothing like kicking some hairy rasberries to really get us in the Christmas spirit. I think that account is in the Bible somewhere. Although I think you are talking about gentile rasberries compared to the original uncircumcised rasberries. I'll shut my face now.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you and Andy!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to know that my family isn't the only family that makes jokes about stuff like that. My sister made a cheese ball for Christmas, so we were making jokes about cheesy balls. On Christmas.
i love up and down action that makes me gurgle ....
ReplyDeletegreat post!
Hehehe...what do you know -- I love hairy berries too! Sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas. Erm, what exactly was that toy?!! :)
ReplyDeleteLike so many things in life, most of my treasures have to be turned upside down in order to raise a giggle.
ReplyDeleteIf Andy had been Jesus' sidekick and done all those fun sidekick things, I'd probably be better able to pay attention in church.
That toy is so...wrong. I love it!
ReplyDeleteHairy berries? Hoo hah. I must rethink my fruit eating habits. Wait...that didn't come out right...shake me quick!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would like to be around in "Bible times". They had it real rough back then, I mean in everything you have ever read or documentary you have ever seen have they ever mentioned toilet paper? I don't think people back then had more than 1 or 2 pairs of undergarments either......
ReplyDeleteOh & Brian they are called whores, yea....whores.
I absolutely loathe Christmas songs, but that video?
ReplyDeleteThank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou for sharing it.
For some reason, I picture those two as you and Andy.
Don't ruin the moment, kay?
Thanks for having a kick-ass funnyashell blog. I'm looking forward to the comic strip too!
omg that video... so disturbing! lol
ReplyDelete