Bee, a bucket, water and some frozen nippies.

Okay you guys. You have to admit that the tiny black cloud that follows my household around is beginning to get a little irritating. I mean, don't the powers that be get tired of poking at us with their plungers? Sooner or later they'll have to move on and pick on somebody taller, faster, smarter…

I have mentioned we were having issues with our water heater. For the past few months, only one person could comfortably shower within an 8 hour period. The next person would be left with luke warm to icy cold water.

AND GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DID DISHES BEFORE ANDY TOOK A SHOWER!

We at least had some hot water. It worked out fine because I'd shower in the morning and Andy in the evening.

But then…

Thursday Morning approximately 6:30 AM

Andy:
Bee! We have a problem!!

Bee [startled out of a deep sleep where she was "dancing" with Brad Pitt]
huhn? Wha?

Andy:
The water heater isn't working!

Bee:
::sigh:: We knew that already

Andy:
No! It's not working at all now! There is NO hot water!
You'll have to get up and make my bagel so I can check it out.

Bee:
Make your bagel? It can't be THAT serious. [if my eyes had been open, I'm sure I would have rolled them]

Andy:
I don't have time for games, Bee. I'm already 20 minutes late.

Being the good wife that I am, I got up and spread cream cheese on his bagel. Done!

As Andy was running around doing Andy things [::rolls eyes::], I calmly grabbed my big pasta pot, filled it up with water, put it on the stove, gave Andy some matches so he could run back downstairs and continue his Andy things (even though my argument was to leave well enough alone since we would both be leaving for work and nobody would be home to save the dogs if the house went KABLOOM), I grabbed a 5 gallon Home Depot bucket, filled it up with water, finally talked Andy into shutting the water heater down completely and then had to explain to him what a Mexico Style Shower was.

Step One.
Put a full pot of water on the stove and wait for it to boil.

Step Two.
Grab a big 5 gallon bucket* (doesn't have to be from Home Depot but the orangeness of it makes everything more cheesy) and fill it with water.

Step Three.
Put 5 gallon bucket in bath tub.

Step Four.
Pour boiling hot water from pot into 5 gallon bucket.

Step Five.
Grab a little container to use as a pouring device. Preferably plastic.

Step Six.
Strip nahked and get into tub.

{picture of nahked woman}

Step Seven.
Pour water over yourself using the preferably plastic container.

Step Eight.
Lather, rinse repeat as needed.

I don't think I need to tell you what happens afterwards, right? The drying part should be something you already know.

I'm not going to lie to you, the water is warm but you will freeze precious parts of your body as the cold air hits you.

This is how we used to do it when I was younger and visiting my grandparents in Mexico. They only had one spigot where you could get water from so the bathrooms didn't have running water.

When I told Andy, he looked at me like I had grown 4 arms an extra leg and a turtle.

This is what happens when you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You go to pieces when you have to rough it a little bit and freeze your nippies.

The differences in cultures sometimes amuse me to no end. When I told the ladies at work they were shocked and horrified. When I called SIL Crazy Ez and told her we had no hot water, she right away asked "How are you showering? Mexico Style?"

That's what I'm talkin' about!

My only worry was that I would be smelling and maybe tasting like Fettuccine Alfredo since that was the last thing I cooked in my pasta pot but then I thought "well who the hell DOESN'T want to smell like creamy garlic sauce?" I'm getting hungry just smelling myself.

*If you are a little on the larger side, you can use 2 buckets for extra freshness.

P.S.

Who the hell told the muppets they knew how to sing? Enough with the muppet specials already!

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