Friday, March 28, 2008

Bachelor Party Part Deux and Inflatable J-Lo.

-Day 87.-I go to strip clubs, I like strip clubs... I really want to be a stripper, I'm doing comedy to get into stripping.- Sarah Silverman

So... I found out more about the lewd shenanigans my hub-bub might be a part of at that cursed bachelor party.

They were sent a naughty e-mail with the picture of a blond bimbo whose face I have committed to my memory.

You know, in case I ever bump into her at the mall, while she's buying a pair of size 12 shoes because she has abnormally large feet.
I will walk up to her and punch her in the face while I step on her ginormous big toe.

They also advertised nude cruises, topless whirlyball (? who's topless the men or the women?) and other crap I can't remember. No. I will NOT post the link to this modern day Sodom and Gomorrah!

The Best Man went all out and became super freakin' organized! I bet he can't plan a party for his wife but when it comes to naked hoochies, booze and men, he's fuckin' J-Lo in The Wedding Planner!

This means that party is going to be more than my little brain can handle.
After today, I will do what women throughout the ages have done and live in the world of denial while knitting my own underwear.

Speaking of J-Lo, strippers and debauchery...
Just when I think I couldn't be shocked, I hear about the new answer to blow up dolls... Inflatable Celebrities. There's so much I could say about this but really, what else is there to say?

-----------------------------------------------------------Edited for television.


  1. Perhaps they ought to make a film just using the inflatable versions of the stars. See if anyone notices the difference. And a wooden Hugh Grant...

  2. Who's the picture of on the bottom of your post?

  3. Brian has become so used to being first that he doesn't even celebrate it anymore. Such a shame. Maybe he should start waiting for someone else to be first before commenting.

  4. Since she has unusually large feet, keep telling Andy that she's probably got a penis bigger than his. He'll hear that so much that he'll start to believe it and will stay far away from her.

  5. The names of these celebrity love companions are nothing short of inspired. I bet these guys who make them sit in their basements and giggle...much like I did at Tracy's foot/penis hypothesis.

    My only question is who goes on these nude cruises?! I like to keep my nudity in house.

  6. okay the whole inflatable thing is just too ewwww.

    what's wrong with just sticking with Hairy Palmer?

  7. ::Erasing JK comment out of my brain::

    Hey! All I know is that what happend in Sodom and Gomorrah was not pretty ;p

  8. Tracy:

    I was being modest, rather than drawing attention to my natural firstness...

  9. Jean Knee- Who's Hairy Palmer?

    Brian- You truly are modest. You would not do well on a nude cruise.

  10. Let him have his fun, stop being so dramatic. Did you ask him if I could tag along?

  11. I'm at the Library clicking for you. :0

    Two can play the dual-clicking game!

  12. No Dan, Ramon will not be at the party dancing in a cop uniform.

  13. what am I going to do with all my singles now?

  14. Dan, Tracy wants to know who Hairy Palmer is. you wanna tell her?

  15. We'll take Dan's singles!

  16. Inflatable celebrities! Now we can claim to have "blown" Hollywood's finest.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.