Friday, March 28, 2008

Bachelor Party Part Deux and Inflatable J-Lo.

-Day 87.-I go to strip clubs, I like strip clubs... I really want to be a stripper, I'm doing comedy to get into stripping.- Sarah Silverman

So... I found out more about the lewd shenanigans my hub-bub might be a part of at that cursed bachelor party.

They were sent a naughty e-mail with the picture of a blond bimbo whose face I have committed to my memory.

You know, in case I ever bump into her at the mall, while she's buying a pair of size 12 shoes because she has abnormally large feet.
I will walk up to her and punch her in the face while I step on her ginormous big toe.

They also advertised nude cruises, topless whirlyball (? who's topless the men or the women?) and other crap I can't remember. No. I will NOT post the link to this modern day Sodom and Gomorrah!

The Best Man went all out and became super freakin' organized! I bet he can't plan a party for his wife but when it comes to naked hoochies, booze and men, he's fuckin' J-Lo in The Wedding Planner!

This means that party is going to be more than my little brain can handle.
After today, I will do what women throughout the ages have done and live in the world of denial while knitting my own underwear.

Speaking of J-Lo, strippers and debauchery...
Just when I think I couldn't be shocked, I hear about the new answer to blow up dolls... Inflatable Celebrities. There's so much I could say about this but really, what else is there to say?

-----------------------------------------------------------Edited for television.

16 comments:

  1. Perhaps they ought to make a film just using the inflatable versions of the stars. See if anyone notices the difference. And a wooden Hugh Grant...

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  2. Who's the picture of on the bottom of your post?

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  3. Brian has become so used to being first that he doesn't even celebrate it anymore. Such a shame. Maybe he should start waiting for someone else to be first before commenting.

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  4. Since she has unusually large feet, keep telling Andy that she's probably got a penis bigger than his. He'll hear that so much that he'll start to believe it and will stay far away from her.

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  5. The names of these celebrity love companions are nothing short of inspired. I bet these guys who make them sit in their basements and giggle...much like I did at Tracy's foot/penis hypothesis.

    My only question is who goes on these nude cruises?! I like to keep my nudity in house.

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  6. okay the whole inflatable thing is just too ewwww.

    what's wrong with just sticking with Hairy Palmer?

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  7. ::Erasing JK comment out of my brain::

    Hey! All I know is that what happend in Sodom and Gomorrah was not pretty ;p

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  8. Tracy:

    I was being modest, rather than drawing attention to my natural firstness...

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  9. Jean Knee- Who's Hairy Palmer?

    Brian- You truly are modest. You would not do well on a nude cruise.

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  10. Let him have his fun, stop being so dramatic. Did you ask him if I could tag along?

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  11. I'm at the Library clicking for you. :0

    Two can play the dual-clicking game!

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  12. No Dan, Ramon will not be at the party dancing in a cop uniform.

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  13. what am I going to do with all my singles now?

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  14. Dan, Tracy wants to know who Hairy Palmer is. you wanna tell her?

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  15. We'll take Dan's singles!

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  16. Inflatable celebrities! Now we can claim to have "blown" Hollywood's finest.

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.