Thursday, March 13, 2008

I've gotten mail with what I hope are chocolate stains!

-Day 72. Do not believe yourself healthy. Immortality is health; this life is a long sickness.- ST. AUGUSTINE, Sermons

I was in the middle of putting a proposal together for an attorney and had to stop to blow my nose (I was infected YET AGAIN by the germ carrying gray haired bats), when I realized my germs were going to be stuffed into an envelope and mailed to a suburb near me.

I'm sending my germs to an attorney who has fought with me for 7 months. He deserves to be sniffling, coughing and sounding like Elmer Fud. If you try to make my life uncomfortable, I'll give you a big germy kiss!

I started laughing evilly. BWAHA HA HA-- Then I thought "Wait a sec... Aaaaargh! I get mail too..."

This sent me into convulsions because I thought of all the letters and envelopes that I handle on a daily basis. Papers that go thru my desk coming from one place or another... what were people doing before they sent them to me??? ::Blech!::

What about all the junk mail we get? You can't tell me it's not put together by someone in their basement...

I. Can. No. Longer. Focus.

Nobody send me anything!
... ... Unless it's a winning lottery ticket or money.

I was just punished by Karma! I sneezed and hit publish accidentally. Oops.

I promise not to make you sick if you click on humor-blogs for me.


  1. First!

    It's the same with second hand books, public telephones, etc, but I'm sure I read somewhere that there's little evidence of infection through paper. Maybe the germs don't live long enough.

    With things like colds you should avoid touching infected people and avoid touching your face.

  2. Just to be on the safe side, seeing as you work in a medical establishment, why don't you start wearing a surgical mask and gloves?

    And post a picture so we can all have a good laugh - I mean have a look at what is bound to become the standard for office fashion in the future...

  3. there goes Brian again with his fashion tips, your imune system is getting "batier" the longer you live so be careful.

    I hate going to the store and seeing all thse people wearing pijamas, it started first with teenage girls but now woman of all ages are walking around Best Buy and other stores wearing P.J.'s.

  4. BRIAN!!!:
    Thanks for that! Now I'll be walking around with alcohol pads wiping everything down before I touch them!
    Well, desperate times calls for desperate measures.

    Thanks lil' brother. I always like to be told how I'm turning into a bat!

  5. I read somewhere that there was a study that tested cold medicines against honey. The result was that people who took a spoonful of honey got better FASTER then the ones you used cold meds! So. Go eat some honey, Honey.

    That and saline spray. Yeck. I hate it but it really helps.

    Feel better soon!

  6. I got an email once that had stats for how many people shake your hand or touch things just after touching their genitals. it was a lot

  7. You know what’s gross??? When people go to the washroom and not wash their hands…

    The washrooms here have now been equipped with motion sensor soap and paper towel dispensers. So you can totally hear when people use soap and of course when the water is running.

    I went in to the ladies room a few minutes ago. There was someone in one of the stalls. While I’m there I hear the toilet flush, then I hear paper towel dispenser go off and the door open! I was like EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Worst of all I don’t know who it was! What if I end up shaking her hand or something?!?!?!

    Then yesterday, another lady and I came out of the stalls at the same time. We walked to the sink, as I’m about to get the soap she opens the faucet puts her fingertips in the water clsoees it then walks out! I was like WTF?? Why did she not wash her hands??? So now I’m paranoid and not only do I open the door with a paper towel like always but I get to my desk and use the antibacterial hand sanitizer thing.

    If they can’t wash their hands can’t they at least fake it for the good of humanity?

  8. Oh yeah and they can put motion sensor things in the washroom but I I better not as for a 0.50 cent phone/shoulder rest that fits my phone! The one I have now is too small and keeps coming off so I have my black phone taped all around… We really truly are the leaders in Technology!

  9. Bex:
    I heard honey and rum works! ;o)

    jean knee:


    I won't be able to touch anything ever again! Maybe that's why those women in the 40s wore gloves all the time.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.