VE tagged me for the 6 word memoir.
I first saw it on FADKOG's blog and played along too. I believe I cheated and used 24 words.
Bored girl looks for electrifying experience.
Electrician looking for funny bad girl.
You may now kiss the bride.
Happily, sometimes with booze, ever after.
This time, I'll stay true to the SIX.
I'm rebellious, outspoken, comical looking, loved.Perfect! (I'm not saying I'm perefect, I'm saying the Six Words are perfect.)(But I am.)
Okay people, you know how I'm always telling you what a GREAT wife I am? How I let Andy play his computer games, video games, talk about comic books, go see all the Sci-Fi movies ever made, listen to all the reasons why STAR WARS COULD BE REAL.
He can pretty much do what he wants, when he wants without me blinking an eye. I mean, who am I to complain? He keeps me in high tech gadgets, awesome shoes, makes my salad, does the dreaded grocery shopping and laundry. He is my gold mine, my fountain of youth and my anchor all rolled in to one neat package of mullet hair.
We have also discussed what an INSANELY jealous person I am, right? Well, remember the wedding I'm dreading? Andy was invited to the bachelor party.
I'm totally trying to be the cool wife by saying encouraging things like "OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!" or "I'LL HIDE OUR CAR KEYS, YOUR WALLET AND DEBIT CARD!"
Nothing too psycho-ish. Normal everyday threats. It doesn't help that Brother Dan is trying to tag along therefore condoning Andy's actions.
I can't help it! I know what goes on at those parties!
At the beginning of our marriage I was more blasé about strippers "Meh! So what? It's not like they can touch 'em!" Now, after gaining 2 to 20 pounds times 1,000, blasé has turned into "Stupid skinny perfect bitches!"
See, I've evolved. I've matured and realized I'm not immortal and now I'm trying to make Andy understand that neither is he!
::SIGH:: He'll probably wind up going because I don't want him to be teased at work. I can take mocking and peer pressure but my Andy is a poor delicate flower that wilts under harsh criticism.
Why do people have to get married anyway?? If they have to do it, can't they just elope. They are seriously making my life more problematic than it needs to be! Maybe I'll forward them the link on "How to Elope In Las Vegas". I can't believe people can be selfish enough to inconvenience the rest of us.
Why is it that every time a man takes a shower he expects praise... and a parade?