[clearing throat] Okay, I just regained my composer.
I have a few things to say today.
FIRST! PLEASE CLICK ON HUMOR-BLOGS FOR ME! PLEASE.
I'd like Dan, Jean Knee, Brian and NCS to be aware that the dreaded ZOMBIES ARE HERE!!
We've run out of places to hide! (Except for Brian, I think he might be safe for a few more months, you know, because he lives somewhere on the other side of Lake Michigan. Zombies can't swim and I doubt they have passports to board a plane.)(I didn't mention Tracy because she'll always be safe. She lives in an unpopulated area, Zombies wouldn't got there just for 5 people.)(They're Zombies, not dummies.)
Time they brought our food, 10:46. I had predicted 10:53.
Speaking of Brian, I'd like to welcome him in joining the rest of us in the whole Daylight Savings State of Comatose-edness.
I don't know what took them so long but it's about freakin' time they join the rest of our barbaric civilization.
It's been 3 weeks and I still have difficulty getting up in the morning. I had a memorial service for all the eyelashes I've lost while prying my eyelids open.
My Andy alarm doesn't care about how annoying it's getting so I have to hear "BEE! It's 6:45! You're going to be late again!"
I'm trying to teach it to sing me The Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun" so that my day starts on a beautiful, positive tune but that, like the fact I can no longer do shot after shot of Tequila while balancing-... never mind, is in my drawer of long ago dead idyllic dreams.
Anyway, tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of the week! (I might not show up to work, think they'll notice I'm gone?)
Brook Shields brushes her teeth like a demented raccoon.