Sunday, March 30, 2008

-American Zombies-The British are catching up-

-89! HOLY CRAP I'M ALMOST AT 100!!!-

[clearing throat] Okay, I just regained my composer.
I have a few things to say today.

FIRST! PLEASE CLICK ON HUMOR-BLOGS FOR ME! PLEASE.

I'd like Dan, Jean Knee, Brian and NCS to be aware that the dreaded ZOMBIES ARE HERE!!
We've run out of places to hide! (Except for Brian, I think he might be safe for a few more months, you know, because he lives somewhere on the other side of Lake Michigan. Zombies can't swim and I doubt they have passports to board a plane.)(I didn't mention Tracy because she'll always be safe. She lives in an unpopulated area, Zombies wouldn't got there just for 5 people.)(They're Zombies, not dummies.)
American Zombie
Anyway, maybe we can organize a trip to go see it? You guys better show up this time! I waited for you at The Egg Factory, no one came so I had to eat my omelet while tasting my salty tears!

Time they brought our food, 10:46. I had predicted 10:53.

Speaking of Brian, I'd like to welcome him in joining the rest of us in the whole Daylight Savings State of Comatose-edness.
I don't know what took them so long but it's about freakin' time they join the rest of our barbaric civilization.

It's been 3 weeks and I still have difficulty getting up in the morning. I had a memorial service for all the eyelashes I've lost while prying my eyelids open.

My Andy alarm doesn't care about how annoying it's getting so I have to hear "BEE! It's 6:45! You're going to be late again!"

I'm trying to teach it to sing me The Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun" so that my day starts on a beautiful, positive tune but that, like the fact I can no longer do shot after shot of Tequila while balancing-... never mind, is in my drawer of long ago dead idyllic dreams.

Anyway, tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of the week! (I might not show up to work, think they'll notice I'm gone?)

P.S.

Brook Shields brushes her teeth like a demented raccoon.

20 comments:

  1. Those zombies live in L.A.
    I bet they stay there. They are more accepting over there.

    Talking about zombies: I watched [REC] last week (that's not the trailer..'cause I love you and don't want to freak you out) It is TEH awesome.

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  2. That film looks good...

    Just how does a demented raccoon brush it's teeth???

    I'm sitting here with the sun streaming through the window. My sleep patterns are so irregular I don't imagine I'll even notice the difference in time.

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  3. I'm so glad that I will be safe from this horrid invasion. Although, I'm worried that one may already be here. Just two days ago I was driving through town and I saw a boy who looked to be about 17 walking on the side of the road with green hair, clothes that were six sized too big, wearing all black and a dog collar around his neck. His eyes were rimmed in black. Does this sound like one?
    Maybe my family should go deeper in to the backwoods.

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  4. DST messes me up for like a month and a half before I adjust.

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  5. I'm hoping those American zombies bypass the midwest. We get no good concerts, we're always behind on trends. I can't fathom why they'd be interested in middle America, other than the fact we're a slow moving breed, so that's to their advantage.

    P.S. Thanks for affirming what I think every time I see Brooke brushing her teeth. Only I often think she's brushing away the evidence of those she's chewed up as they've met an untimely death at the hands of her bicuspids.

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  6. those people looked scart spitless. was that the zombie movie or what? I'm ignorant--I can't speak Spanish

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  7. I haven't seen Brooke Shields brush her teeth but, she was born on the exact same day as me. I may have mentioned this before.

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  8. I woulda joined you for breakfast but I was at the opening day ceremonies for Small Texas Town little league softball,,, yesssss


    then later we had team pictures and the first game.

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  9. I so agree with the whole DST thing. I decided to ignore the time change this year and my boss DID notice when I was late. I showed him my watch and he looked at me as if I were a naughty teenager.

    No sense of humor!

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  10. hey there, new visitor to your blog and enjoying the read through. tons-o-fun.

    stop by and say hi sometime :-)
    rick

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  11. [REC], The trailer.
    When we go see it all together I'll bring the hotdogs and ketchup.

    I didn't know you were going to The Egg Factory.
    Sounds like they make eggs there.

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  12. DTS is pain in the ass for the first few days but its a good idea. I think Ben Franklin came up with it.

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  13. NCS:
    I don't know how you can watch scary movies. ::shiver::
    I do want to see the new one were this chick keeps appearing in a couples pictures.

    Brian:
    A demented raccoon brushes their teeth exactly like Brooke Shields. Exactly like Brooke Shields

    Tracy:
    Ha Ha! An Emo! There was this report of a fight between Emos and Punks. Too funny!

    Fiar:
    I don't adjust until we change our time back in the fall.

    FADKOG:
    Unfortunately for me, I live near Chicago. Those jerks will be here for sure!

    jean knee:
    Woohoo! You're gonna post the pictures right??

    kayfour:
    What does he know! I've always threatened to do that but I never have the courage. Maybe next year.

    PSS:
    'Kay.

    NCS:
    No way. Uh-uh! I saw the comments declaring this movie one of the scariest movies ever!

    Dan:
    BEN FRANKLIN IS DEAD NOW!! Why do we still have to do it?

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  14. I doubt they have passports to board a plane

    Sounds like someone hasn't seen Flight of the Living Dead.

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  15. The Bagel of Everything:
    May I call you TBOE?
    TBOE, you're right, I've never seen that movie and now I'm even more terrified to go on a plane now.
    There's no where to run no where to hide!

    I'm going to my happy place now.

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  16. Shutter: What the Asian version.
    It's way way better than the American version.

    ;)

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  17. Brooke Shields paste commercials make my teeth sad. :(

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  18. Tis better to lose eyelashes while prying your eyes open than to lose pubic hairs while trying to pry your coo......okay, I'll stop there.

    R.I.P Little Bee Hairs

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  19. NCS:
    How? I can't wait to meet you so I can ask you in person... HOW?? How can you watch scary movies? Especially when your hubs travels!

    EWBL:
    HA HA HA! BWAHAHAHAHA! ::snort!::

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.