Monday, March 3, 2008

PSA# 7777 How to negotiate with your spouse.

-Day62. Disclaimer: The following conversation took place prior to my decision to cease all my exclaiming. For the sake of accuracy, I have decided not to remove the exclamation points and leave our exchange exactly as it happened.
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Bee:
Babe, I've been looking on craigslist for a desk but they're all either really crappy and expensive or nice and super expensive. Can't I just get a new one for about $100? It doesn't have to be spectacular.
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Andy:
No.
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Bee:
Geez! I'll pay for half of it!
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Andy:
No.
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Bee:
Uh… okaaay. You know I can just go get it if I want to, right? I mean, you're not the boss of me!
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Andy:
Listen Bee, you're online too much. Now you want a desk to BLOG? I think you're an addict.
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Bee:
You know what? You're right! Maybe we can start spending more time together you and I. Go for long romantic walks. Sit on the sofa and watch chick flix while my head is on your shoulder. Have long discussions about politics, religion, global warming…
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Andy:
Uh…
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Bee:
Maybe I can just put up the banquet table in your dungeon and we can share THAT space. I'll just blog when you're killing Ogres. That way we can talk about our feelings at the same time. We will always be together.
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Andy:
Where do you want to start looking for your desk? IKEA? Office Depot? You'll want a chair too, right?

Some may call this blackmail, I prefer to refer to it as an in depth look into my negotiating skills.

Hasta Lumbago!

21 comments:

  1. A Bee And Her Blogging Chair.....Are NEVER Parted!

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  2. I'm going to design blogging furniture. The chairs will have a built-in toilet so you don't ever have to move.

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  3. I'm sure Andy will buy one too since his "quests" "missions" or whatever usually take hours.

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  4. Cool!! Where did you end up getting it? Does the chair have a name? "Chairry" like in Pee-Wee's Playhouse or maybe just Cherry (you know, red like a cherry)?

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  5. With you practicing your "negotiating" skills on lawyers, poor Andy doesn't stand a chance...

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  6. Dear Bee,
    I'm so proud of you for your success in obtaining your desk and a bonus chair! That is exactly the same method I use to get things that I want from my hubby. My favorite part is when their face changes from secure, manly man, in charge to "Oh shit, I gotta give her what she wants!" Good times.
    Love
    Tracy

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  7. Does everything you buy now have to be red.

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  8. jean knee:
    good.

    Esmeralda:
    Funny. Although I like the way you think, I don't think I could name something I sit on. ;op
    I was going to ask why in hells bells you were up so late but then I heard on the radio that you turkeys are off today.

    Brian:
    You say that likes a bad thing...

    Tracy:
    He spends more time on the computer than I do and I never give him grief, I think he realized who would lose in the deal.

    Dan:
    We went to Office Depot. I was planning on getting the first inexpensive chair I would find it just so happened to be red.

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  9. I would call it more of an obsession.

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  10. The best thing to do is find a really good desk on Craigslist for more than you can afford, show up at the transaction with a gun, and steal the desk.

    Prison isn't so bad.

    Poke

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  11. The opinions and actions expressed by Poke are not my own. I don't own a gun and anyway my fists are the only lethal weapons I will ever need.
    As you were.

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  12. HA!! When will they ever learn?

    I have desk issues too...My desk is pretty but uncomfortable. And the comfortable ones are all fugly...It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

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  13. I only caved in after I realized your time spent away from blogging would also mean less time for me in World of Warcraft.

    So in the end I think we both came out winners :)

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  14. My husband said I could have a lap desk, but I thought he said he wanted a lap dance, and I told 'Whoa, just simmer down, mister!'

    But I didn't get off the compute to tell him that. I just looked over the monitor. For like a second.

    Stil, all I have is a lap desk. It envys your desk.

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  15. somegirl:
    Conspiracy theoristsss unite. Have we been watching too much Lost? ;o)

    Andy:
    Babe, you played into my manicured hands. Next up printer/scanner.

    FADKOG:
    Maybe for a lapdance he would have given you a desk. Just a thought.

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  16. Just to watch my sister give Andy a lap dance... I WOULD BUY HER THE SCANNER!!!! Settle down there... I mean, fully clothed... I just think it would be the funniest thing since watching Juan Gabriel fall off the stage.

    Ha, ha!! (Simpson's bully)

    SC

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  17. SC:
    Listen bud, you can't even take it when I give him kiss on the cheek. You guys are always all "Ewwww gross. Big sister is kissing her husband. Eww cooties."

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.