-Day 90-
I have to come clean and tell you guys I'm an evil genius!
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Last night, my warden went to bed before I did. If you're new to the crazy dynamics of our relationship, please know this was an unusual occurrence. His normal routine is to harass me until I give up and go to bed in a huff. Usually around 10:30.
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I thought I'd be a bad ass and stay up really late. Unfortunately, my old bones got tired at about 1:00 am.
I got my stiff butt out of my chair and got ready for bed.
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Andy had already been snoring for a couple of hours so I knew he was in one of his deep people-can-rollerblade-on-his-head sleeps.
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My beloved sweet little monkey was taking up the whole bed... AGAIN!
I was able to shove lovingly move him to his side of the bed but his arm had a mind of it's own! It was like a crazy reenactment of Evil Dead II, you know, where the hand tries to kill the dude?
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I was beginning to get a leetle beet irritated when he said (while still asleep).
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Andy:
What are they saying?
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It really creeps me out when people talk in their sleep, it kinda gives me a they're possessed type of vibe but I decided to try to use this to my advantage.
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Bee:
They're saying you should move your arm.
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Andy:
I should move it?
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Bee:
Yeah, they said if you don't, they'll take it.
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Andy:
They'll take it?
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He moved his arm and stayed on his side of the bed the whole night!
Betty and Wilma were on to something! (remember when they told their hubs to buy them fur coats and diamonds while they were sleeping?)
I was afraid the trauma of somebody taking his arm would be something he'd remember today but... [shoulder shrug] he has no idea. Shhh. Don't tell him.
Although, maybe I should be a little concerned in case I might have caused a repressed memory that would be triggered at an unexpected time? Like when he's ordering lunch at Subway.
Oh well!
P.S.
As a favor to Andy, click on Humor-Blogs.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, primeiro.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Nancys' story with the gold chains?
SC
Now you need to learn to hypnotise people when they're awake. You could plant all sorts of suggestions into the bats.
ReplyDeleteFor example, you could stop them liking cake. Or make your desk a no-go area. The great thing is they'd avoid your desk without realising they were doing it.
People talking in their sleep freaks me out too. A few years ago, Caroline was sick and running a fever so I slept in her room with her. Around 2am I woke up to her saying "Go on, get out" When I asked her who she was talking to she said "Tell that old lady to get out of my room." It creeped me out so much that I grabbed her and moved us both into my room.
ReplyDeleteShe didn't remember anything the next day. I did...ugh...
I need to file these amazing mind powers away and use them soon. Trouble is, my husband snores so loudly, I simply get irritated too fast. Thus, my downfall!
ReplyDeletethis also works. plug his nose while he's snoring. He'll wake up go WTF and you say you were dreaming, roll over.
ReplyDeleteAvodrock:
ReplyDeleteNuh-uh! I'm not telling that story because she'll take away my baby privelages.
Brian:
That would be my dream! Can you imagine them walking near my desk but stopping 3 feet away as if they just bumped into an invisible force field!
Tracy:
If I haven't told you what a chicken I am when it comes to scary stories, let me tell you right now.
That comment gave me the willies! And not in a good way!
FADKOG:
It wokrs but don't get too cocky, that how Betty and Wilma got caught.
jean knee:
You are also an evil genius. No wonder I like you so much!
I wish that would work with my husband. He sleeps like the dead. If the dead were to snore.
ReplyDeleteMy wife makes me wear....hum, I mean, I'm so considerate that I wear I mouth piece to bed that makes me sleep with my jaw slightly forward and has a hole so that I can also breath thru my mouth to reduce snoring. It costs about 65 bucks, if anyone is intersted let me know and I'll dig up the website.
ReplyDeleteI usually build up a sound barrier made entirely out of pillows to drown out Papi's snoring.....that's IF he goes to sleep before me. If I go to sleep first , then he has to deal with my snoring. Sucka!
ReplyDeleteMy not-even-4-years-old fridge broke today. It's just out of warranty and we've had the compressor replaced on it twice already.
ReplyDeletePiece.of.Crap. :(
I spent hard-earned money and time today in a panic to buy a new fridge before we lost several hundred dollars worth of food on top of everything else.
I'll tolerate Papi's snoring because he got a 2,000 pound fridge into the house practically by himself.
I talk in my sleep, too.
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to barge into my room as a teenager to accuse me of talking on the phone in the middle of the night but I was really just talking to myself while asleep.
Papi says I fart while I'm asleep and then I laugh.
I, ummmmm, do that while I'm awake, too.
sometimes i like to pinch my hubby's arm ever so much till he moves. sometimes however, he cries out in pain, but i of course act like he has woken me up and assure him he must have had a nightmare...hehehe
ReplyDeleteMarie:
ReplyDeleteYou should try it anyway, you might pleasantly surprised! ;op
Dan:
Umm... maybe she makes you wear so she can laugh at you looking like a goofball?
EWBL:
:o( Stupid fridges! My won't give me water that doesn't taste like blood uh... metal.
April:
Funny cuz I'll wind up with an elbow in the face and Andy is always all "What? i didn't do it on purpose!" Now I know better!
You know what would be horrible? If a sleep talker suddenly opened his/her eyes and just stared at you. That's be so scary.
ReplyDeleteOr: Bee saying she's quitting.
ReplyDeleteNOT FUNNY >:(
Oh please, you an evil genius?
ReplyDeleteWho is the one that thought of usurping the comment section of this post to leave you an anonymous heckling for the April Fool's post!
Ha!
That's right so take *that* you wannabe evil genius. Oh, and I blocked my IP addy too, so good luck figuring out who I am.
Honestly.
Evil genius?
Pffft.
:)