Thursday night I went to bed and obsessed about the fact that my post hadn't been very imaginative.
I thought "Dang it!" (I'm back to exclaiming but I'm going to stop swearing, I'm practicing for a super duper trip I'm taking this summer so my potty mouth will be censored to see how long I can go.) (Any guesses how long it will take before I blow it? I mean, I'll probably still swear in my head but not out loud. Andy can be the narc.) (Don't you wonder why I bother with the parenthesis? Me too) "I have about 300 more days to go!"
Anyway, as I was struggling to breathe, TRAPPED in the teaspoon position while the tablespoon snored, my brain in between sleep and awakedness*, I finally solved The Bermuda Triangle mystery!
I did! I figured it out! My next thought was "Oh, I hope I remember tomorrow..." Lately, I've been having great ideas for posts but then I forget them as soon as I blink. They ebb outta my hard head that quickly. Here's an example:
Great Idea. Blink. G o n e.
See? What the heck happens?
Back to The Bermuda Triangle.
I decided to slowly and quietly gnaw off Andy's arm so that I could write down my thoughts and not forget.
This morning I woke up, excited to read my epiphinical* musings! I thought "I'll be famous! My name will be in history books and Natalia's grandchildren will say 'She was my great-aunt, NAY! Awesome Aunt!'."
I looked at what I wrote and this is what I saw:
bermut treangle magnet cargo shit mass whirlpool no surviving burps
Either I was:
A) Asleep and dreaming I was awake.
B) Awake and high.
C) My subconscious was abducted by aliens and/or the government to keep quiet and they are the ones orchestrating the weirdness that goes on in that area of the world for their own selfish needs such as Pineapple hoarding and transportation of a new breed of dogs that walk on their hind legs and clean up their own poop and they removed the truth and left me with gibberish.
Oh well, maybe next time.
If you do solve the Bermuda Triangle mystery, look for all my ideas, they might be hidden under a couch that disappeared in 1953. Try the corner near Puerto Rico.
*I know it's not a word but I have an illness. It's called butcheritis- A habit of butchering both the English and Spanish languages.