-Day 15. Life is uncertain; eat dessert first. -Nancy Bukauskas
Husband to wife.
"Give me a hug, my little chunky monkey!"
Bad! Bad husband!
I don't object to "monkey", who wouldn't want to be a limber little trouble maker, it's the "chunky" part that makes me want to throw feces.
On a completely UNRELATED subject, I gained 4 pounds from October to now!
FIRST!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCHEATER!!!
ReplyDeleteFunky Monkey, maybe.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to avoid weight gains is not to weigh yourself. At least that's my strategy. Incidentally, I've noticed that they're making clothes smaller these days ;-)
I can gain 4 pounds over a weekend.
ReplyDeleteGuess what, I started a new medicine which has bed wetting as a possible side effect.
Brian:
ReplyDeleteYES!! That's what it is! They must have come to my closet and shrunk my clothes! Those bastards!
Jean Knee:
I'm very... excited for you??
To be honest if it were a choice between bed wetting and gaining wait... I'd go buy a plastic guard for my bed.
I agree with Brian, I stopped weighing myself years ago and I haven't gained a pound!
ReplyDeleteOne time my husband affectionately called me Chubs. I won't say that I freaked out per sey, but he hasn't called me that since!
Men are just so clueless to these things.
I find it offensive that you are complaining about a measly 4 lbs, when there are people out there in this world who are struggling with true issues with obesity.
ReplyDeleteI myself gained 32 lbs from these past holidays and am confined to my home eating cheetos, twinkies, taco bell grande, diet pop, and spend my time critisizing peoples blogs.
If you feel the need to quote me as you did on your Dec 31st post, please do so, it only feeds my ego, and as you can see, I have a huge appetite.
And yes, I did spell critisizing with an "S".
Tracy:
ReplyDeleteChubs??? Had he just met you or did he think to put on a jock strap before he said it?
Jean Knee:
ReplyDeleteI have an over-the-counter medicine here for colds that quotes:
"raised blood pressure, insomnia, restlessness, tremor, anxiety, urinary retention and hallucinations."
If you take this as well, maybe the urinary retention will cancel out the incontinence. The insomnia should help that too.
And you might get an interesting trip out of it...
Anon:
ReplyDeleteNow you're just yanking my chain!
Keep up the good work on the weight gain!
At that rate, in 10 years you should be ready for the truck weighing station.
OMG. I hope you slapped him. I like Andy, but that was a bad one ;-)
ReplyDeleteChris:
ReplyDeleteNah, I hugged him.
Then I blogged about it! ;op
Aside from the companionship and the huggin' and lovin' and the monkey stuff, I think this blogging thing is the real reason we keep our spouses and partners in our lives. When my husband does talk, half the time it's blog topic gold. Or gold plated. I don't want to give him too much credit.
ReplyDeleteThis post coming from someone who's favorite term of endearment was taken from Red on That 70's Show.
ReplyDelete"DUMBASS!!!!"
Thats what he ( & she ) says, not what I'm sayin.
But baby, I'm not insulting you, per say, I'm just sayin' that your booty is not that bright.
ReplyDeleteI maintain a strict diet of 1/2 pound of sharp cheddar cheese a day: that way everything hurled over 81 MPH makes cool sparks on impact.
ReplyDeleteandy
ReplyDeleteshe got that from Beavis and Butthead.
Dan
That's nothing. I gained 4 pounds just reading your blog today.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to the kitchen for a little sumthin sumthin.
ReplyDeleteAnyone else hungry?
What he should have said is: "Give me a hug, my little fluffy monkey!"
ReplyDeleteSee?
FADKOG:
ReplyDeleteI sometimes "whisper loudly" at him because he hasn't given me anything good I could use. :o)
LOBO:
EXACTLY!
Dan:
Really? I've been saying it that long?
EWBL:
Special Nachos please.
NCS:
Yes, I like "fluffy" makes me feel lighter than air...
I used to call her "turtle poop," but then once around Halloween one year I was gonna call her "pumpkin" but I got in my old rut and what came out was "pumpkin turd," so I've been calling her that for a few years. I don't know WHAT she calls me when I'm not around.
ReplyDeleteFrogster:
ReplyDeleteI can see why she fell in love with you if you wooed her with such heart felt terms of endearment. Chunky Monkey isn't sounding so bad now...