Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Kids these days.

-Day 8. Today is a sane day.
I ate a mango and watched the lightening illuminate my dead garden. I saw the fairies taunting me while they danced in the rain. The tall one seems to be their leader. Did I say it was a sane day?-

So... I have the honor of watching Natalia this week, she came with me for a half day of work on Monday (insisted on a paycheck) and I've realized I'm no match for a 4 year old, excuse me- 4 AND A HALF year old.
We came home, did the usual lunch thing of chicken nuggets and apple juice but she wanted to watch Shrek 3 (the things I do for that child) while she ate. She kept singing something I thought was "Barracuda" but... Nah! It couldn't be! Low and behold... what is the song the princesses are singing when they help free the kingdom?
If you guessed "Barracuda" by Heart, you win the Dust Bunny prize. To say I was surprised this song was a part of a child's movie is putting it mildly. Picture me sitting on a high stool (looking beautiful of course) (in my bleached out AC/DC T-shirt and tattered sweatpants) (blue not purple) trying to keep my balance as Snow White started screeching AAH-AAAh AAAAAAA-AH!! Barracuda???Seriously????
She took a nap and when she got up wanted to watch Noggin.
They sang a song that went like this: "Winter wonderland blah blah blah if your friends throw you a snowball respond Quid Pro Quo".
They said "Quid Pro Quo"! On a channel for small children!!
Why am I upset? Because if the little one would have heard this (luckily she was playing her piano) she would have asked me what that meant.

It's not that I don't know what that means, it's just that I don't know when to stop on definitions/explanations. They can go an on, which can lead to more questions which may end up in me calling my sister to say "Sorry Nancy, Natalia now thinks we never actually landed on the moon. I don't know where she gets these conspiracy theories..."
Child interaction is hard.
I was talking to my SIL Esmeralda, who is a 5th grade public school teacher (IN THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO), and she told me something disturbing.
She asked her class to write down some New Year resolutions and two little girls wrote down "to lose weight"... WTF!!
These little girls are 10. TEN!
At 10 I was... uh... I don't remember but I'm damn sure I wasn't thinking about my weight! Why are kids growing up so quickly? It's scary what insecurities they're having before they've even hit puberty! ::sad sigh::
People that deal with kids (parents, teachers) have my respect, I have no idea how I would handle a situation like that.
No. Idea.
Anyway, here is Natalia as Andy's biggest fan. I gave him Guitar Hero III for Christmas.
She currently likes country music cuz her daddy's from Texas but we'll get her to rock out to Metallica, Nirvana and Guns and Roses! BWAHAHAHA!!
If you're thinking you should keep your kids away from my psycho-ness, I say good idea.
Quick shout out to mother-freakin'-nature! Thanks for giving us the double flip off by having us on flood watch! No rain please, send us snow!! (bitch)
Don't know the Barracuda song I'm referring to? Click below.


  1. are the fairies hot? cus im there! another oldie but goodie? the song i mean. flood watch 2008 begins early. did i tell you i got rock band?

  2. Where've you been? You better be clicking for me!! Yeah you told me about Rock Band... sooooo??:op

  3. ive been clicking but your like 272 or somethin silly. why? i checked out some other blogs and theyve got less clicks! i was going to leave a comment on the shitty review but i thought id over do it and get you in trouble.

  4. Sorry for posting a serious comment, but:

    I don't think kids are growing up faster, they just have a different environment. People are obsessed with dieting, and kids pick that up. The adult's mania for it is no less worrying than the 10 year olds'. At least they've got the excuse that they don't know any better.

  5. My favorite musical part from that flick is when the girl in the woods summoned all of the forest creatures to her and then broke into LZ's "Immigrant Song" and attacked the evil tree things. Keep it up, Bee.

  6. I love all those Shrek movies. I let Lean watch them too. bad parenting? whatever, at least I know if she grows up to be a princess she can still kick some mass.

    remember that weirdo stalker asked you if you like the Shrek movies, freak

  7. Papi says that girls are growing up too fast because of all the growth hormones in chciken and dairy.

    Eat a chicken boob and you'll grow chicken boobs all by the age of 5.

  8. There's a Heart song that tops my "Worst Freakin Song Of All Time And Eternity" list.

    All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

    I seriously about vomit up my own lungs when she says that "we walked through a garden and planted a tree." Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. And the fact that she's screwing some STD-riddled haggard hitchhiker that she picks up on the side of the road in hopes of getting pregnant is beyond yucky too.

  9. And now I'm going to be humming Magic Man for the rest of the day.

    I hope you're proud of yourself now, Bee.

    Why the freak are you 272??!!??

  10. I taught a five year boy and girl-separate years, that both would not eat lunch because they didn't want to be fat like their mamas.

    the boy was so thin it was worrisome. I told the mom about it and she said he just wasn't hungry????

  11. you don't know for sure the hitch hiker had an STD.. He could memrely have been a psycho murderer who collects pinkie fingers

  12. Bee!!! Brian's speaking Greek again. get over there

  13. Welcome to my world Dear Bee! My kids have been singing Baracuda for months now.
    And if you think that song was bad you should hear the morning song that exclaims that we should all go use the TOILET. Good stuff.
    Also, I was very excited to see that you used one of my comments in your testy-moan-ys! I meant that in the most loving of ways of course!

  14. Just checking in to make sure Natalia doesn't have you hog tied. Bee.....you okay?

  15. That's my girl :)

    I'm a very proud Mama!

    I was going to ask you if you know that song and I kept forgeting!

  16. I'm a little disappointed that no-one metioned Andy's On Fire Superman PJs!
    Now I'm going to sleep.

  17. AH MAN!
    I came just to mention the smokin' hot SUPERMAN pants Andy is wearing.

    I noticed and mentioned...representin'. Double points for me!!!


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