Monday, January 21, 2008

Blinding you with my interpretation of science...

-Day 21. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

It's still cold here in the best city on Earth and it's neighboring planets.

Because of the cold, I had one of the coolest experiences of my life. This will give you an insight on how sad my life really is. No, this is not a cry for help nor am I feeling sorry for myself. I'm just sayin' my life isn't as cool as say... Joan Jett's. I saw her on TV recently and she still rocks! If I could pull off the straight, spiky (spikey? I dunno, you know I suck at spelling) black hair I would cut my hair like her in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I'd wind up looking like a Gothic Troll.

Oh well, there goes another dream! Don't worry, I'm getting to my story.

We're keeping our water bottles in our unheated back porch since it's colder than the fridge. I went to grab a bottle and to my surprise, it froze as soon as I touched it.

When I told Andy, he didn't believe me and thought I was doing some sort of magic trick. Seriously magic?? Maybe I do have powers... I mean, we all agree I'm cool right? Being so cool I turn water to ice wouldn't be too far fetched.
I was so amazed, I proceeded to use my freezing powers on every single bottle left in the pack. If I grabbed them by the lid nothing happened, it wasn't until I touched the bottle that it started freezing. My hands are a little frost bitten but it was totally worth it!

Click below so you can see my home made video of this awesome phenomenon. If someone complains about my movie making capabilities (Brian!!), I'll hunt you down and let Tazz the Ferocious either sit on you or bite you. Believe me when I say neither one would be pleasant!

By the way, I'm auctioning one Husband, Semi-Used. He is irritating the hell out of me right now because he's making fun of the fact that I'm afraid of black holes. Uhm! Hello??? Who the hell isn't??

Now he's asking me if I ever went on Match-dot-com to see who they would pair me with! I told him "No! Chances are my soul mate is waiting for me and instead I'm sitting here being harassed for fearing something with a gravitational field so powerful there would be no escape and we'd all die!"

He does laundry, grocery shopping and gives lots of hugs. He's potty trained and will sometimes pick up after himself. I'll start the bid at $500,000 (I know it seems high but I'd have to get another one so...)


  1. Science Lesson:

    I don't really understand this, but it's to do with the Triple Point.

    This is some weird property that water has where it can be solid, liquid and gas all at the same temperature.

    Bee Bergman:

    If you're looking for acting talent for your next blockbuster, give my agent Jean Knee a call.

    Husband Auction:

    I don't think you've fully grasped how the economics of marriage works. It's the women that are expensive...

  2. Dear Bee, (FYI: I've decided to start all of my comments like letters. I feel it's more personal this way)
    Before I forget, I did the Meme thing and it only confirmed what I always knew, I rock.
    The bottle thing was strange. I've never seen anything like that before. Maybe you truly are magical. I say embrace your powers!
    As for the husband auction, I'm not so much interested in yours as I am interested in auctioning mine. Did you use Christies or Sotheby's? Please do let me know.


  3. next time take off the label on the bottel, I need to better see the glory of your magic.
    The price on Andy is kind off low, he makes good money so you should consider all this earning potential.

  4. Brian:

    Creature from the deep:
    I'll keep that in mind if I make a scary movie.


    Dear Tracy:
    Christies & Sotheby's wanted to big of a cut so I went to the nearest pig auctioneer I could find...
    Warmest regards,

    If I were to remove the label I would touch the bottle therefore creating the magic without meaning to.
    You're right! I'll start at $2,000,000

  5. Magic! Maybe you should just freeze your husband and hold onto him for a few years until science develops the ways to train him further into perfection. You'll get a little break until then, but you'd still have him (and his disability check.)

  6. Bee,

    I would like to place a bid on Andy... at 2 million, he would work at CPC for about 20 years doing all that electrical work... then once he's paid his keep, I would auction him off at half price...

    Dan, removing the label would be like opening the curtains while the statue of liberty is dissapearing half way through its process... sometimes you just have to let things be"e".

    That video is so cool, I would like to steal it and put it on can I please?


  7. Oh, and I couldn't find it listed, but I think a name for fear of black holes might be: melaneopephobia.

  8. Joan Jett kicks it with Carmen Electra. Is that what you really want, Bee. Really??!!?

  9. I'm glad that I'm a chick. I leave the black hole stuff up to Papi. :)

    So far, he's never fallen in.

  10. I used my mom's computer last year to check my e-mail and I nosed around a little and found her thing she filled out for Great Expectations online dating.

    I was perturbed.....until I realized it is a step up from the Indiana convicts she's been importing to Texas.

  11. You know what confuses me? Worm holes. Worm holes and this triple point deal.

    This magic rocks. I think you should look Joan Jett up, show her and then see what happens. Not that you're looking for the lady love. Just maybe a cool rock anthem.

    What about swaps on the husband thing? Of course, in asking this, I realize it possibly changes the course of conversation, and thus, I should depart now...

  12. Deb:
    Brilliant! Added benefit, he might gain value if he's preserved in mint condition!

    Okay, cash only.

    "I love rock and roll!"
    Mom's gotta love 'em!

    There's a show on TV that they're trying to get to watch called 2012 the day the earth died or something...!!!!

    Regarding husband swaping, I dunno I don't even like sharing Andy's soda.

  13. Man your powers of coldness are amazing. Please never touch me.

    Joan Jett still rocks, girl I saw her in a magazine recently and she looked bad ashed.

    I saw her in concert in 1983 at an amusement park and she winked at me. She coulda had 17 year old me instead of skanky Carmen Electra. except I'm not gay and didn't even know about girl love back then, still..

  14. That video is really cool but I agree with Dan we should be able to see more.
    Does Andy fear for his delicate area?
    ANDY RUN!!


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