Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Sugar n' spice and everything nice...

-Day 9. My brain is too tired to have any delusions. Nope! Nothing but sane thoughts. I think I'll pay the bills while I'm still able to add and subtract.-
Well, I watched niece Natalia again.
I'm exhausted.
I made waffles, drove her to school, ran errands, cleaned the house, picked her up, fed her again, cooked dinner, made a fool out of myself trying to play Guitar Hero III. They kept booing me off the stage! Bastards.
Anyway, the question of the day, from the 4 AND A HALF year old, was "what did people do before bathrooms were invented?"
I went on to explain about outhouses and holes in the ground and all that crappola. My fear was she was going to ask me what people did before toilet paper, luckily, she just nodded as if everything made total sense.
I wanted to cover my butt in case she asked another bathroom related question like "who invented it" or "who had the first one" and came upon these pictures doing my research.
This one would scare the... well, you know.

I don't think I could over go in this one. EVER!
Hmmmmm... I keep picturing this one in a brothel for some reason. Not that I've ever been to one.
What would we do without the Internet? Our life would be lacking in weirdness.
Carry on.


  1. It's always good to be FIRST to use the facilities ;-)

    Unfortunately, toilet design tends to concentrate more on the external appearance and less on the ability to adequately shift, well, you know...

    At least in this country that's the case. The Japanese lead the world in flushing efficiency.

  2. I had no idea that people put so much thought into the toilet's appearance. Interesting.
    I also think that your "brothel" one would go well in strip clubs too.

  3. Wow, I would love to see what the urinal designs are, Famous peoples faces ? Politicians you don't like ?

  4. Bless you, sweet baby Inernet, for the freakiness and the overabundance of nekkid pictures and celebrity whack outs.

    I see these freaky toilets and just think what a pain in the ass they'd be to clean. Not cool. And scary. Yeah, those are scary.

  5. yay guitar Herro lll, boo on booing.

    One time my sister and I were singing karaoke at some bar and they turned the microphone off on us. It was some song by ac/dc can't remember which one.

    I know in my heart you weren't that bad

  6. Elastic Is High And DryJanuary 9, 2008 at 9:20 AM

    I've only sung karaoke once. It was Brandy You're A Fine Girl. It was at a sports bar. I was drunk....and woefully underage. It ended badly. Very badly.

    I still love that song, though. :) I always thought that a good alcoholic should name his kids Ginny, Brandy, Sherry and Jack Daniel.

  7. Buy Lastic A New Potty FundraiserJanuary 9, 2008 at 9:22 AM

    My toilet is losing some of the sealing around the base. It moves when I move. When my bowel moves, to be exact.

  8. I Learned About It Through Porn My Dad Left OutJanuary 9, 2008 at 9:23 AM

    Wait until Natalie asks about how babies are made. That one is tons of fun to answer.

  9. I Wiped The Floor With PollyannaJanuary 9, 2008 at 9:24 AM

    That should have read
    I learned about "that" from porn my dad left laying around.

    I had a charmed childhood. :)

  10. Natalia already asked that question!!!

    I had to explain to her that God had come and planted a seed in my tummy.

    Then she was upset because she wanted to SEE God. I had to tell her that it happened at night when I was sleeping. Then she was upset because she wasn’t awake.

    That was a hard one... I'm am very HAPPY she dinid't askt Tia Bee, THEN we would ahve been in trouble!!!

    Thankfully she already has a theory as to how the baby comes out and I don’t have to explain that one.

  11. Brian:
    We didn't have issues with the "shifting" until they decided to make new low-flush toilets. Which doesn;t make sense cuz some people (who shall remain nameless) need to flush to or 3 times.

    You're right! Not that I've ever been to a strip club! ;o)

    That to me is even more diturbing...

    The scariest one for me is the first one. Talk about bite you on the ass! ::shiver!::

    jean knee:
    They were obviously ninny-muggins cuz there is no way one can mess up an AC/DC song. No way.

    I too did Karoke one I was, for lack of a better term, OUT OF MY MIND. I wish I oould remember if I had fun or not.
    Make sure your hub fixes the toilet, we wouldn't want you falling off it and hurting vital organs.

    I would simply say the following:
    "You see this shoe catalog? The principals are the same, you pick which one you want, order it and it takes 9 months for delivery."
    I think I handled that pretty well!

  12. where can i get the boobs/legs one? is there a website? we need answers!

  13. That last one looks like a woman, but it's missing something. Damn, what is it? Think, man, think!

  14. Bee the bat minderJanuary 9, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    I've got my whip out and am minding bats today!!

  15. Whats the link field for when you choose a nickname?

  16. LMAO.

    Wow!!! Now, those are some pretty unique toilets!!! I didn't realize you had a 3 bathrooms in your house! Sweet!


  17. When I'm bored I walk around in dinosaur shoes.

  18. BD:
    Keep at it I'm not giving up! You have a life, I can do this forever!! :op

  19. Funny how your blog is closed to the public so not everybody can see how you're being schooled!

  20. The more comments you leave the better I feel. Try to get me to 50 will ya! ;o)

  21. I'm a secret fan of all lawyers. I think they should rule the world alongside Big Dad!

  22. Well, I am. I'm glad that's all out in the open!

  23. My neice beat me at checkers. Boy am I glad I came to work today!
    Red shoes are awesome! :O)

  24. Bee, President of Brad Pitt Hate ClubJanuary 9, 2008 at 3:33 PM

    Brad Pitt is so ugly! What do women see in him??

  25. I've seen monkey's butts cuter than him.

  26. Thank you for giving me my post for tomorrow! SUCKA!! ;op

  27. So, BD why is your blog closed to the public???hmmmm??

    scared people will find out you're a youngster??? we could tell

  28. BTW, she does beat me at checkers... so?

  29. it's so funny when children try to spell my name but their education hasn't gone far enough yet so they can't

  30. Yeah! He likes to pick on short people!

  31. jean knee, tune in tomorrow to see what his punishment for being a nuisance is! It'll be good!

  32. I was going to comment on how scared I'm now that I've seen those toilets.
    But then I was distracted by all the new commenters on your blog.

    There's so much going on today! Feels like I could take a nap.
    or not.

  33. What's all these about bat wrestling? Is there jam involved?

    I know Jean Knee has some at her place.
    Jam that is.

  34. Nancy, how does she think the baby gets out? My Lean keeps asking how the baby comes out, I told her the Dr. takes it out and that held her for awhile. she's never asked how a baby gets in there

  35. I'm still thinking about the waffles. You are the coolest. Waffles rock!

  36. Crusty Commode CandyJanuary 9, 2008 at 9:29 PM

    I once wrote my own "I Have A Dream" speech.

    Yes, I did.

    I have a dream to furnish my entire home with the luxury of shiny porcelain bidet toilets. For Dog as my witness, I do hereby solemnly swear that I never want to make my hands impure with the task of arse wiping again.



Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.