Mercury Falls
In full disclosure, I received this book for free from Rob Kroese. This in no way shape or form alters what I would say about the book because I have also been giving free paella and I've never felt the need to lie and say I liked it when in fact it made me want to rip my tongue out of my mouth and then jackhammer it into oblivion. It still makes me shiver!
Anyway, here we go:
Rob, I was pleasantly surprised to find I really liked your book. Not to say I doubted your talent but I honestly didn't know what to expect.
I've read around the Internet where people are comparing your book to Kevin Smith's Dogma but, while the subject matter is similar, I have to say that the dialogue reminded me more of the Princes Bride (book and movie). That is not an insult by the way because I love the Princess Bride (book and movie). The back and forth between the character was always entertaining.
Since I am no more a book reviewer than I am an interviewer, I decided to simply say that you wrote a great book and people should go buy it here:
Amazon-Mercury Falls
I do have a few questions I'd like to ask you if you don't mind. Also, please answer my questions with a British accent because, like I've said before, you sound like Hugh Laurie in my head.
Q:
Your book opens with one of the main characters reporting on doomsday cults, basically ridiculing their whole philosophy and shining a light on their hypocrisy, were you giggling as you wrote each sentence?
The funny thing about that opening scene is that it was about the last thing I wrote. I had the whole book done and then I realized I needed a better opening scene to introduce the main character, Christine, and explain why she's so burned out with her job. And while that chapter is one of my favorite parts of the book, I didn't actually giggle through it. I did, however, laugh maniacally through the whole "history of apocalypse-related linoleum shortages" in the beginning. It's probably nowhere near as funny as I thought it was, but that was one part where I really did laugh out loud while I was writing it.
By the way, I take the comparison to The Princess Bride as a big compliment. The movie has some wonderful dialog. I haven't read the book, but it's one of my wife's favorites.
Q:
I'm sure a lot of people have asked you this question, what made you pick The Apocalypse as the topic for your book? And answering 'a bad burrito' is not an option.
The book really started with the idea of Mercury, this angel who is basically a good guy but has no interest in doing what he's been told to. I wanted to get Mercury in a lot of trouble with his superiors, and I figured the best way to do that would be to give him some kind of really important job that he doesn't want to do. And what's more important than the apocalypse?
So Mercury is supposed to be helping out with the apocalypse, but he's just not interested. He's a little like Ron Livingston's character in "Office Space." He doesn't want to do his job, but he doesn't really want to quit either. So he plays ping-pong.
Q:
While I am a reasonably intelligent chick (most days), do you feel your book was written in a manner that can only be enjoyed by people with superior brain power?
Nah, plenty of stupid people have told me they love the book.
Actually, my wife told me I use "too many big words" too, but hey, if I'm going to entertain you, then by golly, I'm gonna learn you something too. Anyway, you can just skip the big words and philosophical tangents. Basically it's an adventure story with a lot of explosions.
Q:
There was a blogger, and I apologize for not remembering who, that reviewed your book and stated he enjoyed it but he also commented that the one drawback was the cover illustration and then he used a fancy word for *font spacing*. I personally do not have a problem with it because I once did an experiment where I bought 5 random books based solely on the cover (a post for another day) and my conclusions were all over the place, is there something you'd like to clear up/explain/shrug and say 'stuff it!' here?
Yeah, that was Dave from Blogography. I was actually thrilled that he liked the book, because he's not the sort of person to give you a good review to soothe your ego.
As for his comments on the cover, well, he's a graphic designer and I'm not. I bow to his expertise. :)
[This is Bee, I just checked out Dave's site, Blogography and he does have mad skills! (do kids still say that?)]
Q:
When your book is made into a movie, can I be cast as Christine? You describe her as having odd features that don't really belong together but for some reason make her face fascinating, do I or do I not look exactly like the image of Christine in your head?:
I see you more as Katie Midford, the mysterious author of the best selling (and possibly demon-inspired) Charlie Nyx books. I believe she is described as "middle-aged but not unattractive."
Q:
Along the same lines of the above question, when the movie comes out and the producers tell you that they require you to use this song as the background music for a scene, in what sequence of events would you place this hcrappy, why-on-earth-is-this-playing-on-my-radio, song?
I love that song. It's like Death Cab for Cutie meets They Might Be Giants. I'd like that song to be played at low volume, almost subliminally, throughout the whole movie.
Q:
When my husband gave me a dog for our 5th anniversary, I had a witch of a time finding a name for her and finally went with a suggestion from my sister. That's why I was so amazed you came up with all those angel names! Can you tell us what you used for inspiration? And answering 'tequila' is not an option (but it is an adventure).
For a few of them, I Googled "angel names" and picked ones that sounded good. I made up "Ederatz" and "Izbazel." Another one, Bamrud, was named after a friend of my wife's.
My favorite character, by the way, is Perpetiel ("Perp" for short). He's such a helpful little runt.
Q:
Would you think less of me if I told you I can't say the word Apocalypse unless I'm look at it? And by *it* I mean the word, not the actual event. It always comes out like this: wait, let me close my eyes. . . Apclopyse, Acopolypse, Rutabaga!
Rutabaga was actually the original name of the book of Revelation in the Bible. A secret organization named Opus Vegi made the Church change it in the 4th century A.D. So you're good.
And to end the interview:
Q:
What would you say distinguishes you and your book from other authors who are mass producing vampire books (besides the lack of vampires, better writing, better story plot, better characters and self respect?)?
Lack of success?
Seriously, I can't be too hard on those writers. It's just too bad that the publishing industry has gotten to the point where unless your book fits the current bestseller mold, you can't get any interest. I wrote the sort of book that I would want to read, and if other people want to read it to, that's fantastic. But if not, at least I've written a book I'm proud of.
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You can google angel names? Who knew?
Rob Kroese, ladies and gentlemen! Go buy his book!
(yes, those are Andy's hands but he didn't know what I was up to so he's free of sin)
, I make an attempt to adjust my lifestyle. 
Tuesday morning was my first day testing this *bar of soap experiment* since my body wash had officially run out. I chose Irish Spring as my soap because I imagined myself frolicking in a secluded spring with a good looking Irishman with strong hands and-uh [clears throat] yeah. I lathered up my wash cloth and was immediately disappointed when it didn't suds up as much as my body wash.
