Happy New Year! (I couldn't think of a better title)

New Year's Eve started like any other day. With me on my hands and knees looking for my pants. Just kidding! I was on my hands and knees but I was looking for a clippy thingie that attaches my earpiece wire to my clothes. It had popped off for the millionth time because I keep forgetting to unclip it before I walk away from my desk. Milton was in the middle of another one of her epic tales that involve socks or blocks or cocks not really sure since I couldn't hear her well.

Let's listen in:

Milton: —— so I'm going to update my résumé but I will wait for something good to come up because I don't want to make a bilateral move.

THUNK! [that's my head hitting my desk]

Me: A what? A bilateral move?

Milton: Yeah. That's when you go from the same position and money from one job to another.

Me: ::blink blink:: I think you mean lateral.

Milton: Nooooo I mean Bi-lateral! [looks down on/at me because I am on my knees and because she thinks I'm stupid] *BI* means 2 so you move from your present job, JOB ONE, to another job, JOB TWO, which makes it BILATERAL.

Me: ... I learn something new everyday!   

In this case I learned some people are way overpaid.

I've been trolling the internet and there are a lot of people who are wishing for a better year because 2009 kicked them in the nuts. I wish happiness and success for them because we were there in 2008. Not to say we were burning money because we definitely struggled but we thankfully managed to keep afloat.

As for New Year's resolutions, I don't believe in them. Unless you count me exclaiming to world that I resolve to be crabbier in 2010 while in my PJs a resolution. MY promise to find the culprit who messes with my 2 whole punch every freakin day(!) could count as a resolution I guess.

Andy and I are too old to go out and celebrate with the young 'uns but we are going to ring in the New Year by sitting in the warmth of our house, having Kaluha & cream, eating pistachios and watching Terminator Salvation (I know, cheery movie to ring in 2010 but I might get some tips on survival) with potty mouth Christian Bale. At midnight we will open up a bottle of sparkling cider for a toast to family, health, friends and good fortune.

May you and yours have a blessed New Year!

P.S.

Out of Context!

Today, 12/31/09, I was able to say:

"Hey now ladies, 10:30 is too early to talk about sodomy"

So all in all, 2009 went out with a bang!