Monday, December 7, 2009

♪♫ Silver Balls. Siiiiiiiiiillver Baaaaaaalls! ♫♪

cell 12.7.09 043 Ahhhhhhhh! There's nothing like walking out the back door and sliding sideways until your butt is stopped by the backyard gate. Lucky for me, I have the reflexes of a geriatric  cat  high on marijuana so I managed to steady myself so that I wouldn't fall forward and land on my frozen begonias. The gate suffered no severe injuries in case you were wondering.

Andy and I went to get our Christmas tree on Saturday morning, we buy a real tree because I love the smell of decaying pine in my living room, and so did every other couple within a 50 mile radius of our home as evidence by the crowd at Home Depot.

We strolled along the aisles and then Andy asked me which one I wanted. I had just noticed a family standing a few feet ahead of us holding up what I would say is the definition of a Christmas tree. It was perfectly shaped, the size wasn't too big or too small and it had full and sturdy branches. So, me being me, I responded, "I want the one they have." and I swear to Neptune the family turned and gave me a look that said "we will protect this tree to our death!"

I immediately started laughing because I hadn't realized my voice had been that loud. As I was turning to share the joke with Andy, another family hugged their tree tighter to their side, fearing I would take their crappy anorexic tree from their grubby hands. I rolled my eyes and said "I was just kidding people!" Honestly! People are so paranoid!

I did keep an eye on the first family just in case they became distracted enough for me to pull and old switcheroo but I think they were onto my wily ways.

No matter, we found our perfect tree anyway.

cell 12.7.09 040

You know what I noticed? All the couples buying trees were arguing with each other. It made me sad because buying a tree is such a special tradition in most families it should be a fun time with bonding and hot chocolate not yelling and calling each other morons. Suck it up for your children for shitsake!

I know people get stressed over the holidays because of gift buying but you have to stop and wonder if it's worth yearly freak out. Andy and I used to have shopping nightmares too but now that we can't afford gifts, we just sit back with our spiked eggnog an watch Elf on loop. Who wants to join us?


  1. Ooh, I love your tree! And yeah, people are paranoid and crazed when tree shopping!

    "but now that we can't afford gifts, we just sit back with our spiked eggnog an watch Elf on loop. Who wants to join us?"


  2. Your tree is lovely and so are your sentiments. I love picking out a tree too. I think it's a big part of the Christmas fun. Of course, we usually end up with a Charlie Brown tree, but still it's fun. And yeah, I'll be right over. should I bring more eggnog?

  3. I agree that the festive season should be a time for inebriation and relaxation rather than quarrelling. I'm not sure about the bondage and hot chocolate - is this some kind of American tradition?

    The tree looks great.

  4. The "can't afford gifts" makes perfect sense. I try that every year but it fails miserably.

    I will drink some wine in honor of your tree today.

  5. I will join you if we can through Christmas Vacation into the loop as well.

    It is sad, but the reason so many people are paranoid is because some crazy people actually fight over Christmas presents and probably trees too. Everyone need to chill out.

  6. nice tree

    as I've mentioned before, ours sucks

    but the lights look pretty good this year

  7. When my daughter was little, I used to take her out and let her pick out a tree. She got to pick it out on her own, and no matter what the tree looked like, the one she wanted was the one we got. Period. Now we just use a fake one, because we live in a condo and it's so hard to dispose of the trees in this area. She's good with it though, and that's all that matters to me.

  8. The last time I got a real tree was about 13 years ago. First of all, I don't even know how I managed to get it upstairs. Secondly, no one told me how to get rid of it, so I let it sit in my living room until February! I sawed off one branch at a time with a kitchen knife until the whole thing was gone... ahhh, how young and naive I was! "-)

  9. Tree stealing, eh? American crime is worse than I thought!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.