Ahhhhhhhh! There's nothing like walking out the back door and sliding sideways until your butt is stopped by the backyard gate. Lucky for me, I have the reflexes of a
geriatric cat high on marijuana so I managed to steady myself so that I wouldn't fall forward and land on my frozen begonias. The gate suffered no severe injuries in case you were wondering.
Andy and I went to get our Christmas tree on Saturday morning, we buy a real tree because I love the smell of decaying pine in my living room, and so did every other couple within a 50 mile radius of our home as evidence by the crowd at Home Depot.
We strolled along the aisles and then Andy asked me which one I wanted. I had just noticed a family standing a few feet ahead of us holding up what I would say is the definition of a Christmas tree. It was perfectly shaped, the size wasn't too big or too small and it had full and sturdy branches. So, me being me, I responded, "I want the one they have." and I swear to Neptune the family turned and gave me a look that said "we will protect this tree to our death!"
I immediately started laughing because I hadn't realized my voice had been that loud. As I was turning to share the joke with Andy, another family hugged their tree tighter to their side, fearing I would take their crappy anorexic tree from their grubby hands. I rolled my eyes and said "I was just kidding people!" Honestly! People are so paranoid!
I did keep an eye on the first family just in case they became distracted enough for me to pull and old switcheroo but I think they were onto my wily ways.
No matter, we found our perfect tree anyway.
You know what I noticed? All the couples buying trees were arguing with each other. It made me sad because buying a tree is such a special tradition in most families it should be a fun time with bonding and hot chocolate not yelling and calling each other morons. Suck it up for your children for shitsake!
I know people get stressed over the holidays because of gift buying but you have to stop and wonder if it's worth yearly freak out. Andy and I used to have shopping nightmares too but now that we can't afford gifts, we just sit back with our spiked eggnog an watch Elf on loop. Who wants to join us?