Wednesday, December 9, 2009

No more nose bleeds at work. Well, because of dryness but I can't make any promises I won't break some noses.

cell 12.9.09 001

I know you're probably wondering what that picture is of or what it means. Well, that right there is my ghetto humidifier. The  ladies' skin is now so thin that they keep the thermostat at what the sun must feel like during a heat wave so it makes the office extremely dry. Since OZ would rather buy a $1,000 fishing lure instead of a humidifier that would prevent office fires, I remembered my sister mentioning this nifty trick of putting water in a jar with a rolled up newspaper and now I can actually breathe without hacking. I know it's not esthetically pleasing but if it gets the job done that's all that matters.

I miss the old school radiators that had a pan on top that you could fill with water and it made the air all moisty.

Also, the newspaper I used has a picture of T!ger Woods on the front page. I made sure to crinkle him extra tight and dunk him upside down as a show of solidarity to all women with men who have a trapdoor for a zipper.

Thursday is our office Christmas party. The planning has been hell same as every year I've been there. Pray for me people! Pray for me as you read about our Christmas past:

The longest day in history!


  1. Yeah, you dunked Tiger head first!

    We just had our work holiday party... it was fuh-un! But, company policy, what happens at the party stays at the party. ;-)

  2. Company parties can go so wrong! One time at one of my fathers...someone threw a drink in the vp's face. Good times!

  3. I like the ghetto humidifier! I may try that. I'm seriously starting to shrivel up down here.

    Office parties are notorious for being the essence of stupidity. Like you, I was always the recipient of the "odd" gift in the exchange. Sometimes we had even had to play games. Yippee.

    Have fun and spare us no details of this year's party.

  4. I like the humidifier. it's so dry here I've peeled five layers of skin off.

    and that was just this morning

  5. Love the ghetto humidifier - and yeah that's were Tiger's head belongs dunk in water in a bottom of the pond (not necessarily the vase and water you used) but you know what I mean.

  6. The humidifier looks awesome. It probably gives you an excuse to make up good one liners about your crappy flowers too. I am sure you get asked about it enough.

  7. Please tweet that trapdoor line just so I can RT it.

    I just put a bowl of water in the lr and the bedroom and it evaporates pretty quickly.

  8. Ahahahhaa. Tiger head first is great!

    Im glad the newspaper trick is working. I cant stand the dry air inside houses and offices during the winter months.

    I hope you have a GOOD time at your office xmas party!

  9. Have fun at your party - get drunk and offend people, and then tell us all about it after...

  10. I am certain your Christmas party will be blog worthy so it's all worth it!

    I have never heard of that newspaper trick...and to think i have been useing tiger woods paper reviews to wipe my ass...hmmm


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