Bee (calling primary care physician):
Hi, I was wondering if I could make an appointment.
Magda (nice polish woman who works for my doctor):
Sure, first appointment is for the 21st of March.
Bee:
Oh okay.
Magda:
Is it a well exam?
Bee:
No, my kidneys hurt.
Magda:
We will see you tomorrow! What’s the matter why you not tell me first!
Bee:
Because I’m not feeling well. I’m also lightheaded.
Magda:
How long you feel this way?
Bee:
Well, lightheaded is an everyday thing for me Magda. I didn’t think it was cause for alarm.
Magda:
I would pull your ears off. Doctor just left otherwise you’d come TODAY.
Bee:
If you pull my ears off you better not bill me to fix them.
Magda:
Hahahahaha! Don’t drive yourself understand??
Bee:
My insurance doesn’t cover chauffeurs. Or maids.
Magda:
Hahahahhaha! I look forward to taking your blood.
And so she wins that one.
Don’t forget, tomorrow is Brian’s Music review (where I might punch him in the kidneys!)(just kidding)(maybe).
Your pain doesn't sound like much fun :-(
ReplyDeleteShe looks forward to taking your blood? I'd start to worry... She doesn't use her teeth does she?
ReplyDeleteHa! No, she's also the phlebotomist.
ReplyDeleteMeh. I'm sure I'm fine.
Yes woman, get yourself to the doctor...stat!
ReplyDeleteOf course, this is coming from the same woman who has had a menstrual cycle going on two weeks now....UGH! But I hate going to the OB/GYN. And besides, I think it is from skipping my birth control for 3 days when I was sick with the stomach flu.
So....who is driving?
ReplyDeleteHope you're well or ... I pull your ears!
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously. Hope you're ok. Just remember, we Brits have LOUSY hospitals. If it was Brian or me, we'd be dangled out of a fifth floor window until we said the pain had gone.
Get better, sport.
Yikes. Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're not faking a kidney transplant to stay home for work.
ReplyDeleteso not coool
for Milton
Yowch!! Feel better soon, woman.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Polish woman, she sounds like a relative of mine. Like any relative of mine...does she have hairy legs and a mustache?
we have a thirty year old female organ available. lets start the bidding at 25,000
ReplyDeleteI ove that Magda. She sounds like my school nurse; but she only offers up ice or calamine lotion for every pain or injury.
ReplyDeleteYour eye fell out? Here, let me rub some pink goop on it and send you away with frozen sponge in baggie.
BRIAN!
ReplyDeleteDude get better, ok? Kidney pains and lightheadedness is nothing to laugh about.
"I look forward to taking your blood" But I did laugh about that.
Jacki!:
ReplyDeleteYikes! If that were me, I'd have gone to the ER and said PLUG ME UP OR SUMTIN'!
Andy:
My hunky driver Esteban. Who do you think is driving? Me of course.
Chris:
Ouchy on the ear thing. Thanks but I'm sure it's nothing but it becomes a problem when I'm trying to do menial things like breathe.
RG:
Thanks!
jean knee!!:
You blew my excuse! I'll have to save it for Friday.
Mary:
She's actually pretty and is always trying to talk me into some beautifying thing. Jeez.
KrUs:
Ummm I'll think about it but I do like my shoes.
Michelle:
Ha! I'll try to remember that while she's draining my precious blood.
NCS:
You're right! I can't laugh right now because it hurts but tomorrow, once they do their voodoo I will laugh like I've never laughed before!
BWAHAHA OUCH HAHAHA OUUUUCH!
I wonder how many of your Dr's patients actually have had their ears pulled off by Magda! ;)
ReplyDeletehope you feel better soon!
Hope you're okay.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're ok Bee, sounds rather worrisome to me, but I'm a worry whore.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I do love the way you wrote this post, I laughed throughout the whole thing, even though I know it's a serious matter. Sometimes a person just has to laugh at such :)