Friday, November 13, 2009

Interview with Robert Kroese author of Mercury Falls. 

Mercury Falls

In full disclosure, I received this book for free from Rob Kroese. This in no way shape or form alters what I would say about the book because I have also been giving free paella and I've never felt the need to lie and say I liked it when in fact it made me want to rip my tongue out of my mouth and then jackhammer it into oblivion. It still makes me shiver!

Anyway, here we go:

Rob, I was pleasantly surprised to find I really liked your book. Not to say I doubted your talent but I honestly didn't know what to expect.

I've read around the Internet where people are comparing your book to Kevin Smith's Dogma but, while the subject matter is similar, I have to say that the dialogue reminded me more of the Princes Bride (book and movie). That is not an insult by the way because I love the Princess Bride (book and movie). The back and forth between the character was always entertaining.

Since I am no more a book reviewer than I am an interviewer, I decided to simply say that you wrote a great book and people should go buy it here:

Amazon-Mercury Falls

I do have a few questions I'd like to ask you if you don't mind. Also, please answer my questions with a British accent because, like I've said before, you sound like Hugh Laurie in my head.

Your book opens with one of the main characters reporting on doomsday cults, basically ridiculing their whole philosophy and shining a light on their hypocrisy, were you giggling as you wrote each sentence?

The funny thing about that opening scene is that it was about the last thing I wrote. I had the whole book done and then I realized I needed a better opening scene to introduce the main character, Christine, and explain why she's so burned out with her job. And while that chapter is one of my favorite parts of the book, I didn't actually giggle through it. I did, however, laugh maniacally through the whole "history of apocalypse-related linoleum shortages" in the beginning. It's probably nowhere near as funny as I thought it was, but that was one part where I really did laugh out loud while I was writing it. 

By the way, I take the comparison to The Princess Bride as a big compliment. The movie has some wonderful dialog. I haven't read the book, but it's one of my wife's favorites.

I'm sure a lot of people have asked you this question, what made you pick The Apocalypse as the topic for your book? And answering 'a bad burrito' is not an option.

The book really started with the idea of Mercury, this angel who is basically a good guy but has no interest in doing what he's been told to. I wanted to get Mercury in a lot of trouble with his superiors, and I figured the best way to do that would be to give him some kind of really important job that he doesn't want to do. And what's more important than the apocalypse?

So Mercury is supposed to be helping out with the apocalypse, but he's just not interested. He's a little like Ron Livingston's character in "Office Space." He doesn't want to do his job, but he doesn't really want to quit either. So he plays ping-pong. 

While I am a reasonably intelligent chick (most days), do you feel your book was written in a manner that can only be enjoyed by people with superior brain power?

Nah, plenty of stupid people have told me they love the book.

Actually, my wife told me I use "too many big words" too, but hey, if I'm going to entertain you, then by golly, I'm gonna learn you something too. Anyway, you can just skip the big words and philosophical tangents. Basically it's an adventure story with a lot of explosions.

There was a blogger, and I apologize for not remembering who, that reviewed your book and stated he enjoyed it but he also commented that the one drawback was the cover illustration and then he used a fancy word for *font spacing*. I personally do not have a problem with it because I once did an experiment where I bought 5 random books based solely on the cover (a post for another day) and my conclusions were all over the place, is there something you'd like to clear up/explain/shrug and say 'stuff it!' here?

Yeah, that was Dave from Blogography. I was actually thrilled that he liked the book, because he's not the sort of person to give you a good review to soothe your ego.

As for his comments on the cover, well, he's a graphic designer and I'm not. I bow to his expertise. :)

[This is Bee, I just checked out Dave's site, Blogography and he does have mad skills! (do kids still say that?)]

When your book is made into a movie, can I be cast as Christine? You describe her as having odd features that don't really belong together but for some reason make her face fascinating, do I or do I not look exactly like the image of Christine in your head?:

bee fracture 

I see you more as Katie Midford, the mysterious author of the best selling (and possibly demon-inspired) Charlie Nyx books. I believe she is described as "middle-aged but not unattractive."

Along the same lines of the above question, when the movie comes out and the producers tell you that they require you to use this song as the background music for a scene, in what sequence of events would you place this hcrappy, why-on-earth-is-this-playing-on-my-radio, song?

I love that song. It's like Death Cab for Cutie meets They Might Be Giants. I'd like that song to be played at low volume, almost subliminally, throughout the whole movie.

When my husband gave me a dog for our 5th anniversary, I had a witch of a time finding a name for her and finally went with a suggestion from my sister. That's why I was so amazed you came up with all those angel names! Can you tell us what you used for inspiration? And answering 'tequila' is not an option (but it is an adventure).

For a few of them, I Googled "angel names" and picked ones that sounded good. I made up "Ederatz" and "Izbazel." Another one, Bamrud, was named after a friend of my wife's.

My favorite character, by the way, is Perpetiel ("Perp" for short). He's such a helpful little runt.

Would you think less of me if I told you I can't say the word Apocalypse unless I'm look at it? And by *it* I mean the word, not the actual event. It always comes out like this: wait, let me close my eyes. . . Apclopyse, Acopolypse, Rutabaga!

Rutabaga was actually the original name of the book of Revelation in the Bible. A secret organization named Opus Vegi made the Church change it in the 4th century A.D. So you're good.

And to end the interview:

What would you say distinguishes you and your book  from other authors who are mass producing vampire books (besides the lack of vampires, better writing, better story plot, better characters and self respect?)?

Lack of success?

Seriously, I can't be too hard on those writers. It's just too bad that the publishing industry has gotten to the point where unless your book fits the current bestseller mold, you can't get any interest. I wrote the sort of book that I would want to read, and if other people want to read it to, that's fantastic. But if not, at least I've written a book I'm proud of.


You can google angel names? Who knew?

Rob Kroese, ladies and gentlemen! Go buy his book!


  1. Oh I LOVED your interview!! Now Im dying to read that book! Great Job!

  2. Loved this interview. I haven't started reading my copy yet...I'm waiting until I have more free time. I usually start a book and then let everything else go while I finish it. I'm looking forward to it though.

  3. That was fun. One of these days, I'll read my copy. I'm always behind on reading.

    You should definitely be cast as Christine!

  4. Thanks, everybody! And thanks, Bee, for doing this interview!

    Sorry it took me so long to get over here. Got up at 4:30 am to stand in line for traffic court. Wheee!

    I'll try to stop by occasionally throughout the day, so feel free to ask questions about the book if there's something else you'd like to know.

  5. Tired of the blasphemyNovember 13, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    Why do people feel the need to mock religion? Consider me mo longer a fan of your blog since I don't want to follow you to hell!

  6. According to Rob's book, page 275, "there exists no physical plane known a *Hell* so I'm not ascared of you!

    Okay maybe a little but some cream of broccoli (sp?) soup will make it better!

  7. You know what? I seriously do not read fiction. But I am going to get this book based SOLELY on this interview. Well, that and the fact that he knows who TMBG are.

  8. I want to read the book, it's for sale already right? Do I get any discounts for being the sister of the interviewer?? :) j/k

    I'll take you the soup :) I drive right by Quiznos.

  9. I tried not to read too much cuz of spoiler stuff, I still wanna read it

    I just have to sell a few more fluffy pink things first

  10. what? It mocks religion????

    I am so there

  11. Is "Tired" for real?

    I mean, seriously, have you SEEN some of the religions out there?

    For the record, I'm a Bible-believin' Christian. All the more reason to identify the absurdities in religion, IMHO. Anyone who has no sense of humor about religion has clearly never actually read the Bible. The Jews are the chosen people? Come on, that's hilarious.

    Yes, the book is available now on Amazon. I can't offer a discount, but I give you permission to tell your friends that you know me. :)

  12. Sounds like a good book, if it's not too fat let
    me borrow it.

  13. If you were a Christian, you would be writing stories of inspiration instead of demonic drivel.

  14. Anonymous - Wow, do the other martyrs know the risks you're taking for your faith by posting anonymous blog comments? Talk about inspiration, Joan of Arc has nothing on you.

    And trust me, if I had demons on my side, I'd have had an easier time finding a literary agent.

  15. Rob... I think we both know who this Tired Anon person is ;-)

    Great job Bee, but I expected nothing less from you. Rob, when this is all done, make sure you post a permanent list of all the interviews from your MF'ing blog tour, because I haven't read one yet that wasn't totally cool. Ok, maybe one.

  16. I will, Jeff. I can't think of one that hasn't been cool either. There may have been one, but if so, I've completely forgotten it. :)

  17. Nice job, Bee.

    And nice job by Mr. Kroese in his follow-up comments here.

    Kudos (omg, did I just say "kudos"? too late now) to you both. :)

  18. Rambler - Not only that, but you said "omg". Don't let it happen again. :)

  19. Great interview. :)

    The zealots are out on this post hehe!

  20. Grats on doing something you can be proud of & enjoy!!!

    And Bee is not kidding when she says she cannot say apocalypse ( she can't say rudabaga either, but you didn't get that from me )

  21. When stupid people cannot agree with others views, stupid people pull out the zealot card.

  22. Holy crap stick!! The bible thumpers wait until I'm sick to show their prickish side!

    Rob, I about hacked up a lung from laughing when I read "And trust me, if I had demons on my side, I'd have had an easier time finding a literary agent."!

    Good show!

  23. I see the next edition's blurb now:

    "Written in a manner that can only be enjoyed by people with superior brain power!" -- Bee

  24. In light of this discussion, here's a quote from the book:

    "The Charlie Nyx books were extremely popular with those who had read them, and extremely unpopular with those who had not."

  25. Okay, "demonic drivel?"

    That just tipped the scales to convince me to buy the book!

    Sounds intriguing and nice interview Bee!

  26. Well, the book inspired me to laugh out loud. God forbid any of us should be happy. That's the thing: zealots are humorless.

  27. I think people feel the need to mock religion because it does so much damage and gets taken so damn far by zealots ... "Life Of Brian" is one of the funniest (& in places accurate) films ever.

    Great interview! I hope the book does well.

  28. Okay, I googled "blog demonic drivel" and three of the first 10 results reference MF, and two of them are in the top three. One's in Japanese.

    Good job with the marketing, Anonymous!

  29. It was extremely interesting for me to read the post. Thank author for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

  30. Sweet! I'm going to be the number one source for demonic drivel on the net!

    BTW, I just lowered the ebook price to $1.99. Kindle:
    Other formats:


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.