Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The ninja are all about stealth! Also, I think Christmas makes me paranoid.

I was asked to open the office on Tuesday morning. The 2 key holders were taking time off so they needed to pass on the responsibility to someone else. Someone they could trust to be on time and not have everybody sitting outside, waiting to be let in.

Unfortunately that someone who can be trusted is not me since I have a history of being late to everything but they had no choice because I was the only one available. MAHA!
I was taken for a dry run or more accurately tested on my key turning abilities by taking me outside of the office and locking the door. I did let Glynda know I had quite a few years of door unlocking under my belt but she told me these locks were different. They get stuck sometimes so you have to jiggle the key just so. . . you don't say? I once lived in an apartment that had a rusty deadbolt on the door that managed to eat my keys but I ALWAYS got in the house. I think I could handle a couple of jiggles.
I put the key in the deadbolt and turned it "did you hear a click?" Glynda asked "not only did I hear a click but I actually felt the bolt move!", I answered. "Okay, now move on to the doorknob" Glynda instructed. "Really?" I asked because I wasn't sure I was ready but I did as I was told and successfully unlocked the door! So I did a little jig as I walked inside.

After she made sure I would be able to let myself in (and really, the only thing that could have kept me from being able to unlock the door is maybe not reaching the lock) she gave me 3 different numbers where I could reach her in case of an emergency. I felt like I was 15 years old and I was babysitting my little cousins. And I mostly kept them in the pantry. True story.
Later that night, I made sure I had everything ready for my morning so that nothing would delay me in leaving early. Or, you know, on time. I tossed and turned until I eventually fell asleep and dreamt I had gotten to work 10 minutes late and Glynda was inside the office waiting for me with an enormous ruler... I don't know either, so I woke up feeling frantic only to realize I was still safe in bed and it was only 5:45.
I got ready for work and left my house at 7:30. IN THE MORNING! It only takes me about 5-7 minutes to get to work but I wanted to make sure I didn't get stopped by any trains, planes or automobiles. Sure enough, there was a traffic jam and I wound up punching it at 7:50. But I was still early! Woohoo!!
Glynda is usually the person who gets to the office first. She leaves the back door open for employees to come in and sits and does her work at the front part of the building. This troubled me because, if a ninja decided to attack me, he could because I would be sitting defenseless at my desk. And even if I had my guard up, I still might not realize a ninja had infiltrated the office because I wouldn't be able to hear him jumping around from filing cabinet to filing cabinet.
So I made the decision to wait in the kitchen, which is near the back door, for the first person to arrive.

cell 12.23.09 009 I made coffee, toasted a bagel and settled in for a long wait. I waited. 

Oh I heard something!

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Nope nothing!


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Nope, still no one!

And so I waited some more.

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Finally Toto came in, 15 minutes late may I add, so I pretended I had just gone to the back for my coffee so that I wouldn't look like a wimp. Not that I'm ashamed because you can never trust a ninja. If you don't believe me, ask those who have battled ninjas. Only you can't because they're dead!
Remember last year on Christmas Eve when I thought an intruder had entered my house and I was in the shower so I couldn't go out and drop kick their ass until I got dressed? So much for feeling peace during the Christmas season!

On that note, Feliz Navidad to you all!

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  1. Merry Christmas. Sounds like Glynda could use a little time out in the pantry.

  2. Have a Wonderful, Ninja-Free Christmas. (How do you say that in Spanish?)

  3. Feliz Navidad to you and all your family, Bee. Glad you passed door-unlocking 101. May you be safe from ninjas the rest of the holiday season.

  4. I think you are burning the ninjas in the fire. Be careful out there!

    Merry Christmas and congratulations on getting the office unlocked without Glynda's supervision!

  5. Merry Merry Christmas my most precious Bee.

    what's that burning in the fire?

  6. When I am alone in the office I don't fear ninjas because I think the place is haunted. And the ghosts will protect me...

  7. Merry Christmas, Bee! Hope you, Andy and the dogs have a blast!

  8. Merry Christmas! What a beautiful shot of your cozy fireplace and mantle!

  9. ♥ Wishing You a Merry Christmas! ♥

  10. Bollocks to the ninjas and Happy Christmas!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.