Viva Le Secret Santa Can Suck It! Year Deux!

Well, it's that time of year where we buy expensive gifts for people who will turn around and store them in their closets. And that's nowhere to keep puppies. For too long.

Anyway, this year I got Reforming Geek as my victim for SSCSI. I've been reading her for over a year and I'm usually jealous of her nice weather. Especially when I have to walk out of my house into the frozen tundra. But! There are times when I read her blog and think "that chick is all kinds of nuts!" like when she goes on those early morning triathlons and she does all that exercising to ""stay in shape"" and ""be healthy"" that's why God invented plastic surgery, duh!

So I sat at my desk and wondered what I could get the girl that has everything, including health. Finally, after a half dozen brownies, I had a great idea!

She really loves to make rum balls. I mean she really really likes to EAT rums balls. Sooooo, since we all know how difficult it is to remove balls from rum (rum tends to kick and scream)(from both pleasure and pain) you kinda have to stand on their neck while somebody else takes the pliers and... well, I won't give you too many details since I don't want anyone passing out on aisle 3.

To spare RG all that screaming and splattered rum juice, I invented this super nifty gadget I will call:

The Rum Baller 2000

I know what you're thinking. That it looks like a funnel but it's not!

(yes, those are Andy's hands but he didn't know what I was up to so he's free of sin)

You put the rum at the top and shake until the "EXPOSED AREA" is dangling through the tiny opening at the bottom and then you pinch off- wait, YOU PINCH OFF the little rum balls.

TAAADAAA!

No mess, no fuss, no alcoholics waiting to lick the rum juice off your counter! Yes, I know rum balls are clear and have no pigmentation but I dyed them the color of red potatoes so you could see them.

It's also available in 10 different sizes.

And so, RG, I hope my gift serves you for a very long time to come. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

  

***WARNING AND DISCLAIMER***

Keep out of reach of all male members (PADUM PUMP!) of your family to avoid freak accidents. Also, this product is patent pending and while I'm waiting for said patent I will be drinking a little rum, doing a little dance...

 

Please see the links on the side bar titled Secret Santa Can Suck It II for the rest of the participants.

"Bee n' Andy" - PRIORITIES!

 

 

 

-Also, all you bloggers out there, start preparing for Bee's Musing's second annual Secret Santa Can Suck It!* Woohoo! Yeah! More Confetti! With Gold Sparklies!

I know what you're thinking, "Bee, the economy has me rationing my dog's food. Poor Pudgy now goes by the nickname of Slim."

Never fear! This involves absolutely no money at all and the price is as cheap as imagination! Not to imply your imagination is cheap because I know it must cost your employers thousands of dollars while you sit at your desk and imagine yourself rich, sitting next to a model (man or woman, whatever tickles your fancy), drinking rum out of Brad Pitt's bellybutton.

For those of you who weren't around last year, that's when I picked a blogger out of a hat and assigned him/her to another blogger. And then you tell them what you would have gotten them had you the money and/or you know, cared, you post it on your blog and fun ensues. It is Secret Santa so you can't tell the person you got that you got them because then it's not a secret. That's the other part of the fun. Clicking through the list of participants to see who your Secret Santa is.

... I know it sounds complicated but it's really not.

It was a lot of fun last year but sadly some of the people that participated last year are either no longer blogging or I haven't kept in touch sooooooo! If you want to sign up for it, email me at beesmusings@gmail.com with the link to your blog.

If you want to check out how it worked last year, click on the Secret Santa Can Suck It! link at the top of the blogus.-

The horrible case of the hypnotizing Michael Bublé. Plus Secret Santa Can Suck It- Part Deux!

So I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about myself until I remembered I had admitted to my sister I liked Michael Bublé. The scary part is that I was sober. Goes to show that even the secrets you think you will take with you to your grave have a way of coming out when you least expect it. Either that or I just have the will power of a hyena.

Anyway, the conversation started off innocently while we were unloading her Christmas tree from her Explorer:

Sister Nancy: Pull it up and I'll shove from my end [in a whisper] I like Michael Bublé. 

Me [in a shocked yell]: ME TOO!

-SILENCE-

We obviously both realized that it would have been better to confess to shoplifting cat food than to confess to the Bublé  thing but it was too late to take it back so we justified by saying:

Me: But just his songs because he's a total dillweed.

Sister Nancy: Yeah and he's ugly too!

Me: Yeah he is!

-MORE SILENCE-

Sister Nancy: But I still want to see him in concert.

Me: Hey, hey! Let's not go too far, okay?

As for me, I started liking the dude when somebody broke into my house and left their Michael Bublé CD behind. First I liked one song then another and then Christmas came along and he covered some Christmas oldies... next thing I knew my iTunes account was loaded with Bublés

::sigh:: I'm not proud of it but at least I know I'm still a badass because if Michael Bublé  and I were to get into a fist fight, I'm confident I can beat him up and make a purse out of his vocal chords.

Oh, don't tell Nancy I told you.

 

Announcements!!

Bee n' Andy Comic Strip is back this coming Sunday! I know, YAY! Confetti!

Also, all you bloggers out there, start preparing for Bee's Musing's second annual Secret Santa Can Suck It!* Woohoo! Yeah! More Confetti! With Gold Sparklies!

I know what you're thinking, "Bee, the economy has me rationing my dog's food. Poor Pudgy now goes by the nickname of Slim."

Never fear! This involves absolutely no money at all and the price is as cheap as imagination! Not to imply your imagination is cheap because I know it must cost your employers thousands of dollars while you sit at your desk and imagine yourself rich, sitting next to a model (man or woman, whatever tickles your fancy), drinking rum out of Brad Pitt's bellybutton.

For those of you who weren't around last year, that's when I picked a blogger out of a hat and assigned him/her to another blogger. And then you tell them what you would have gotten them had you the money and/or you know, cared, you post it on your blog and fun ensues. It is Secret Santa so you can't tell the person you got that you got them because then it's not a secret. That's the other part of the fun. Clicking through the list of participants to see who your Secret Santa is.

... I know it sounds complicated but it's really not.

It was a lot of fun last year but sadly some of the people that participated last year are either no longer blogging or I haven't kept in touch sooooooo! If you want to sign up for it, email me at beesmusings@gmail.com with the link to your blog.

If you want to check out how it worked last year, click on the Secret Santa Can Suck It! link at the top of the blogus.

Tazz and Mocha Speak

So... Nooter The Dog tagged me with a scent meme. I'm to list 5 good smells and 5 bad smells. I decided to let Tazz and Mocha take this Meme and run with it. And then come back and leave it at my feet so I could throw it again and then they'll fight over the meme and Tazz will growl and Mocha will pee then expose her belly as a sign of submission. That's how Andy and I are... only he's Mocha ;o)

Tazz:

Okay Mocha we are supposed to list five smells we don't like and five we do. Mocha? MOCHA!

Mocha:

What?? I was trying to eat that squirrel that sits on the fence but I kept crashing into an invincible force field!

Tazz:

It's called a window, airhead!

Mocha:

Whatever stank breath! And that is one of the smells I don't like, your bad breath. (1)

Tazz:

Oh yeah? What about that time you threw up and rolled in it? That wasn't pleasant at all! (2)

Mocha:

Look who's talking! You bathe once a month because you hate water! You always smell like cheesy fritos! ... But I like that smell. (1)

Tazz:

Remember the time the dorky man left his sausages where I could reach them and started yelling when he found out I ate them?? Those smelled really good but tasted better! (2)

Mocha:

I wouldn't know since you always bite my legs when I try to sniff the food. I like to smell pretty lady's hair. (3)

Tazz:

Me too! I used to like smelling dorky man's fingers when he came home from work. I think it was because of those thin sticks that were hot at the tip that would make him blow smoke from his mouth. I was sad when he stopped buying those. That's why I tried to escape that one year, so I could go to the neighbor whose mouth is always smoking. (4)

Mocha:

Blech! I hated that smell! (3) He would come pet me and I would make this noise :kkkhrrmmm: :kkkhrrmmm: I was pretending I was going to throw up and he'd leave me alone. Not such an airhead now am I frito butt!

Tazz:

Remember that time you got into the recycle bin and drank the leftover booze? You were walking into walls, more than usual, and asking for your mommy. ha ha ha I hate the smell of booze! (4)

Mocha:

No, instead you like to sniff the cleaning products! The smell of bleach makes my eyes go googly and I hate it. (5)

Tazz:

I have to say that my all time favorite smell is coffee. Pretty lady once got distracted and left a garbage bag with coffee grinds that drove me to chew a hole at the bottom and inhale the grinds right into my system. The best score EVER! (5) AND CHEESE CAKE!

Mocha:

You are so weird. Hey! I smell Blue Cheese!

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Thanks to everybody who has joined the Secret Santa Can Suck It! we have about 38 people so far and it is going to be great! I'll email everyone Monday evening with their respective uh, people. Remember it's a secret so once I tell you, don't go over to the person and say "Hey I'm your secret Santa Booga Booga!".

No. No. Don't do it. I'd like everybody's "gift" to be up on Thursday 12/11 (of 2008) so we can all laugh together. The way I figured to do it, is to post a links with everybody's Site name where you go looking for your "gift". Does that sound good?

Suggestions are always welcome! Mostly.

P.S.

Does anybody else mess up when spelling Santa and keep typing Satan? Or is it just me?

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