I decided to break my one week tradition and have Fuck off Fridays on a Saturday on a Friday. OZ is on vacation and the rest of the office staff is off except for me and two other people (CL & Glynda). There probably won't be too much to be pissed off about. Anyway, I'll see what I can do to bring my bad mood to your living space.
I had to leave work at noon Thursday to drive my mom somewhere governmentally related. I told Glynda I’d hopefully be back in 3 hours. You guys have been to places like that, right? They're assholes just because there's air!
I went in there, ready for battle with my “fuck you all” face a mere hairline trigger away!
Do you know what happened? The governmentals were NICE to us!
THEY WERE NICE!
We were only there for half an hour!
I sat back and let this phenomena wash over me like warm rain in the summertime.
Speaking of summertime! Since I can’t tell the governmentals to Fuck off cuz they were nice… I want to send out a special warm wish to my good old friend Mother Nature.
Mother Nature, I wish you would just let us live in peace. This whole prank you’re pulling of either giving us 10 feet of snow or 1 gazillion gallons of water? Not funny!
I’m about to get all close and personal with my river and to tell you the truth, I don’t need to know what size undies it wears.
I’m okay with worshipping it from afar while I speed down my street running over squirrels and skunks.
We’re good. I promise not to put a canoe on it and it promises not to damage my worldly possessions and stink up my yard!
Thanks to you, IT’S RISING AGAIN! And not the good kind of rising that we first learned about in Grease via Rizzo’s dirty mouth. No, this kind of rising benefits nobody. Not even the woodland creatures that drink its water.
I know I know “April showers BLAH BLAH BLAH”
Just Fuck off, okay?
Love you to death,
AND!! To the OVERAGED!! Bat that took one of my beauteous pens, I WANT IT BACK... YESTERDAY! I don't know who it was, I just know it was on my desk before I left to go to the Governmental errand and when I came back, it was gone! Don't take a girl's pen when that is the only thing keeping her in a quasi lucid state! Don't do it! Fuck off! You know?
The dreaded wedding is tomorrow. I’m scaurd. Andy didn't go to the Bachelor Party. Not even after I begged him to shower and go. I want him smelling clean for the hoochies. I can't have them saying my man ain't clean.
SHOES I'M STALKING UNTIL I CAN BUY THEM WITHOUT SELLING A KIDNEY.