I’m sorry. I thought I was okay but I’m obviously still festering the hate within my gut!
Glynda came in and told me OZ wants me to walk to Subway and get his fuckin' sandwich! Last I checked I wasn’t in the catering business!! I was going to say no but it’s so beautiful outside, I thought it’d be good to step out for a minute.
Right before I left I was told 3 times BY THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE that someone needed help with translating. I've said how much I love helping people that really need me. I know it goes against my cantankerous personality but I don't mind at all.
But! Having one person after another come remind me about it really pisses me off! Do you know how much they used to pay for a translator before my humble little butt worked here? $120 AN HOUR!!
If Oz made them wait too long and the translator was here for an hour and ten minutes, they'd have to pay $240 for TWO HOURS!
Here I am, cheap labor getting sandwiches and translating for peanuts! Well, not peanuts. More like almonds or cashews or whatever might be a couple of steps up above peanuts.
Don't worry, my payback was devilishly genius. I went into the exam room with the most noxious banana breath evah!
I know you're surprised at this unladylike behavior coming from me but you know my lady-ness is just an act. I spit and scratch like the rest of you!
Anyway, when I went to buy his highness his sandwich. I noticed I was wearing my very comfortable but ugly skechers. They are so old and raggedy, I couldn't even find a picture of them online!
I've decided to wear these shoes for the whole week until somebody asks me if I'm insane for wearing casual shoes to the office. Then I can respond by saying "You force me to do things like this when you send me across an empty lot full of woman eating geese that would love to have a piece of my bacon butt! I have to run as fast as my short legs will carry me across that God forsaken poop filled lot with ginormous sink holes so fuck off!"
Uh... well I won't tell them to fuck off because it's not Friday so maybe I'll say 'bugger off!' I was watching About a Boy this weekend and English people who talk American make me laugh.
Sadly, I don't think anybody will say anything to me after my outburst last week. You know what? I fear I'm becoming one of those eccentric people who walks by and gets 'hellos' but then people start talking about them once they leave saying how they used to have a brilliant mind but they had an explosion of neurons which made them go INSANE!
The only discrepancy in that theory is that I STILL have a brilliant mind. I just need to Windex it a little bit.
Add to that the fact that my beloved Andy has contracted the most heinous of virus-es-es-es! He is now coughing like Zoolander after a day in the mines declaring he has black lung.
He coughs twice and then meows- COUGH cough meow! The poor little bunny!
This morning, when he was looking for love, sympathy and support I told him to get off his pity pot and go to work like the rest of us! Then I fell asleep for another hour and debated coming in to work. Hey! Nobody said life was fair!
If I remember correctly, back when I was 30 something, my favorite quote was 'life's a bitch and then you marry one!' well there you have it!
Whatever man. I'll talk to you turkeys later. At the moment I'm trying to name all the air molecules dancing ballet in front of my face.
Danaher Companies specifically Videojet can go suck monkey balls! You have to wonder what kind of morons can run big corporations with their heads so far up their asses! FUCKWADS!