Monday, April 14, 2008

Dearly departed...

-Day 104-
You know what I learned this weekend? That I can't trust you guys! You told me the wedding would suck and I'd cry all night while hiding under the table! You lied to me! Here I trusted you and instead you abused our friendship and exploited my anti-social fears.
You should be ashamed of yourselves!

What? You thought I'd take the blame for building up the dreaded wedding and then actually enjoying it? Then you don't know me very well!
It began shaky when Andy introduced me to his coworker:
"Bee this is the other Andy, this is my wife"
I shook his hand and said "Wow! I bet it's not annoying to keep getting called 'the other Andy'!"

SILENCE! No, not silence, I could hear crickets chirping.
Hey man, if I hit a nerve, say so! man up and tell people you don't like being in my Andy's shadow! (everybody was calling him 'the other Andy')
Luckily, my ego is such that I just shrugged my shoulders and moved on to spread my foot-in-the-mouthness elsewhere.

Anyway, the food was excellent (I threw caution to the wind and ate the asparagus! It was so delish, I'll live with the consequences.), the champagne was outstanding (I normally don't like it but this one was sooooo yummy!) the music was fanfuckintastic (Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all the good oldies).

I sat next to Andy's friend Jerry (not his real name, same guy who offered to pay me $1000 for a night with Andy) and his girlfriend. Andy's boss is even nuttier than OZ. He ran out of silverware so he decided to lick Jerry's forks and claim them! He also kept pointing out boobage while his wife was sitting next to him.

By the way, I lost count at how many times guys said "Ouh!" to each other.

I had the honor of meeting Andy's Vinny. Yeah, he's hot but my Andy is way hotter. When I told him that he said "Oh, it's his hair. It's too long. He looks better with shorter hair." ... ... ... I know you're thinking it but you better not dare say it!

this isn't him but they could be twins!

We drove home listening to TheOffspring and blasting "Pretty fly for a white guy!" perfect end to the evening.

In other news.
There have been cougar sightings in a suburb near me. The police are asking the public not to go near the animal and call them immediately. In case they need a picture to ID it, I found one for them.

(Scary fact, she was born 11/11/62 EXACTLY TEN YEARS OLDER THAN I AM!)
I know it's only April but I'm already declaring the worst song of the year as being Madonna's new song
4 minutes. For some reason it reminds of Chipotle's Burrito Lady. And they made their commercial frist! That's all I'm saying.
I say hey hey hey Burrito Lady! You drive me crazy! Burrito Lady.


  1. FIRST!

    I'm glad that the wedding exceeded your expectations. You should always keep them low for that reason (your expectations, that is).

  2. LOVE 4 minutes. Don't know the other one....

  3. Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock... That's in the song 4 minutes incase you're wondering what the hell I'm doing.
    I'm glad you had a good time.
    Oh, just out of curiosity, what exactly did this guy want to do with/to Andy for the thousand beans? If he just wanted to go play golf, I might have considered it.

  4. I'm going to a destination wedding in some beach in Mexico in November. How cool is that?

  5. Waz up??? Glad you had fun! I love that song...pretty fly (for a white guy)...classic!

  6. Glad you had fun. I'm sitting here on hold with my dr. 's office
    he's not available but Dr. Frailey is. this guy nearly killed a friend of mine my saying a lump under her arm was an ingrown hair, then said it was a swollen lymph node and put her on antibiotics for six months. In the mean time cancer is eating her and she almost dieD.

    They can't kill you with antibiotics for a sinus infection can they?

  7. Jean Knee:

    Probably not, but they can try...

  8. holy crap, girl! you are a blogging fool. i haven't posted since last week and i've practically fallen off the charts. vacation will do that to you. i should have asked you to do some guest posts for me.

    love all the pics. i'm glad i'm not the only one who likes to snap food. i have lots from my trip, which i hope to share soon.

  9. I think weddings are the best. I have my own little personal challenge with each celebration of love to make the most significant dent in the lovebird's bar bill.

  10. ..and if he thinks twice,
    they're gonna KICK HIS LILLY ASS!

    damn I love that song.

  11. Oh, by the way, Ashtons not lovin the cougar, he's just punkin' Bruce Willis!

  12. omg, bee!

    damon's lamp pic totally looks like someone's random clam. he's not fooling anyone.

  13. Brian:
    Yup! They always are which is why I'm such a a happy go lucky type of gal! ;op

    I love Madonna, Justin T. and Timbaland but this song does nothing for me. I do sing it all the time though, they have carved it into the darkness of my mind.

    That part reminds me of a Gwen Stefani song.

    He was just kidding. He kept asking him to dance too. It's funny because it's a company of all men and all they do is joke about their gay love for each other and then check out women's racks. Go figure!

    I think you have a man crush on you future brother in law.
    Is he your Vinny?

    You know why you love it? Cuz you're cool!

    jean knee:
    Hope you feel better soon!

    I had fun. It was soo easy I could have gone on and on but people were looking at me funny.

    My hubs wouldn't let them take the wine bottle. Ouh!

    Then they should have a kid. That would be the ultimate punk!

    It looks like boobs to me. ;op

  14. 4 minutes? What was Madonna thinking? Most guys only can only last for 2!

  15. Do weddings trump baby showers? Lately, all I get to go to is baby showers. The lack of alcohol is a bummer.

  16. I haven't heard that song yet, but I had my suspicions.

  17. have you seen the new madonna and justin timberlake's music video?!...i have no words actually, which is quite frightening and should be reported to my doctor...

  18. All my best party memories begin and end with fork licking!

  19. VE:
    Um... will you stop bragging?

    I feel your pain. I would carry a flask if I were you.

    Yiou're lucky! mY station plays it every hour on the hour!

    Yup! I don't know what else she can possibly do...

    Yeah but they're your own forks right? ;o)


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