Quick one today.
Andy is saving his "allowance" to buy a new set (pair?) of headphones. Turns out his are broken but we cannot agree on who is the culprit.
I leave it up to you, the mostest smartest of readers, to decide.
Let me set the scene for you.
Bee, walks in to the kitchen after a long hard day at work. Andy stomps out of his dungeon ready for a battle.
Andy:
Your fucken' dog broke my headphones! [my fucken' dog is Tazz the Destroyer]
Bee:
What? How? [concerned, thinking Tazz shredded them or used them as a trampoline]
Andy:
My brother was petting him then he went nuts and tried to attack us!
[Up until now, I'm not surprised because Tazz is INSANE]
Andy:
Then I had to throw my headphones at him so he'd stop! I missed and they landed on the floor!
Bee:
... [trying to keep a straight face since he's obviously FURIOUS!] Uh... you know, that really wouldn't be Tazz's fault.
Andy:
WHAT!? WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Are you freakin' kidding me right now???
Bee:
The way I see it, you, AS THE HUMAN, should have known better than to throw an expensive piece of equipment at a... dog.
Andy:
[starts pacing and shaking his head, looking at me as if I have finally lost my mind] I knew it! I knew you wouldn't see it my way! I KNEW YOU'D SAY IT'S MY FAULT!
.
Bee:
BWAHAHAHAHA! DAMN MY HABIT FOR POINTING OUT THE ABSURD!
.
He walked away mumbling something about the pros and cons of moving back in with his parents.
.
P.S.
My niece's birthday was Saturday, her actual celebration has been postponed for July, so she can have one of those weird air filled castle-like structure things, but we had a blast at her Rock Band Party. Number of kids, 1 (Natalia) number of adults (12. ALL OF THEM INSANE! except for Nana).
Hmm, I appear to be one earlier than second...
ReplyDeleteHeadphones break so easily. I seem to be forever buying new ones.
Hmmm... it seems to me that it is Andy's brother's fault for petting the dog to begin with.
ReplyDeleteAnd he is hardly mentioned in the story at all.
Yes, I think the brother should buy new headphones for the dog!
Chris and I have had a similar argument going for eight years now. Good luck reaching level ground.
ReplyDeleteHere's my story:
After Caroline was born I had her lying on a blanket in the floor and was filling out birth announcements. Then the phone rang. It was for me.
While I'm on the phone, with a nun from our church I might add, Chris went through the living room. He stepped over the birth announcements, the address book, the pen, THE BABY, and stepped right on my awesome glasses. Then he yells at me "Nice Fucking job Tracy! You just made me break your glasses!"
Whose fault is that one?
I always side with the dog for sure!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, because Helena and I watched an episode of "Murder She Wrote" today, in which a rich man was murdered, but left his millions to his dog. The dog was then framed for another murder...
ReplyDeleteno fricking waaay...I missed a rock band party? noooo
ReplyDeleteabsolutely, no doubt at all it was the brother's fault.
ReplyDeleteHe should pay up and feel lucky he wasn't bitten.
It's Bee's fault, you should never let Andy buy expensive headphones, stick to the cheep ones since you'll make him break them again.
ReplyDeleteAm I crazy or did we miss a day?????
ReplyDeleteSaturday April 5????
Huh, maybe i should just drink another one!
M
Brian:
ReplyDeleteAndy's are super high tech and he claims not to hear me when he wears 'em. There those ones that have a microphone thing so he can communicate with his online peeps.
[in his monotone voice]
Kayfour:
ha ha! I love it! I'll tell him you said so. :o)
Tracy:
::sigh:: Men! They're all the same with different names.
PSS:
Yeah, that way he won't attack me. Actually, he knows I'm boss! The dog not Andy.
Brian:
Damn dogs!
jean knee:
2 votes for brother Jim!
Dan:
Are you drunk?
M:
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHA! It's part of my April Fool's gag, only I'm the fool! Should I fix it?
Oh, ALWAYS side with the dog. ALWAYS. I don't even have a dog, but I have it's imaginary furry back all the damn time.
ReplyDeleteExcept when it gets blamed for the farting that goes on around here. That's all the boys here. Leave the dog out of that one.
FAKOG:
ReplyDeleteI have a no farting rule in my house.
They all laugh at me.
We got together at the in-laws to celebrate my FIL's birthday and my Steffie's birthday.
ReplyDeleteIt involved cake. Homemade pizza. And trying to fart discreetly on their new furniture and under the watchful eye of my pissy MIL.
EWBL:
ReplyDeleteCover it up with a sneeze.
My BIL, when he was dating a hateful obnoxious bitch, used wait until they got in the car then turn on the radio loud and light a cigarette, no noise no smell.
It's definitely Andy's fault. Had he actually hit the attacking dog (which couldn't have been three feet away from him) and not the floor, the headphones may have survived.
ReplyDeleteOr you could just blame the floor for being too hard.
Damon:
ReplyDeleteHa! I told him to take free throw lessons, hopefully taht would improve his hit-the-dog game.