Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Hump day has arrived

-Day 92-
First, I'd like to say thanks for all the e-mails you sent threatening me if I ever scare you again. (I'm not scaurd!)(much)

Ha Ha Ha! I had my fun! I regret closing the comments because some of your vulgar statements were colorful... to say the least!
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I would like to answer one question:
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"uhm did you spell SWAN wrong on purpose?"
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WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL SAWN!!
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Anyway, I hope you had a fun April Fool's Day. Mine wasn't too good, aside from the e-mails I mean.
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I decided that on my next meeting with OZ, I might ask for my own office.
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Currently I share the office with Milton, PD, the copy machine, fax machine and the postage meter thing.
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Unfortunately, I sit right next to the copy machine.
My desk is the one with the X:
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Do you see where the copy machine is?

These drawers are where you load paper.



This is the box with extra paper.
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When people bend over to fill the copy machine THEIR BUTT IS IN MY FACE!
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<- X marks the spot where my face would be.

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What I don’t understand is, why point it at me? They can obviously bend over in the opposite direction! Is this their passive aggressive way of telling me I can kiss their ass? Because all I read into that is please KICK my ass!
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Sometimes they point at me when they're just getting extra paper. My camera was too slow so I was unable to give you guys a proper peep shot of the miscreants.

She had bent over to get paper.

Am I overreacting? Let's remember that I work in the office of flatulence!

P.S.

They are revamping Dungeons & Dragons and making it like the other game Andy plays with the Wizards and the Orcs? I thought they had already done that but I was quickly corrected by Andy "Bee, you're thinking of Magic the Gathering!"

No, I can honestly say I wasn't!

19 comments:

  1. This post is scarier than yesterday. You need to put some kind of heat source on your desk so that it will be uncomfortable for them. Not sure what - I suppose a blow torch is out of the question ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was sad when I thought you had quit.
    Then my sadness turned into denial, "surely sweet Bee would quit without telling me first.
    Then my denial turned into shock when I realized you had played a cruel joke on me.
    Then my shock turned into duhness because I forgot it was April's fool day.

    The End.

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  3. Re: Butts in your space:
    -Get a force field.

    -Get an electric fence.

    -Get a Dungeons & Dragons spell.

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  4. Could you color code the "x" next time?

    I kept getting confused, x=your face or x=their butt

    Thanks

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  5. Sheeesh Bee.
    It's espellet suuan.

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  6. You need to go to a tractor supply store and get a cattle prod. Then when someone puts their but in your face, you zap em!

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  7. why don't you just move the box of paper to a diffrent location?
    You think the bats would make a big deal about it?

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  8. Last April 1 I put up a post saying I was quitting blogging, but since last April 1 I had a total of about 1 reader, I don't think it was a success.

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  9. i wish you hadn't turned off the comments either. i had something really funny to say yesterday and now i can't remember.

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  10. I bought my mom some cat butt gum for Mother's Day one year. The box talked about how cats show you their little puckered anus' and why. you should get some to better understand the bats

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  11. oh jeez, it's hump day and Drew's outta town :(

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  12. I hope your phone doesn't make the clicky camera noise mine does.

    I was a little disturbed when I saw yesterday's post, until I remembered the date. And I was like, "suuuuuure!"

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  13. Might you consider accidently stretching and kicking when copies are being made? Just a thought.

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  14. Take a drink of soda and snort it at the offending butt, then laugh hysterically, perhaps while pointing at said butt.

    This should make people self conscious enough but certainly the cold soda spots on their rear end should persuade them to turn the other way.

    Worked in my office.

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  15. I said nothing yesterday because I knew it was a scam thanks to my Bee Mind Melding system.

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  16. It's Bee's World, y'all. You just livin in it.

    That's why she can spell SWAN any damn way she pleases.

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  17. Strange butts confined in close proximities, scare me.

    Ganalgaenmicaraphobia.

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  18. You need a very small, low velocity paint ball gun that you can hide in your palm and shoot colorful little splatters at all those asses bent in your direction.

    Ha! Imagine the art you could create on some of the larger 'canvasses'.

    You could be the Monet of asses. :)

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.