My threats are 47%- 56%- uh… 87% of the time idle. + Mariah Carey as my role model.

-Day 98- All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.- Aristotle
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Okay, I’ve been having a tough couple of weeks here at Arkham Asylum.
I alternate between pulling my hair out, grinding my teeth, biting my lip, and just plain running around screaming “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone cuz you won’t have someone to SHIT ON!”
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I’ve also said “The only thing keeping me here are the gas prices!”
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And “I should go work at the Zoo, at least its smells better!”
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Why people take me seriously is beyond my comprehension.
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To top it all off… MY FREAKIN’ COFFEE HAS BEEN GIVING ME HEARTBURN!
The cosmos are all lined up to make my life as unpleasant as possible!
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On a positive note, my garden is ready for the future little bug attractors to be planted!
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I got an email from somebody asking why I had to do Fuck Off Fridays On A Saturday.
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Why not make it “Get Bent Saturdays” that way you won’t have to curse so much.
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Ummmmm... huh! Well, I don’t think I curse enough as it is. I restrain myself as much as I can by saying “dang it to googlie!” I don’t feel the need to substitute Fuck off Fridays with anything that will not express my frustrations properly.
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Besides, the beauty lies in the “Fffffff”. There is no day of the week that starts with a "G". If you can get someone to change a day of the week to Getbentday. I’ll reconsider.
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Monday Tuesday Getbentday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday.
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You know what?? That has a nice ring to it! Who do I have to talk to to change the names of the days of the week? The pope? Cuz I’ll do it! I'd be able to say the following:
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“Oh! I see my doctor’s appointment is on Getbentday! I’m going to have to shower! Dang it to googlie!”
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“What day of the week is your birthday?” “Getbentday.”
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“Don’t worry boss, I’ll have this report done by Getbentday!”
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I smell a new Bee Campaign where I ask people to sign my petition!
Who’s with me??
I want all your signatures by Getbentday. fffffffff

P.S.

PLEASE CLICK ON HUMOR-BLOGS!

I have a little piece of information for you that will have Einstein rolling over in his grave and Brian rolling over on his couch.
Mariah Carey. Is naming her new album:


YES SHE SURE IS!!
E=MC2

She says it means "(E) Emancipation (=)of (MC) Mariah Carey (²) to the second power".[
This, after she brought us the masterpiece which was "Glitter". Then had a nervous breakdown!
Brother Dan (he loves her) had to point out that she has outsold Elvis. I had to point out that Elvis is, you know, DEAD! (or at least not putting out any more albums)
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Good news Britney! You too can outsell Elvis after you come back from your breakdown! Let Mariah be your role model.


Break the Ice