Tuesday, April 8, 2008

My threats are 47%- 56%- uh… 87% of the time idle. + Mariah Carey as my role model.

-Day 98- All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.- Aristotle
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Okay, I’ve been having a tough couple of weeks here at Arkham Asylum.
I alternate between pulling my hair out, grinding my teeth, biting my lip, and just plain running around screaming “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone cuz you won’t have someone to SHIT ON!”
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I’ve also said “The only thing keeping me here are the gas prices!”
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And “I should go work at the Zoo, at least its smells better!”
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Why people take me seriously is beyond my comprehension.
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To top it all off… MY FREAKIN’ COFFEE HAS BEEN GIVING ME HEARTBURN!
The cosmos are all lined up to make my life as unpleasant as possible!
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On a positive note, my garden is ready for the future little bug attractors to be planted!

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I got an email from somebody asking why I had to do Fuck Off Fridays On A Saturday.
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Why not make it “Get Bent Saturdays” that way you won’t have to curse so much.
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Ummmmm... huh! Well, I don’t think I curse enough as it is. I restrain myself as much as I can by saying “dang it to googlie!” I don’t feel the need to substitute Fuck off Fridays with anything that will not express my frustrations properly.
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Besides, the beauty lies in the “Fffffff”. There is no day of the week that starts with a "G". If you can get someone to change a day of the week to Getbentday. I’ll reconsider.
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Monday Tuesday Getbentday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday.
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You know what?? That has a nice ring to it! Who do I have to talk to to change the names of the days of the week? The pope? Cuz I’ll do it! I'd be able to say the following:
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“Oh! I see my doctor’s appointment is on Getbentday! I’m going to have to shower! Dang it to googlie!”
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“What day of the week is your birthday?” “Getbentday.”
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“Don’t worry boss, I’ll have this report done by Getbentday!”
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I smell a new Bee Campaign where I ask people to sign my petition!

Who’s with me??
I want all your signatures by Getbentday. fffffffff

P.S.
PLEASE CLICK ON HUMOR-BLOGS!

I have a little piece of information for you that will have Einstein rolling over in his grave and Brian rolling over on his couch.
Mariah Carey. Is naming her new album:


YES SHE SURE IS!!
E=MC2

She says it means "(E) Emancipation (=)of (MC) Mariah Carey (²) to the second power".[
This, after she brought us the masterpiece which was "Glitter". Then had a nervous breakdown!
Brother Dan (he loves her) had to point out that she has outsold Elvis. I had to point out that Elvis is, you know, DEAD! (or at least not putting out any more albums)
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Good news Britney! You too can outsell Elvis after you come back from your breakdown! Let Mariah be your role model.


Break the Ice

23 comments:

  1. You could make it Shit-a-Brick Shaturday.

    I always say I cuss so other people will look good.

    Poke

    ReplyDelete
  2. Was that you stopping people being first, Bee? It's a while since you've used the old dot trick...

    Do people take you seriously???

    Instead of changing the days of the week I think that it would be more fun to follow Poke's lead and find something to go with each day of the week, e.g, Muerde Monday, or whatever. Unfortunately, innocent as I am, I couldn't find any words for the other days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like it. I like it alot. Getbentday. Wonderful. Count me in on the petition. (do you know it just took me like twenty times to type petition? Rediculous!)
    Also, does saying Dang it to googlie really relieve anger? That's a lot like my yelling "God.....bless America!" Not a lot relieved there. Just wondering.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mariah beat Elvis in song going to number 1, nest up is the Beatles.

    You swear like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think "getbentday" would be a perfect day of the week followed by "fuckitallday", let's start that petition!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL.

    I saw a poster for the new Mariah CD and I admit..it was the best darned giggle I had all day.

    Send me the petition. I will sign. I need a getbentday!

    ReplyDelete
  7. who stole my anonymous . ?

    theif

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, Bee...I hope you look to the sky, raise your fists to the heavens, and THEN yell "dang it to googlie!"

    If you don't, I'm going to start, and I may toss in a "heck" with it. Stand back.

    I made a face when I saw that Mariah Carey down there. It might be stuck.

    ReplyDelete
  9. what's she being emancipated from? her lack of sense

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  10. How about "great googgily mooggily"

    I think saying these does relieve some stress or anger ‘cause then you can't help but laugh after you say it.

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  11. I lost interest in Mariah Carey back in 1993 somewhere.

    I'm just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to my trend-setting ways.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just because something is over-hyped to death doesn't mean that it's quality or even very good.

    This applies to Krispy Kreme donuts, Coldplay, R.E.M., Radiohead, Carraba's restaurant, NADS at-home bikini wax treatment, and Colin Farrell.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Alternatives to the F-word:
    Feck
    Frick
    Freakin
    Frackin
    Fookin
    Fan-doo-dly-doo-a-rific

    I have no idea where that last word came from.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I actually have a dentist appointment tomorrow, which if I'm not mistaken is Getbentday.

    I also think there is just something so satisfying about the word "fuck," that really nothing else will do in certain contexts.

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  15. I have an ultrasound on Getbentday...

    lol...lol I just realize GetBentDay puts a new twist on Hump Day!

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  16. It's the love and motivational uplifting advice that keeps me coming back here time and again!

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  17. E=MC2

    I came to enjoy the humor, not to try figure out the equation for Mariah Carey to the second power...ay ay ay! my head!

    *POOF*

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey! You could say Fark Friday!
    Fark Friday is kitten friendly and doens't give me nightmares...

    Freakin' Friday!
    See? It looks good too 0:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Proper Womer of actionApril 8, 2008 at 10:54 PM

    YEAH!

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.