Thursday, April 10, 2008

I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Please kiss my ass! ... I said please!

-Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever.- Michael Corleone

You know how I asked you guys SEMI-nicely to go to Diesel's and vote for me? Well, I didn't mean to be pushy. (much)

You guys know I have nothing going for me other than this blog right?
I mean I have nothing to look forward to... well other than my sister being due to deliver another little miracle and planning the baby shower.:

Isn't she a cutie??
Ha ha, you can't call this a mommy blog cuz there have been no bats in my belfry. No Eggs in my basket.

Other than that there's no other momentous occasion looming... Hmm, except my 7th anniversary on the 16th of this month.

Anyway, back to the the lobbying for votes. I haven't participated much because I could never come up with anything I THOUHT was funny. Then Diesel posted a picture of one of my favorite movies. A classic! I quote it ad nauseum much to the chagrin of one Andy Husband. (Leave the gun, take the cannolis.) So I took a shot.

When I found out I was a finalist, I was super excited. I had already done my post but added a paragraph asking you to go vote for me, your friend, your mentor, your Hero.

Imagine my surprise when someone named Stushie scolded me for it!
"Who is Stushie?" You ask.

I have no idea. None. Up until yesterday I didn't even know what a Stushie was. Still don't really.

Stushie's argument is that he/she (I'm really not interested enough to find out which) pastors (definition: a person having spiritual care of a number of persons) a church of 350 and writes something or other with 4000 readers but he/she is not angling for their votes.
So here we go again. People taking humor seriously.
Here I am, NEVER taking myself seriously.

I thanked this Stushie for coming on over to the Beehive and checking me out. Don't be mad at him/her. Don't go be mean either, be sad for him/her. Maybe he/she is in the same boat as me/I, lonely and afraid.
Now, to you, my friends, my little cuddly wuddly peeps.
If you'd like to change your vote, you may do so. With my blessing and my love. I
will not be upset if you vote for somebody else (I hope Stushie wins since he/she has been in the top 10, EIGHT times and never won).

I won't cry in a dark corner. I will not contemplate my reason for being while standing on the ledge of my office window (which is on the first floor). I will not drink TWO WHOLE cups of coffee if you change your vote. You know why? Because I do this everyday anyway! ;op

If you'd like to read Stushie's comments go

By the way, if I ever run for President of the good ole' U.S. of A., remind me not to ask my family and friends to vote for me. I wouldn't want to make the same embarrassing mistake AGAIN.

If I ever do become President, heaven help you all! Except for Stushie. I'll make him/her Ambassador of Whaaaville.

Look, little Sophia is sad for me too.

Don't click on Humor-Blogs for me!
Don't do it!


  1. Wow. That's a new one -- campaigning not to campaign.


  2. BTW, I stuck up for you in the MP comments. Actually, I made a snide remark to stushie that borders on pure evil genius, but in a way I was sticking up for you.


  3. LET ME TELL YOU S0METHING MISSY! I don't want you to stop asking for our votes, even though I called you a vote stalker only yesterday! I love you just the way you are! That's right, I love it! And I don't come over here to reach happy thoughts about somebody running through a field of flowers. I come over here for BEE. Don't let the opinion of one commenter who isn't even a regular here, to change what we all come here for!
    We come here to be told what to do, who to vote for, to read rants and raves, and get our daily fix of Bee. Don't screw that up for the rest of us because one guy/girl is a whiney baby because he can't get to the top of ten in eight trys.

  4. Ugh, I meant to READ happy thoughts.

  5. These voting things become less fun when people take them too seriously.

    Those ultrasound photos are great! The technology seems to have improved in the last 10 years - the ones of Helena were a lot less clear.

  6. I think stushe is a he not a she. Not sure if any she's are pastors.
    Love the pics. she looks like Nancy.
    If I was a pastor I'd be like, if you don't vote for me you're all going to HELL !!!!

  7. I thought her name was Sofia with an F and not the PH

  8. Sophia's so cute. she does look sad in those pics. I just barely missed that 3-d ultrasound with Lean.

    Isn't Stushie like raw fish or something?

    I'm voting for Kinky, Go Kinky!!

  9. Nancy:

    Hey, don’t vote for me if I run for Pres. okay? My platform is all about drugs and rock and roll.
    I read your comment and laughed but I’m wondering if anybody else will get it. Weird minds think alike ya’ know.

    I wonder what asking for guidance from him/her is like?

    Confused teen:
    Pastor Stushie, they pick on me at school and I don’t know what to do!

    Pastor Stushie:
    Stomp your feet and exclaim how life isn’t fair!!!

    I don’t know, I’m disappointed that people take things too seriously. It almost makes me wonder if they actually have a sense of humor.

    Don’t worry, I’m not being serious and will boss everybody around as I please. This is my attempt at reverse psychology. ;op
    Don’t be mad at Stushie, go ahead and vote for him/her. Maybe he/she will lighten up if he/she wins.

    Yup! Too true. Don’t vote for me if I run for Pres., okay? Oh wait you wouldn’t be able to anyway. Plus you’re gonna rule the world someday…

    Regarding little Sophia, it was an awesome experience!

    Pastors can be male or female. You’re thinking priest. He/she put a comment up about peeps going to hell if they didn’t change their votes. He/she took your advice! :o)


    jean knee:
    You would be sad too if something was poking at ya’.
    [that's what she said!]
    A blessed raw fish.

    HA HA! Can I talk you into voting for Stushie?? I feel bad that Stushie hasn’t won.

  10. When I voted for you, Stushie was in the lead.

    I voted along party lines, though.

    Conscience voting is for suckers!

    Oh, and congrats on #100!

  11. Hey as you learned at my Halloween party it's not always the best that wins, it's the most popular and you've got that one hands down.

    Love ya BEE-BEE

  12. Damon:
    Thanks for your vote! The check is in the mail! :o)
    I (can’t) promise no scandals!

    But did I throw a tantrum?? Nah, I didn’t I mocked myself as I like to do on a daily basis. It keeps me happy (in denial)!

  13. I just realized something after reading the MP comments....some people are spicier and funnier OUTSIDE of their blog.

    Why they can't channel the funny on to their blogs is a mystery.

  14. If I vote for you will you promise us more money earmarked for the development of comfortable bras?

  15. I think Stushie should save his humor-blog martyrdom for the pulpit.

    "Oh, congregation...if you loved me, your Pastor, you would give me a love offering by going to vote for me.....if you don't, then I completely understand. I'll be in the church rectory "checking" on our sacramental wine...."

  16. You need to go and campaign for Damon and eggsalady to be our new click buddies, Bee. I got Damon on board with me.

    This message has been brought to you by the Clicking Coalition For A Better America.

  17. "Stushie" is the Scottish word for starting a fight and I want to live up to my name.

    As for being a whiney preacher...hey, even Jesus wept!

    Anyway, the threat of excommunication and damnation hasn't been lifted, so if you've voted for someone else then you'd better bring along something for the BBQ.

    Blessings to you all (except for those who sinfully refuse to vote for me!)

  18. Stushie, like I said before, my spiritual guide used to be Tom Cruise.
    I am now handing the reins of my immortal soul to you. Please lead me down the right path. Don’t let me risk heaven by committing any of the 7 deadly sins.

    I encourage you to come back and continue to enlighten our lives with your wisdom.

    From now on, ask yourselves “WWSD?” What would Stushie do?

  19. Seven Deadly Sins, classification of sins: pride, avarice, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. There is no foundation in the Bible for this classification, but the above list has been found in the works of several spiritual writers and theologians, including Saint Thomas Aquinas, a leading Roman Catholic theologian during the 13th century. Aquinas slightly modified the earlier lists of Saint John Climacus and Saint Gregory the Great. These seven sins are not singled out because they are all grievous sins or because of their severity, but because they are the inevitable source of other sins.

  20. Elastic:
    Now I'm singing the Moulin Rouge song!
    gitchy gitchy ya ya ya ya!

  21. Ok, I’m like really getting irritate with this person.

    I mean, come on!

    If he/she is a pastor then why is this such a big deal? Should he/she not be looking to growing the congregation spiritually? And not saying vote for me or you’ll go to hell???? I know he/she is ignorant and I feel sad for those that are followers of he/she that go to he/she for guidance, because that is not how a church leader should act...

    Wait, maybe he/she leads one of those churches like the place they just raided in TX?

  22. WWSD ? halarious

    Nancy27 is it PH or F?

  23. I just clicked on Stuchie's blog and he/she has like 20 blogs!
    I think he/she is really a pastor cuase there was alot of praying stuff on there. Forgot to check for sex, I'll be back.....

  24. Well, that's a shame. Took all the fun out of it, don't you think? It's a shame when people can't just have fun. I sure don't see any harm in sending people over to vote for you. As a matter of fact, that's where I'm headed right now!

  25. You guys and gals are what keep me in business...thanks for the laughs and rebukes, folks.

  26. ohmygod - just when I was sooooo over the superdelegates, it seems like they are going to have to get in on this to help bring harmony back to the world. in know, I did get a forward the other day - something about stushie turning his back to the flag during the pledge while spotted leaving a mosque!?!

  27. Bee: No one ever gets me. That's why I'm still amazed every time I find a new comment from you on TPS.

    For the record, I really do think church officials should stay out of politics. And on the flip side politicians should stay out of church officials. But I have many opinions which the world probably don't care too much about.


    Am I spicier outside of my blog? Or do I taste bland? I haven't been marinating myself properly for a couple of years now.


    I actually did like your caption. Seems like your handling this with some humility and humor. Good for you.


  28. Donzer, don't belive a word of it. It's just another papal conspiracy brought about by the Spanish inquisition, which nobody expects...

    Hey, maybe we should get the old SI and Torquemada to fix the super delegate fiasco. They could do it at the Whitehouse and go waterboarding.

  29. Somewhere, angels are weeping. I, on the other hand, are voting for you again. Sophia looks like she's all "solidarity!" for her Aunt Bee.

    Which now makes me think of Andy Griffith. Which makes me think of "Annnddyyy!"

    Now angels are really crying.

  30. I forgot to comment on the ultrasound pictures, which are so awesome! I don't know why I didn't get to have one of those when I was preggers with Peter. I still got the old black and white one that looked like I was watching white noise on T.V.
    And I love her name! Peter was going to be a Sophia if he had been a she.

  31. The only reason to really have friends or family is so that they may give you some type of advantage at any competitive event.

    If they can't do that for ya its time to trade up & get new ones :)

  32. Pastor actually means "shepherd." :P

    I've got my ultrasound scheduled for May 2, can't wait!

  33. This post is a gem.
    Truly and 100%

    I'm saying this not because you are my hero, my mentor, my amiga and confidant, but because you are truly selfless and magnificent in your own right.

    A vote for Bee is a vote for puppies and kitties everywhere.

  34. BTW, Godfather I and II are the best movies ever made.

    "Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend."

  35. Nancy:
    That's why I say you always have my back! ;op

    I read "I forgot to check for sex" and I lost my fight with NOT spitting on my computer while laughing!!!

    Momo Fali:
    Thanks for your vote!
    A vote for Bee is a vote for Free Cheese!

    Y'all come back!

    what's a donzer:
    We need the dog whisperer guy!

    Hey! Whoever can't laugh at cannibalism is just plain off their rocker!

    jean knee:
    Nutin' honey.

    I'm gonna build my army via my nieces. I hope the rest of my family get crackin'!

    It was unbelievable! Natalia kept telling her "I'm your big sister and I'm going to be cool just like Tia Bee!" Hell yeah!

    Thanks for your vote babe!
    A vote for Bee brings you kisses!

    Congrats! You will be overwhelmed with emotion! I was and I don't have many of 'em to begin with!

    Thank you! ;op
    And you're right, those two were great! The third we don't talk about amongst ladies.

  36. The whole voting thing on all blogs (including my own)makes me uncomfortable. Someone voted for my post over at and said, "But I really did think it was funny." And I thought, isn't that the ONLY reason he should have voted for me? Then I realized that I'd ASKED my readers to vote for me so now I'm not gonna do that anymore. I want to get votes based on funny, not on begging. But don't listen to me, I'm high on Vicodin right now.

    Diesel's caption contest readers always pick out the funniest, no way to gack that up. And don't forget that he and his wife have final pick. I think.

  37. Suzy:
    I read the cheer-leading story and thought it was funny.

    Yeah, I usually vote at the ones that crack me up. In all honesty, Stushie's was the one that made me laugh but I don't practice fair voting. I'm all about the rigging! ;op

    I hear Vicodin MIGHT be addictive. Nothing is proven yet so I'm sure you'll be fine!

  38. I voted for Bee because she's always been there in my time of great need and crisis.

    May I call you Pastor Bee for the way you've ministered onto me?


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.