After being slimed by pink lipstick my last KM week I asked that everybody do their own freakin' dishes and Glynda agreed so she told me to print a sign and put it up by the kitchen sink.
I realize this sign does not say, forks, knives, spoons but you would think it's implied...
When the sign first went up there was great controversy.
There I was minding my bee's wax eating my lunch, listening to my tunes on my iPod, when they came at me with the gale force of a bad wind!
They of course being, Purple Dino-SOUR, Scarecrow and Toto, came in a pack so the nonsense they spewed was not easily identified as to who said what.
"who put it up?"
"whose idea was it?"
"well I never!"
Fuckin' Bats!
Cool Bee Running:
I mentioned it at meeting I told you guys I didn't appreciate getting slimed and doing your dishes. Why are you surprised?
Toto:
I don't mind doing other people's dishes.
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Cool Bee Running:
Well of course you don't but I am not your maid. Frankly I don't give a shit if it pisses you off.
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[they gasp] Oops! I said shit and pisses... :o)
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Nothing to do with the story but...every time I say "Oops" I'm reminded of John McClane saying "Oops! No bullets!" to Hans Gruber in Die Hard. Go figure.
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Luckily for me I had brought back the stupid kitchen towel thing otherwise they might have lynched me. Or died trying.
"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"
I know, I know. I should get a life.
B@@bs part 2
I was debating if I should share this story since I believe I've embarrassed myself enough but... I have no shame!
I went to refill my water bottle at the water cooler thing. I was wearing a nice somewhat conservative blouse not too V-Necked but I was very self-conscious of over exposure so I kept looking around making sure no one was coming down the hall as I was bent forward.
ALL OF A SUDDEN! (do you notice how everything is "all of a sudden" in my life?)
OZ walks into the room and I was so startled...
My hand...
jerked up...
and spilled the water...
all over...
the front of my...
light pink...
thin peasant blouse...
so...
over exposure galore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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OZ ran to get me paper towels. I'm just thankful he didn't try helping me dry.
::sigh::
Does anybody know of any job openings anywhere? Mc Donald's? Car Wash?
Maybe I can post my Resumé on Monster with the title:
"Flashing a Strong Possibility" :o(
@@
ReplyDeleteI would love....or hate to work with you. or at least as a very wise person would say "be a fly on the wall!"
ReplyDeleteM
After reading all of your latest posts I came to a sudden realization.....I REALLY MISSED YOU!!!!! You're such a bad ass.
ReplyDeleteDry Hard:
ReplyDeleteThey're so scared they're going round in gangs now? Well done!
Wet Look:
And you still haven't got that raise? I dread to think what you'll try next ;-)
Career Openings
The catering trade is always looking for dishwashers...
Foot Fetish:
ReplyDeleteI've got it! Start going to work in old trainers, then persuade Oz to give you a shoe allowance...
I know, right? Shouldn't we be like numero uno by now?!!? They should take the crappy blogs that don't update or have gone into hibernation off the list. What is Mischief, Kinda Kitschy, and Zoming Out Again doing on there when they're inactive blogs? I'm getting my ass beat by ghost blogs....it hurts my pride, you know?
ReplyDeleteCLICKETY!
Eager office wet T-shirt participant will give you that extra oomph in a job interview, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm scared of you. If I worked in your office I'd bring my own stack of paper plates and plastic utensils stolen from Taco Bell.
ReplyDeletewell that is just too much. they better stop messing with my bee.
ReplyDeletethings could always be worse, how?
here's how:
the custodians at my school never actually cleaned which wasn't so bad cause all I had was a sink in my room, I can clean that, no problem. The restrooms were down the hall and I didn't actually go in there so, that was okay. But then we built a new school and had one restroom in each room, boys and girls. They did have the foresight to tile the floor, walls and all because boys of five years old can't aim and they get distracted...gross
so I bought my own mop and jumbo sized Mr. Clean and mopped down the whole thing, floor to ceiling every day. gross gross
the good thing is it was so small I didn't have to actually go in there, just stood outside the door and thrust the mop around. gross gross gross
what were you saying about lip stick slime? doesn't seem so bad now huh?
You can work for me! I need someone with your style to put the orangutans in my office in their place!
ReplyDeletebee, I haven't been slapped all day, ...it's just not right
ReplyDeleteM:
ReplyDeleteLet’s go with the love, you would love to work with me… :o)
somegirl:
We missed you too! “Bad Ass” a compliment from one BA to another! :o)
Brian: x2
Hyenas/Bats
Yeah, my "street cred" shows that they can’t call me out one on one. I can take it.
Foot Fetish = Raises:
I think I’m going to try flying under the radar for the next couple of months. I don’t even want to think of the word “raise” after this! Although the shoe allowance is an interesting thought… :o)
Dish Pan Hands:
I’m now a pro dishwasher so I guess I should look into this as a career change.
EWBL: x3
Blogs:
Yeah wuz up with that? We should send the MP mean e-mails!
I think you’d be on my side! Besides since you and I have “kinship” I’d wash your dishes no prob!
jean knee:
Do worry about me, worry about them. They’re crazy but as you and I have established, I’m insane. I dish out my own brand of justice!
P.S.
Now I know where you got your experience in the pissoir department! :o)
Anon:
Important question, these orangutans (hard word to spell!), are they the ones that have the red butts? Cuz they make me giggle!
jean knee:
ReplyDelete*SLAPPED!*
jean knee:
ReplyDeleteit's supposed to say "don't worry about me"
The Outrage!!!
ReplyDeleteuhmm, I meant
The Horror!!
LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteSOOOO WAS THE WATER COLD?
Oh Yeah!
Last night during dinner I brought up what happened, of course I was cracking up and Bee was embarrassed, brother Dan asked Bee if she was wearing a BRA!!!
LMAO!!! Of course it made Bee turn even deeper shades of RED!!!
nancy:
ReplyDeleteYes the water was cold, thanks for asking! :o)
RE: Brother Dan
At least he thinks I'm straight now.
[--not that there's anything wrong with it!--]
I bet it was “NIPPY” in there!
ReplyDeleteAnon:
ReplyDeleteAs cold as a witches teet!