Thursday, August 16, 2007

Duties of a Kitchen Marm:

Washing doctors’ (coffee cup, water glass, forks, knives, yup glorified maids we are)

(You are not responsible for washing other people’s dishes but guess what winds up happening? All the mother effin bats leave their mugs and other dishes for each other and me to do. When I first started it was made very clear to me that we were to wash our own dishes. I understood so I keep my cup at my desk at all times and wash it myself.)

Clean the tables, counter, microwave, stock paper towels, make coffee.

and of course bring treats…

Well I was “reprimanded” my last time as KM because I had never taken the dish towel home to wash, I was not even aware we had to...


I took the flippin dish towel home and used it to dust my china cabinet, my blinds, my dressers I twirled it to make it tight and snap Tazz (did not hit him just did the air above him). After all that, I forgot to put it in with the laundry and it’s sitting in my back porch.

Flash forward to today’s meeting…

Toto: (other nurse who I never really talk about because she hardly ever bothers me and is a people pleaser but on this occasion she did bother me and displeased me)

‘I couldn’t help but notice that the blue dish towel was last seen on the week you were KM, now it’s gone…?’ (last seen, as if it were on the run… with my shoe?)

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘Blue dish towel, what blue dish towel?’

Toto: ‘The one with little roses on it…?’

In the meantime everybody is looking at me so I decide to come clean… I mean what can they do right?

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘Oh yeah, you know what I guess I forgot to bring it back. Oops, sorry!’

Lord have mercy on my soul for when I finally drop dead from “office political exhaustion” (very rare disease, not surprised you haven’t heard about it.)

Toto, Scarecrow, PD: ‘garble garble brugga brugga garble rabble

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘I didn’t understand what you guys said, can you attack me one at a time please?’

Scarecrow: ‘Do you think you can write yourself a note for tomorrow?’

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘Sure, what do you want the note to say?’ [big smile]

Scarecrow: ‘Well… to bring the towel back.’

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘So you want the note to say “to bring the towel back”?’ [Pretend writing it down on my hand, I say pretend because I had no writing utensils]

Toto: ‘It can say whatever will remind you to bring it back.’

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘Right, but I need you guys to direct me… I’m not sure I can get thru this on my own…’ [angelic look]

[In the background you hear Glynda snickering]

Toto: ‘Are you just toying with us?’

Cooler than Ice Cubes Bee: ‘No, if this is important enough to bring up during a business meeting then I really want to work at never ever upsetting you guys, cross my heart!’

Glynda: ‘Okay, let’s move on. She’ll bring it back eventually. If she forgets then I’m sure she’s not going to use it as a dust rag.’


The meeting concluded with them devouring delicious snackies, Taco Dip (with tortilla chips not butter-freekin-crackers) and a nice Cinnamon Crumble cake made by my own little… supermarket! :op

Not that you’ll be upset but, no posting will be made tomorrow (no Nancy, do not even try the guilt) since I’ve looked at my agenda and will actually have to get some work done before I meet with OZ.

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. LMAO!!!!

    Don't those ladies know better than to mess with you??

    Maybe you should never ever bring that towel back again...

  2. I don't know why you bother with all that crap (unless it's to entertain your readers, in which case please ignore me). You'd think everyone would be sick of arguing about housework as home, never mind doing it at work. Make sure you get the dog to chew the tea towel before you take it back...

    We have a "milk club" at work. I don't participate, but there are arguments because one guy works late on Fridays, so wants to buy milk on Friday pm that he'll only take a small bit out of, only for it to be going off by Monday, etc, etc - all over 40p!

    I hope you realise that some of your readers are rapidly becoming addicted to their daily blog fix (not me, of course, but other people), and will be traumatised? Not that you should feel guilty, though...

  3. nancy:
    you've met them, should I post their picture so people can see them...?

    I think because I have the ability to step outside of myself, I delude myself into thinking I'm watching a sitcom and just relay the outrageousness of these situations so that people can learn from them...? I guess "delude" is the operative word here. :o)

    RE: the milk
    Beleive it or not that has happened here too. My solution, I buy my own (powder style) and keep it at my desk.

    You know it gives me great pleasure to think people are reading about them without their knowledge and well... laughing with me.

    Re: the daily blog
    I have a couple of other small work stories that happened today. I'll post them tomorrow cuz they involve the universe getting even with me. I guess I can't resist the guilt! :op

    By the way, can you give more details as to how to order "Concettism"?
    Sounds... interesting.

  4. to know one in particular:
    what is my problem? I always spell "believe" wrong...

  5. I always get "recieve" wrong...

    I forgot to say congratulations for your (well deserved) Word Imperfect victory.

    Your definition today reminds me of the famous seaside postcard of a man standing by a wishing well holding a miniature grand piano complete with player in his hand, and shouting into the well: "Are you deaf? I didn't say a 10 inch pianist!"

  6. what happened to the funny brownies?

  7. brian:
    the trick for receive is
    i before e except after c "
    I know I should use this theory too but for some reason…?

    Thanks! I don’t know why but it totally makes my day when I win. Weird!

    RE: wishes
    You know what I always say that nobody gets? “I said peanuts!”

    It always cracks me up but people just look at me funny.

    It could be because I yell it out at odd moments, like in the middle of a meal at a nice restaurant…

    We’s too old for that shiz! :op

    there’s nothing worse than an
    old geezer talking like that! ---^


  9. nancy:
    maybe I'll put it up for One day (tomorrow) and then take it down... :o)

  10. ok, i have a plan. Replace the plain blue kitchen towel with some kind of humorous towel. Maybe one with a naked guy on it, or that crabby little old lady (can't think of her name), something that will really throw them off and be sorry for making such a big stinkin deal about it. (i'm going to look for one)

    oh, and i say (in a chant) "post the picture, post the picture, post the picture"

  11. esmeralda:
    You are brilliant! And also an excuse to go sh-sh-sh-opp-opp-ing!

  12. I just used the towel to clean up Mocha's breakfast....@ 5 p.m.!!!

    You sure have interesting meetings, at mine we just talk about chicks lol

  13. ANDY!:
    you... talk... about...WHAT???!!

    Oh... I know. you mean the rest of the guys, right? Not you right?

  14. Andy means the chicken's offspring silly!! They talk about the offspring of chickens...chicks!! How cute and fluffy they are, how they all wish they had pet chicks as children, etc. That's what they talk about all day long...right Andy?

  15. Yeah......that'


  16. esmeralda:
    You are either with me or against me! ;op

    Picture Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents.
    "I'll be watching you!"

  17. Ol' hens got nothin' better to do.

    Your post made me laugh!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.