I'll Make You Jealous...

So there I am sitting at my desk looking out my window. The same window where people stare at me as if I were a crazy attraction in a bizarre zoo. Usually I give them a good show and I stick my tongue out at them and put my thumbs in my ears while I wiggle my fingers. Today is no different!

How was I to know my life would change so dramatically in a matter of seconds...


Suddenly I see a State Trooper pull up.
He comes into the office and shouts my name.

Did I hide my pot??? Of course!

Terrified, I walk to the waiting room and identify myself.
He's a nice looking guy so I don't mind too much when he frisks me.
He then tells me that he has a package for me which I need to open in his presence.
He hands me a plastic coffee can.

Huh?

It was wrapped in tape and had been confiscated from a mail truck for being a suspicious package.


He told me to open it carefully and step away slowly once I did.
I do as I'm told since the big man has a big gun.

I gasp as I look inside...
Is that a baby?
Are those shells?
And a button?
And a domino?
In a box of matches?
A book marker?
With a little fan?
With a little clothes pin?
In a Ziploc bag?
In a coffee can?


Yup!


I got this from my favorite stalker... my only stalker!
Are you jealous?
Would you like to send me something too?

Thank you stalker!
These items will be treasured forever inside my favorite voodoo doll!