Saturday, September 1, 2007

Enough fantasy back to reality!

Let's talk about Friday!

Right before I left for work my sister called me.

The following conversation took place between the hours of 8:03 and 8:05 A.M

Sister Nancy:
Don't take "G" to work it's backed up. No accident that I can see it's just not moving, there's allot of traffic.

Cool Drink of Water Bee:
Thanks Sis! May Rainbows and Happiness follow you on this blessed day!
(What you don't believe I said that? I guess you know me better than I thought!)

The following conversation took place between the hours of 8:05 and 8:07 A.M.

Cool Drink of Water Bee:
Dearest Husband, can you please restrain our beloved pets so that they don't take a piece of my leg as I'm walking out the door?
(He was off today)

Grumpy Gus:

Cool Drink of Water Bee:
Oh dear! My love, I'm afraid little Mocha has followed me out, can you please come get her? I'm running extremely late. Thank you Darling!

The following conversation took place between the hours of 8:07 and 8:10 A.M.

Cool Drink of Water Bee talking to herself.

Oops! I must make a U-turn I forgot I wasn't supposed to take "G" street.
Oh... here comes a School Bus, I'll just let him go ahead of me...
Umm... he has an opening why isn't he turning?
Oh there he goes! Okay my turn!
Oh Lord he's making every stop between here and Mississippi!
Breath Breath Breath.
Oh good here is "B" street!
Oh no! The bus is turning too!
Okay hopefully it won't turn onto "P" street...
Is that his left turn signal?

As both the bus and a Blue Sonata (driven by a girl who could not be sweeter) turn onto "P" street, we see a fleet (yes I said fleet!) of school buses on "P" street...

Breath Breath Breath

The following conversation takes place between the hours of 8:10 and 8:16

Cool Drink of Water Bee talking to herself.

Breath Breath Breath
I am literally 2 minutes away from work and this same EFFIN bus that I let go ahead of me is still making every freakin' stop!
Breath Breath Breath
Finally I can make a right turn here and the rest is gravy...
Oh no... please don't turn here! please don't... yup! He's freakin turning here!
Okay now I'm 1 minute away from the office it's okay...
Breath Breath Breath

half a block away from the office

Okay he's picking up some kids we should be moving soon...
Okay he's talking to some moms...
Okay he's still talking to some moms...
Okay now moms are yelling something...
Okay I think he moved an inch oh wait he just turned on his hazard signals...!
Maybe I can park and just walk to work...?
Oh we're finally mov-... nope!
Ah! Here we go!

The following conversation took place between the hours of 8:16 and 8:18

Good a spot right in front of the door! Nice!
Okay grabbing my purse and lunch bag... huh? What the... crap! Where's my freakin cell phone! I just took a picture with it...!
Here it is...
Hot shoes + running = BAD!
Woowhoo! Only 18 minutes late I broke my record!

The End!

The reason I had to share this story?
Well... I wanted to make you jealous that it still only took me about 11 minutes to get to work!

Did I mention I was wearing some kick ass sunglasses? No?
Well they made me look mahvelouhs!

Kids lives were never in danger since I am a very cautious driver. I obeyed all traffic laws and speed limits...

The only one in danger was the bus driver.


  1. I'm sorry to hear you had such a difficult time getting to work. You should try living closer. My 10 minute walk (flat door to office desk) via the park was uneventful as usual :-)

    We don't have any rules about not passing school buses here, though we do have lollipop ladies instead - Apparently you're not supposed to mow them down.

  2. [covering my ears closing my eyes]

    La La La La La not listening...(uh reading) to someone else's comments who happen to have a better commute!

    Did you know it's not nice to BRAG? It's just plain rude! :op

    What are "lollipop ladies"?

    I'm picturing super skinny women with big heads!

  3. No, it's not nice to brag - someone may have a better one!

    Lollipop ladies are ladies (or men) in fluorescent jackets who are provided by the council to help children cross busy roads on their way to and from school. They carry a stop sign, which is round, and so looks like a giant lollipop.

    Lollipop lady

  4. I worked with a guy in my chicken slinging days that lived across the street from the restaurant.
    We hated him and would often lock him in the walk in freezer...

    RE: Lollies
    Not what I had pictured at all, I learn something new everyday!

  5. maybe your conversations with yourself should start at 7:30, that way you'll get to work on time with or without traffic!

    -BIG DAD

  6. BIG DORK:
    Me getting to work on time would take away from uniqueness...

    Sunday huh?

  7. I bet the Invisible Man doesn't have to deal with these little annoyances of life........

    Okay I read a joke that cracked me up and I've had Incisible Man on the brain for a few days now.

    Superman looks down and with his X-Ray Vision spies WonderWoman on her bed, naked, and spread-eagle. He laughs, and decides to go down for a little sumthin sumthin at record speed before she even knows it was him. He does...... The Invisible Man was sore for a week afterwards.

  8. I wanted to tell that joke at our church lady scrapbooking night, but then i decided to save it just for you, Bee.

  9. elasticwaistbandlady:
    That was effin hilarious!

    "Bee's Musings", the place where you can come and talk about male intercouse (outer-course?) between comic book heroes...


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