Thursday, September 27, 2007

I've Got Chills! They're Multiplying! It's Electrifying!

So…

Thursdays, besides being treat days, are also staff meeting days.
We all meet, OZ is never present for these since he doesn’t know he has an office staff and assumes everything gets done by fairies (well 6 ogres and 1 beautiful fairy), anyway this meeting should only take 10 minutes (10!) but it usually takes about 30… today’s took 1 hour and 5 minutes (checked the time before I left my desk)!!!

We had to hear about Purple Dino-SOUR’s daughter who is pregnant, did you know her morning sickness is at night?? It seems her hormones are out of whack because she cries if she can’t find a shoe (news flash: me too)! Boy am I glad they make her come in at 8 on Thursdays just for these meetings! [heavy sarcasm]


We had to talk about Cowardly Lion's son who is working in India for a month so everybody had to know what he wears…?

Scarecrow’s sons, Bert and Ernie, are fine and love lobster.

Milton’s daughter got back with her boyfriend but they’re still struggling.

Toto's grandkids will be with her this weekend and they will probably torture her cat...

Et-freakin-cetera!

Finally, since I felt like I had to say something…

Bee:
“Wow! You know what I just realized? All of you are my mom’s age or older… you could have had a daughter just like me!” [Big smile saying “huh? huh? whadda ya think?]

They all shivered! All of them! :o)

The meeting ended…



Evil payback project of the day:

Unplug the copy machine and see how long it takes them to find out what’s wrong.

26 comments:

  1. Those beasts!!
    I would love to have a daughter like you.



    (no I wouldn't)

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  2. I just wrote a really long comment and blogger ate it. too long to re-do

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  3. okay, I counted 7 comments. therefore I can live another day.
    close call

    The Horror!!!

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  4. yeah those rocher things are good.

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  5. Bee: A couple of cheery thoughts:

    Age of consent/marriage = 16, + 9 months is nearly 17, so you could have been a grandmother by now ;-)

    They'll get their revenge: When they retire they'll be replaced by their children, who'll be exactly the same...

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  6. You know a great evil office project? If someone has a really old keyboard you can pop out the letters and pop them back in. You can also switch them in them. The best ones to switch are the m and the n. Just subtle enough they'll probably not notice it for a while, but it'll seriously mess up everything they type. Just imagine this with all the ms substituted for ns and vise versa! (I have been the victim of this one- it is EVIL)

    Another great thing to do is put a single piece of clear tape over the Ctrl key so it's always being held down. The every letter the victim types becomes a command, so things will be popping up asking them if they want to print and paste random phrases and cutting stuff from documents and copying them into random other places and running random programs, until they see the tape. (I have done this one- it is FUNNY)

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  7. Evil Keyboards: That's not evil enough, especially for those of us who type properly. What you really need to do is completely remap the keyboard so that all the keys come out in a different order - I've heard of this being done...

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  8. jean knee:
    I am an angel of a daughter, you can ask my mom… visiting hours at the home I have her in are between 1-5.

    Brian:
    As usual you shock the hell out of me! I’d rather eat glass than think about being a GRANDMOTHER.
    And age of consent marriage is 18 here…! 16?? I was still throwing spitballs at 16. Who am I kiddin’ I’m still throwing spit balls now!

    De-evolutionized workforce:
    Yeah, I think I made up that word but it does describe any offspring had by the bats.

    Chris:
    My keyboard is new but everybody else’s is ancient! I’ll try the “m” “n” thing next week! Thanks! ;o)

    Brian:
    RE: Remap Keyboard
    Are you speaking Greek again?

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  9. Angel of a Daughter:

    I presume that's a typo and should have been the other way round??

    Pot/Kettle:

    I shock you? Ha Ha!

    Remap Keyboard:

    Not Greek, Geek ;-)

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  10. Oh you nasty, nasty people; And me with a new office based job. They'll hate me within the week.

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  11. The Horror!!!!!

    I just realized I missed the preemie of the Office.

    why why why did this happen?

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  12. I came to comment and passed out in my rocking chair/computer chair. That'll teach me for only sleeping 3 hours in two days.

    I know. I saw the ranking! Onwards and upwards, says I!

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  13. I personaly would not like to have you as a daughter, however you could be my big sister, by nine or ten months of course! Not to displace my other big sister.

    M

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  14. Q. How many bats does it take to fix a copy machine???


    M

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  15. Q. And how long did it take?

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  16. brian:
    What are you saying?
    That I should have typed "angel a of daughter"?
    That just doesn't make any sense here in the US.

    P/K:
    To quote jean knee,
    "hmmmm..." (yeah, she has a way with words right?)

    Magdalene:
    Let me know once you've been there a year or so... we'll turn you to the dark side! :o)

    jean knee:
    go to nbc.com, you can watch it there.

    EWBL:
    Yikes! Get some sleep!
    {at our age never admit to owning a rocking chair}

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  17. M: x3
    RE: daughter/sister
    :o)

    RE: Amount of bats
    4

    RE: Time
    3.5-ish hours.
    Since the copy machine is next to my desk, I got sick of them standing so close to me so I finally asked them if they'd checked the plug.

    They laughed hysterically at their own stupidity.

    Interestingly enough (to me), I was over the joke and was more annoyed than they were... ???

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  18. I think you need to fart during one of these 'meetings' Seeing as they are all having long, excruciating mental flatulance that YOU have to endure, why not return the favor?? Literally...what'cha think? Sounds like a plan.

    By the way I have a funny workplace bathroom story/situation that I think you'd find interesting....wanna hear it?

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  19. And about The Evil Copy Machine Payback Plan: I'd rethink it. They'll probably want to have another meeting about it...then get sidetracked and rant ad nauseam about coupons and lima beans.

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  20. I'm thinking of doing a post about belly button lint. whatcha think?

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  21. somegirl:
    Hell yeah I wantta hear the pot story!!

    Yeah the damn plan backfired!


    jean knee:





    .

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  22. Oh, I know lots more bad computer tricks, but they're all require lots of explaining and geeky knowledge.

    Maybe I'll do a post on one one day.

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  23. My rocking chair is my computer chair. Didn't you see my shiny Rocker Girl Award? Well, that's what it's for. I'm a rockin in my rockin chair, straight-up Meemaw style, yo!

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  24. chris:
    I would take tons of notes if you did.

    EWBL:
    Oh... then you're cool again!

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.