**Warning for Men you might not want to read this since it might contain TMI regarding women stuff!**
So there I was sitting at my desk minding my own business. I was kind of sleepy I won’t lie to you, a little distracted, disinterested in my surroundings etc.
I reached over to grab a chart when all of a sudden I felt this horrible stabbing pain! WTF! The bats got me! They’re trying to stab me to death!
No!
I’m too youngish to die!!
Oh… wait.
It’s just the under-wire of my bra digging a hole on the side of my boob. The freakin’ thing has broken in half and come out of the seam and nearly killed me!
Why do we pay so much money for these damn things if they’re gonna be so generic? I paid $30 ($30!) for this stupid thing and now I’m walking around with a wad of tissue so it doesn’t continue torturing me.
It’s not like I can ask to go home based on a boob injury... well maybe I can but then I’d have to admit what my problem is and that would be pretty embarrassing. Kind of like telling the world I stuff my bra!
Uh… yeah I guess I’m doing that now but you need to be part of my happiness and pain.
So there I was sitting at my desk minding my own business. I was kind of sleepy I won’t lie to you, a little distracted, disinterested in my surroundings etc.
I reached over to grab a chart when all of a sudden I felt this horrible stabbing pain! WTF! The bats got me! They’re trying to stab me to death!
No!
I’m too youngish to die!!
Oh… wait.
It’s just the under-wire of my bra digging a hole on the side of my boob. The freakin’ thing has broken in half and come out of the seam and nearly killed me!
Why do we pay so much money for these damn things if they’re gonna be so generic? I paid $30 ($30!) for this stupid thing and now I’m walking around with a wad of tissue so it doesn’t continue torturing me.
It’s not like I can ask to go home based on a boob injury... well maybe I can but then I’d have to admit what my problem is and that would be pretty embarrassing. Kind of like telling the world I stuff my bra!
Uh… yeah I guess I’m doing that now but you need to be part of my happiness and pain.
LMAO!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou should pull the whole thing out!!! Then you will have a limpy boob!
I.BEG.YOUR.PARDON!?!?
ReplyDeleteLimpy Boob sounds like a band name.
I like it!
Scaffolding:
ReplyDeleteA couple of (male) designers here did a TV show, and one week they looked at this, and redesigned them to use single pieces of plastic, which in addition to not stabbing anyone would also be washing machine safe (when I was married my other half wrecked a washing machine when a wire came out during the spin cycle).
Presumably there are also issues in thuderstorms...
brian:
ReplyDeleteI noticed you didn't say the word "bra"...
Thunderstorm related fried chicks:
Never thought about it that way maybe somebody sould have told Ben Franklin, it would have funnier to see a kite with a bra at the end of it rather than a key.
Well, I was trying to be delicate, as usual.
ReplyDeletebra bra bra bra bra
a bra cada bra
It's not a very google-able word, though...
notice brian kept reading even though you had that man warning?
ReplyDelete"my other half wrecked a washing machine when a wire came out during the spin cycle" hmm sounds like something that may happen around bee's house a lot.
really I didn't click over to needle anyone, but i can only restrain certain impulses-sorry
to make up for it, brian you can correct inacuracies on my blog
and bee can slap me around some more
THE HORROR!
WHAT KIND OF BRA'S DO YOU BUY?
ReplyDeleteMAYBE I SHOULD TAKE YOU SHOPPING :)
brian:
ReplyDeleteDelicate-cy:
Has no place on this blog.
I'm surprised you're complaing about googling "bra" you'd figure the images that came up would be worth it! :op
jean knee:
No washing machine breakdowns due to bra wires. They have been known to tanlge themselves around the spinny thing though!
Nancy:
I am old enough to shop for my unders by myself thank you very much!
Don't they all have underwires? Now I'm confused!
:op
I think you should pull it out... The wire of course...
ReplyDeleteTHINK ABOUT IT...
You bump in to the doctor in the hall and them all of a sudden as you two look at each other something comes out and you feel it coming out from under your shirt but you can’t stop it, before you know if you hear the wire fall on the floor and it clangs...
Doctor stops and bends down to pick it up, you try to beat him to it because you don’t want him to know or TOUCH it..
You bend down also, then before you know it your B O O B pops out and he is mesmerized by the view...
You turn bright red pick the wire up and then give him a "CURTSY" careful this time to keep it all in...
Ladies and gents, My little sister!
ReplyDeleteOMG!
I AM SPEECHLESS!!
WAIT A MINUTE I FEEL SOMETHING COMING…
NOPE!
I GOT NOTHING!
AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
ReplyDeleteI mean I don't want to brag but...
ReplyDeleteWell maybe I'd get a raise...?
ReplyDeleteor HE might get a "RAISE"
ReplyDeleteIn order for me to get that image out of my head I am now picturing him in drag wearing my 4 inch black patent stiletto heels…
ReplyDeleteBEE...
ReplyDeleteI'M IN SHOCK!!! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED THAT KIND OF THING...
TMI... TMI!!!
Money is money honey...
ReplyDeleteNancy, you are TOO FUNNY!!!! You had me cracking up from the beginning..."limpy boob".
ReplyDeleteBee, just pull the wire out! Or both, so that the limpy boob isn't too noticeable. $30 for a bra? The out rage! Start shopping at Marshall's--you'll never pay $30 there.
Esmeralda:
ReplyDeleteLet’s not start rumors, there is no limp here…
Unfortunately [fortunately for Andy?] for me Marshall’s does not carry my size…
How’s that for TMI?
A while back, I had a problem similar to Jean's washing machine experience. My machine had started making a horrile rattling sound as though it was about to fall apart. Being paranoid and not too technically minded I called out the nice washing machine repair man, who within seconds of arrival had produced a bra underwire which he held up with a wry grin. My daughter and I were mortified. How embarrassing was that? It was obvious that one of us had been going around for sometime with monotitsag, which is of course the correct term for the slang term 'limpy boob.'
ReplyDeleteMagdalene:
ReplyDelete"monotitsag" BWHAHAHA!
Ladies, you have now been introduced to a cool new word!
Let us all bow our heads!
This is why I try to avoid anything with wires...
ReplyDeleteLimpy Boob sounds like a great band name- if anyone could ever get past the name, that is.
Nancy27, you cracked me up with your scene. I love it..
And what you said you were imagining cracked me up even more, Bee! Watching me wear high heels is like a free comedy show. My feet just flat can't handle them. I trip and fall flat on my face more than I stay upright. And don't even mention the time I tried to walk with them in a fancy dress on a cobblestoned street... I may never recover from that.
Magdalene! You have officially invented an awesome word... I bow to thee.
ReplyDeletewell bee, at least you have something to see. when my boob was ripped out at typhoon lagoon no one even noticed. no one, ziltch
ReplyDeleteI Don't mean to brag but all the stores carry my size, even the Junior miss dept.
is that really your little sis??
monotitsag , yes, interesting
I've had 'mono' many times...
ReplyDeleteMine has loose elasticy stringy thingies all over it.....like stretchy hairs growing out of the side of my bras.
ReplyDeleteKnow what else? Some of my brassieres are hand-me-downs. Yeah I wear second hand titty holders. My mom lost weight and gave me her fat lady bras.......she gained all the weight back. Serves her right.
chris:
ReplyDeleteJust to give you a better picture of OZ in drag picture Philip Seymour Hoffman. They could be twins!
Yeah the drag thing was suggested by Brian, it tends to make my mind wander!
jean knee:
Not a bad thing you could probably buy them on sale in the back too school department! :o)
EWBL:
Mono:
Stop kissing random strangers!
New search that will bring you to my blog "hairy boobs".
i would like to share my traumatic monotitsag story...
ReplyDeleteimagine a regular day at work waiting on customers, and gossiping with coworkers. then imagine something continuously poking you in your neck. and now the horror when you discover that the poking is being caused by your treacherous underwire which has had the audacity to show itself through the top of your shirt?
it doesn't get much worse than that.
jai
LMAO!!!!
ReplyDeleteJAI THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! I MEAN THAT SUCKS!!!!
I’ve had something similar happen to me many moons ago!!!
ReplyDeleteI was wearing knit sweater, walking around the mall then I look down and there it was… nice and shiny and long sticking out about 3-4 inches curving and sticking out… I tried to pull it out I was soooo embarrassed but it was not coming out, it got stuck!!!
Had to run to the washroom and cut it out...
Ok girls, thanks for the official adoption of my terminology, but there is actually something worse than monotitsag. I had the misfortune to encounter this sorry item sitting in a puddle of beer next to an ashtray during a night out some months ago. It was a monofilletflop, and very nasty it was too. Though we all agreed at the time, that the unfortunate depositer of said MFF probably looked nastier. It was great for table charades though.
ReplyDeleteMagdalene:
ReplyDeleteHuh??? Will you please explain? I'm a little confused....
Jai:
ReplyDeleteDear lord woman! I know (how to put this delicately?) it must have been one ginourmous wire... :o)
Anon:
I think that same thing happened to me! Mall, sweater and all! Weird...
Magdalene:
So were you slapping each other with it?
Sounds like you're tons of fun! :o)
Oh dear I hoped to spare you the indelicacy of a description. You know Nancy... one of those squishy grey chicken fillets thingies. And very cold and icky it was too, but yes Bee, it's amazing what an amusing missile it made to four somewhat innebriated adults.
ReplyDeleteMagdalene:
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA! I had to e-mail my little sister to tell her what it was and those were my exact words!
LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for that... I didn't know what it was...
I guess since I don't need to use one... :)
Little sis, peeps are gonna think we a family of braggerts! :o)
ReplyDeleteAs Jean Knee would say:
ReplyDeleteThe OUTRAGE!
I think underwire bras were invented by men for two reasons:
1)to hold our business up and make it look good (some need more help than others).
2)to poke us around here and there and remind us why we need them (the bras of course)
M
.....anyway underwire makes boobies look good but try the amazing six (6) bra by cacique available at lane bryant. this bra will make any set of boobs look AMAZING!!! and they are always worth every penny!
ReplyDeleteM
M:
ReplyDeleteAfter doing some research I found out that there are some bras that don't have underwires!
Yeah, they have duct tape instead. Wonder which hurts more...?
OUCH!!
ReplyDelete