My Inner Child Criticized By a 4 Year Old

So...
We took advantage of our day off yesterday and went to visit our friend in the hospital. Since her immune system is non existent at the moment, she could only see my niece thru a window on her door. The rest of the time my sister and niece were in the cafeteria.
After about an hour, I came out and told my sister I'd watch Natalia while she visited our friend.
I sat next to my niece and said,

Cool Tia Bee:
Do you want me to color with you shoogie boogie? (I call her "shoogie boogie" because her parents made me stop calling her "sugar booger"...?)
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She picked a little boy and a little girl in the snow and said we should color them together.
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Natalia:
Here, this one seems easy. You can help me with this one.
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Cool Tia Bee:
What does that mean? That I don't know how to color?
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Natalia:
No, it means you never finish coloring the pages you start then I have to go back to re-do them.
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At 4 she sounds like her mother and my mother!
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Cool Tia Bee:
Which one should I color?
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Natalia:
You color the boy because the girl has long hair.
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Cool Tia Bee:
Why would that make a difference?
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Natalia:
Okay you color the boy because I want to color the girl.
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Cool Tia Bee:
Fine.
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[I start coloring the boys hair]
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Natalia:
Why are you coloring his hair yellow?
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Cool Tia Bee:
Uh... because I want to.
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Natalia:
You should use your imagination and try other colors.
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[In the meantime the little girls hair is now blue.]

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Natalia:
Why are you putting lipstick on the little boy?
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Cool Tia Bee:
I'm not. His lips are red it's cold outside.
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Natalia:
No, it looks like he has lipstick on. Maybe you should check with me before you color anything else.
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Cool Tia Bee:
You told me to use my imagination.
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Natalia:
Yes but you don't want to make the little boy look like a little girl do you?
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Cool Tia Bee:
Well the little girl shouldn't be wearing lipstick either. She's too young.
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Natalia:
Have you heard of cherry flavored chapstick?
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Cool Tia Bee: [Not wanting to argue anymore since I've never won an argument with her.]
Okay, what color do you want me to color his pants?
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Natalia:
Orange.
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Cool Tia Bee:
Orange? Who wears orange pants?
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Natalia:
The little boy does.
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Cool Tia Bee:
But they'll make fun of him at school.
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Natalia:
He's not in school he's on vacation.
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Cool Tia Bee:
But the little girl will say, 'hey silly! why are you wearing orange pants in the snow?'
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Natlia:
She won't say anything like that, she's nice!
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[*side note she once told her mom "finger", her pretend friend, thought Tia Bee was rude... I really don't know where she came to that conclusion!]
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We continue to color in silence until it's time to pick the colors of the scarf.
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Cool Tia Bee:
What color do you want the scarf boss?
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Natalia:
Do you know how to alternate colors?
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Cool Tia Bee:
ALTERNATE? Where did you learn that word?
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Natalia: [sighs]
I don't know, maybe Pinky Dinky Doo.
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Cool Tia Bee:
Oh. Yes, I do. What colors do you want me to alternate?
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Natalia:
Blue and green but don't just use any blue and green let me give you the right ones. We want them to match.
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Cool Tia Bee:
You do realize he has orange pants on right? What matches orange pants?
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Natalia:
When we finish coloring you'll see how it matches.
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[Since I'm a great order taker, I do as I'm told]
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Cool Tia Bee:
What color do you want his jacket?
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Natalia:
Red.
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[I take a red crayon and start coloring]
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Natalia:
His jacket looks pink Tia Bee!
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Cool Tia Bee:
The crayon clearly says red... look.
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Natalia:
Did you know there are different types of red? Use this color red to fix it!
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Cool Tia Bee:
Fine.
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Natalia:
I'm just going to hand you the colors you should use, okay?
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Cool Tia Bee:
Yes ma'am!
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Natalia:
Are you mad at me?
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Cool Tia Bee:
No.
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Natalia:
Don't be mad at me, I'm just trying to help you.
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Cool Tia Bee:
I'm not mad. I just want to do a good job.
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Natalia:
You'll do fine.
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When they came to get us so we could go home she said,
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'Good! I'm exhausted!'
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You read that right! I exhausted a four year old!

...

When we finished I had to agree, the colors do look good! As a matter fact I'll be buying a pair of orange pants this weekend!

P.S.

I realize they are holding a pink snowball and a green snowball. If you don't like this color scheme send your complaints to my boss...