Sunday, September 16, 2007

Coffee with Mom




So...

Do you talk about urine and skunks when you're having coffee with your mom?

No?

Saturday morning:

Beautiful day, we are enjoying our coffee on the patio.

Mom:
What's going on with the grass over here? [pointing at dried grass and holes on the ground]

Bee:
Andy says it's skunks.

Mom:
Stupid skunks! Is there a way to keep them out of the yard?

Bee:
I heard something about spreading male urine around the perimeter of your house and it keeps them away. [I was disinterested since I was inhaling my morning coffee]

Mom:
Is Andy going to do it?

Bee:
Do what?

Mom:
Pee around the house?



Bee:
WHAT!!??

Mom:
Maybe he should just pee in a bottle and you can scatter it around the house...?

Bee:
Mom, I'd rather invite the freakin' skunks to live in the house!!

GROSS.

16 comments:

  1. I got as far as the "Male Urine" bit of your conversation, and the question in my mind was the same as your mum's! Great minds think alike!

    You could just get a fiercer dog...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was going to ask the same question as your mom, it seems simple enough. men like voiding their bladders in the great outdoors don't they? hubs was just in Amsterdam and they had to install these tubes along the streets for men to void their bladders into because they had such a horrible problem with guys peeing all over town. What a great place huh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. JK: Try going to Paris. The French have a long tradition of that kind of thing, except they don't see any need to install facilities. Mainly as far as I coud see they use the Metro stations...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've been doing research on this, apparently it is usually drunk men who do this. I didn't quite get what the hubs was saying about a tube but it turns out it's a portable urinal wwith a tube.
    I think I'll do a whole bloggin expose on urinals. fascinating, really.

    and am I imaginig this or do they stoop in the streeps to defecate in India? more research needed

    ReplyDelete
  5. brian: x2
    The patch of grass in question is 4 by 4 area. I'd rather cut my losses...

    Dog:
    Tazz is fierce...

    ReplyDelete
  6. jean knee:
    I'm glad you're doing research and something constructive, we need to keep your mind busy at all times, but men's urinals???

    How's your 2 year old? maybe that's what the problems is, it needs attention from mommy!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. you'll rue the day you said that when I win some type of award for blowing the top off urinals........

    the two year old is in jail right now

    ReplyDelete
  8. "BLOWING" THE TOP OFF URINALS???

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I knew you'd like that one. there's a pic to demonstrate that very thing... see, you are intrigued aren't ya?

    ReplyDelete
  10. They call this wonderful innovation in street furniture "pissoirs", and apparently we have some in town here for the drunks to use on Friday/Saturday nights...

    ReplyDelete
  11. These things are just for men???What about if a sister wants to use the facilities??

    THE OUTRAGE! :op

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe you could just put up stuffed 'Flower' skunks from Bambi impaled on a stake as some sort of skunky warning that this is fertile skunky hunting grounds and to BEWARE!!!

    I told my mom a funny story about Papi and I getting distracted during, ahem, 'our mating ritual', by the stupid Cha-CHa Slide song when I put music on to cover any noises we might make. My mom was so completely disgusted that I shared info. like that over dinner. I can't wait to have another great story for her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. EWBL:
    The Cha-Cha Slide distracted you??

    I would have thought it would have helped... rhythm wise.

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.