You know how some sick sadistic bastards sometimes say they have good news and bad news because they like f*cking with your emotions? Also, I saw Twilight.

So... good news. We got our flood insurance money. Yeah! I know! How awesome, right? Right??

The bad news is that they issued it under my name (that's okay because I am who I say I am), Andy's name (he is who I say he is so that's good too) AND OUR MORTGAGE COMPANIES. In little tiny print, it says "this is a multiple party check and cannot be cashed without having all parties sign it". Great! Now we have to go hunt down Mr. National City and Ms. First Bank.  I have no clue how to make a whole institution sign a check that belongs to us.

I feel like they delivered our money in shatter proof glass, set it in front of us knowing we couldn't get it and are currently laughing their asses off as they eat small children. Fuckers!

 

In other news:

I went to see Twilight on Saturday.

Because my husband is a great man and is whipped loves me, he got up early so we could go to the first showing and avoid all the tweens who were sure to be screeching and shrieking and sighing and talking. We were the first ones in the theater so Andy left his coat on the chair beside me and went to get our delicious nachos (yes, it was only about 9:30 and eating them so early goes against my junk food before noon rules but I am not being supervised at the moment, remember?). Here is what I didn't count on. THE MOMS! There were zero tweens but their moms were everywhere!

So there I am, sitting in the dark theater, waiting for my nachos (and Andy) when a group of them got in my row. Andy and I sat all the way in the back row smack dab in the middle. This way, buttholes do not have to walk in front of us when they have to use the bathroom because they either go to their left or the right. Movie watching is serious business! Anyway, they (the group of women) started side-sliding down my empty -except for me- row with no sign of stopping. When I noticed one of the MOMS' asses was going to sit on Andy's coat, I had to say something. Politely of course. "Uh, are you planning on sitting on my husband's coat??" Her "whoopsie" nearly drove me to commit battery. Where did she sit? RIGHT NEXT TO ANDY'S SEAT!

Then they started yammering away. Non stop! And giggling. And sighing. And shrieking. And talking. This was an unforeseen dilemma I have to say.

When Andy came back, I told him to sit on the other side of me (WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SIT NEXT TO HIM)(but I'm not possessive or anything). It was a good thing because that stupid lady kept squirming in her seat to talk to her friends. I told Andy (in a loud whisper much to his embarrassment) "dude! she totally would have nailed you with her elbow!"

The the theater filled up with groups of women my age. I couldn't help but think that a lot of them were probably bloggers too. I would have stood up and asked but I was eating nachos.

Now for my movie review. I really wanted to like it. The scenery was excellent but as is the case with books to movies, they sometimes disappoint. I wasn't a fan of the actors. Unfortunately, this book is more about Bella's thoughts so it's kind of hard to translate that into a movie.

I found her constant exhaling annoying. It was almost as if she was trying to convey frustration/exasperation/fear by releasing air. Um? Yeah? I'm not much of an actress but even I could have done better.

Watch, here is me frustrated:

<FRUSTRATED></FRUSTRATED>

Here is me terrified:

<TERRIFIED></TERRIFIED>

Here is me exasperated:

<EXASPERATED></EXASPERATED>

Say what you want about my acting but I did it better than she did. It seemed like she didn't believe herself and if she didn't believe herself, why should I? You know how serious I take my vampires!

Anyway, the guy who played Edward is hairy. That's all I have to say about him.

Also? What is with young guys these days and their refusal to brush their hair? Don't make me go over there with my heavy brush because I will whack you with it and then brush your hair!

I have to admit I will probably go see the next one. Don't judge me!

 

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