Thursday, November 6, 2008

If you cut my leg off, the rings inside will show you my real age. ... But don't cut it please.

Some people do not understand how fragile my self esteem is.
Sure, I know I'm always giving the "I'm a badass!" vibe but deep down, I hurt just like the rest of you.

Imagine how upset I was when I logged into my NaBloPoMo account only to find they were either living in the future or I am in fact a year older than I thought.

Yes, I am a female.

No.
I AM 35! I am not 36 yet!
I checked my birth certificate and it says November 11, 1972. (I'm getting old so I can't always trust my memory)

I did make sure I had the right year in my profile. Yup One Nine Seven Two. I don't know what cockamamie system they're using but they are ahead ONE whole year! Maybe they can tell me if I'll be in jail sometime next year.

Men, so that you can understand how we women feel when we're told we look older, it's like being kicked in the crotch. Ouchy.


Humor-Blogs

29 comments:

  1. The crotch kicking thing sets it all in perspective.

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  2. I bet that a 1's been missed out somewhere, and that they either think you were born on 1/11 or 11/1. If you find out which day it changes you get to have two birthdays a year. The only other person I know of who does this is the Queen.

    If you're worried about the number of years you're beginning to accumulate, maybe you should stop counting? My grandparents did precisely this - they don't have birthdays...

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  3. when your age says 49,call me. THEN we'll scream.

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  4. Bee Dear,
    What the hell is Nablopopopopoo? You keep talking about all of these things that I have no idea what they are.
    But whatever Nanunanu is, I am INFURIATED with it! Don't they know how much that hurts?
    On one of my many trips to the hospital, the check in lady put in the wrong info and my birthdate that she gave me made me, like 42 years old! I was outraged!
    I asked her to fix it, she said it didn't matter. I then told everyone I saw that looked at my paperwork that the old hag had put down the wrong birthday and that I was really 29 (at the time, I still was 29).
    So, it's like the old hag kicked me in the crotch!

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  5. Maybe they're taking into account your fertility?

    If that's the case, then you should be HAPPY, right?

    After all, one year older in fertility means one year closer to stopping the visit from Aunt Flo, right?

    If this is not helping, just slap me on my blog later, I'll appreciate it, and kind of chuckle!

    Too bad they couldn't screw up the OTHER way, and make you 34 instead..

    Then instead of being pissed, you'd probably feel pretty good about being a year younger than you really are...

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  6. I for one think it's a disgrace. Your blog doesn't look a day over 30.

    We'll hunt these swine down and make them eat their computers, every last chip.

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  7. that is sooo not cool, Bee


    so not cool

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  8. I'm screaming on the inside for you! I'm at the point now where I don't want to see my real age or risk having a falsely inflate age appear in print EVER.

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  9. Just remember, the system the "boys" were using to come up with that number was.....cockamamie.

    What did you expect?!?!?

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  10. But Bee, you have always been ahead of yourself, avant-garade, so to speak.

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  11. My co-worker went through major foot surgery about a month ago, and when she returned to work someone else who works in the company told her "you looked much last time I saw you." It's like gee...thanks!

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  12. I think the explanation is obvious...your computer has created a time machine.

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  13. I am almost 38 so I will always be older than you...hold on to that fact and use me as reference and finger pointing anytime you need an age boost!

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  14. ooooh- that's rough. really rough. i'm angry for you. i just kicked my computer in the crotch for ya.

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  15. never mind your age, we learned something much more important about you- youre 'married to dogs'.

    i think its wonderful you are so open minded, congratulations on not being a conformist in this day and age.

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  16. bah, you're just a pup. Thpppt. At least we know what we're in store for when you hit 40 ;)

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  17. Bastards!! I'm going to check out how old they think I am. I'm 39 and if they say i'm 40, someone's getting fired.

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  18. When you were 16 I'm sure you loved being told you looked older. Am I riiiight?

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  19. This happened to me with match dot com. And that is NOT the place you want to be represented older!

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  20. Now I have to go find out who 'Nooter' is because I thought the same thing...married...to 2 dogs no doubt! Chicagoland must be pretty progressive!

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  21. Awww Bee, I'm sorry those bastards have no feelings. You don't look a day over 29, girlfriend! I'll totally back ya up -- let's go kick their asses just because they are -- stupid!!

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  22. You'll be 36 in a few days, what's the big deal.
    There are people in this world with real problems...like me for example.
    I had to go commando all day.
    My Mexican "burrito" needs support.

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  23. Well, you've got a few days still. Welcome to 36. It's much better than 35. (I accidentally typed "It's much better than 25" just now. I had to hurry and delete that because I hate to disappoint you, but ain't no way 36 is better than 25.)

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  24. AHAC:
    I'm sorry if I made you flinch or relive any unpleasantness. :o(

    Brian:
    BRIAN!!! YOU WANT ME TO DIE?? I thought we were friends!

    Vodka Mom:
    All I can think of is Vodka and Pomegranate juice makes everything better.

    Tracy:
    She was a witch to you, Tracy! She'll be on my shit list too!

    Jorm:
    You are the first guy EVER who has asked me about aunt Flo. I'll let you think about that one. ;op

    Chris:
    Thank you Chris! I feel better because you didn't suggest I die (Brian!).

    jean knee:
    No it is-n't!

    Chat:
    Those bastards!

    QG:
    I know, I'm gullible!

    Jannie:
    Too true! I keep forgetting!

    jacki:
    Why would somebody say that???? People are need an idiot guard.

    Sully:
    I need to go back to when I was skinny!

    Georgie:
    No way! I respect my elders! :o)

    Magpie:
    BWAHAHAHA! Thanks!

    Nooter:
    There is a coma in there somewhere, isn't there? It would not be unlike me to miss something.

    P.S.
    My dog bit me yesterday.

    Heinous:
    Damn! Can I just get past the 36 freak out before I think about 40?

    Kirsten:
    You gotta keep an eye on those sneaky bastards!

    Jayson:
    Of course! But I was young and stoopit then!

    VE:
    Lucky for you, you have a youthful appearance. :op


    Beth:
    Well, I'm perfect in other ways. :o)

    Angie:
    Yeah! Let's go!

    DAN!!!!:
    BWAHAHAHAHA! I did not need to know that, brother!

    Jen:
    Say it ain't so! :o(

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  25. Dammit John! Don't throw math into the equation!

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  26. Blame daylight savings time. And blame the economy while you're at it. Someone has to be accountable for your premature aging!

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  27. Ok, so I get sidetracked and not visit your blog for about two days* and you have 3million posts! What the heck.



    *Maybe more, who knows.

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.