Sunday, November 9, 2008

I tried to make my dog go to rehab and he said...

... well, he didn't say anything because he's a dog but he did look at me funny.

Do they even have doggy rehabs centers??

I discovered that Tazz is a huffer. Whenever I'm cleaning the bathroom, he likes to follow me in and snort/lick the air. This forces me to close the door so he won't get sick but now I'm inhaling the toxic fumes and making myself see brightly colored mosquitoes strumming their guitars. I'd be okay with that if they weren't singing country songs. COUNTRY SONGS for craps sake!! I don't need that in my crazy world!

Anyway, I've learned to live with Tazz's idiosyncrasies like him trying to rearrange the floor before he lays (lies?) down. How he feels only he can defend you from the forces of evil and tries to make you stay home by tearing a piece of your calf.

But when he shoves me out of the way so he could snort at the bug spray I spray on my patio? That is just too much!

Tazz mid attack.

There was a lady I worked with who would sometimes want to eat chalk. She said it was because her system lacked petroleum or magnesium or sulfur not sure which but she claimed that was why she would sometimes chomp down on sidewalk chalk. Hey, I don't judge (much) but what could Tazz possibly be lacking that he wants to eat toxic chemicals??

Why can't I have normal pets?



  1. I hear this economic down turn has caused a lot of dogs to start eating glue and sniffing markers. Or was that cats?

  2. Since the fly didn't take it,
    I'm callin' FIRST!!!

  3. Bee,
    You and I are so much alike. Do you attrack the crazy people when you're out shopping and such? I know you do, because we're so alike.
    And that is exactly why we cannot have normal pets either. Oh no, even if they look perfectly normal when we get them, they're always the ones who are a little "touched" as my grandmother used to call them.

  4. On a sidenote that has nothing to do with dogs:
    When I was pregnant with my first, I read everything there was to know about pregnancy (I kind of wish I hadn't) and I read something that said "If you should ever get the urge to eat drywall call your doctor because you might have some sort of defiency.
    Cause if I ever look at a wall and think "Wow, that wall looks delish!" I'm checking myself into the psych ward!
    And I don't think that eating chalk is normal either.

  5. I have four cats, and they do crazy stuff, but they don't huff cleaners... Your pooch is screwed up, Bee!

    And, yes, it's "lies down."

  6. My dog eats charred wood and then pukes (Polka Dot)

  7. Normal pets are crap. Insects playing country music on the other hand are just a nuisance.

    Goddamnit you can't live with the blood suckers playing Nashville classics in your bathroom. Draw the line!

  8. no... no... no!

    Thanks, now I'll have that crack whore's song stuck in my head... ALL DAY.

  9. poor Tazz. I'm just glad that Maxx's addiction is to Aveda natural hair products. except I'm not cool with him licking hairspray off the bathroom floor. ugh.

  10. HAHAHHAHA boy do i understand you and your doggie. we have a wacko, too. i seriously need to start videotaping her...

  11. They say dogs resemble their owners - I'm thinking of in terms of behaviour rather than physically...

    Are you sure that you wouldn't want to rearrange the floor before lying on it?

  12. Okay, I handled your little huffin' pooch better than hearing you know some lady that eats chalk?! Wtf?!! :D

    Seriously, I wouldn't worry about him and the household fumes too much. He's just trying to get his little "tweak" on. Now, if he starts trying to get into your stash -- off to rehab with the little bugger!

  13. Mine's always into my wine and beer.

    cute little gaffer you got there.

  14. My cat used to do that when I used Ben Gay. It was sort of freaky.

  15. sounds like an Intervention is in order, let me know if i can help.

  16. I have 3 beans that could give Tazz a run for his money...

    my lil weenee dog tries to bury her treats in the corners she rubs her nose raw on the carpet-then she gaurds the treats as if her life depended on it

  17. Sounds like your coworker has Pica.

    I think your dog just likes getting high. :)

  18. Sure, sure, I believe you. There 'was a lady' I used to work with that ate chalk. ;)

  19. My dog likes to eat his own fecal matter. I'm sure he would enjoy 2 dogs one turd.

  20. I have been a dog person all my life and that is a mighty long time, I have never had a normal dog, do they exist?

  21. All pets are normal. It's we pet owners who need help.

  22. Fly:
    Yeah, the cats are the glue sniffers and the dogs are the cleaning products pesticide huffers.

    DRYWALL?? Wow!
    Yeah, my dogs are a little touched in the head.

    I agree. Want a dog? he's free and loves cats.

    jean knee:
    You have a lot of land, want a cleaner huffer??

    I would Chris but the damn dog keeps eating the bug spray! ;o)

    You're welcome!

    He does that with my hairspray too! Weird.

    You should! Pet videos are hilarious!

    Well, to be fair, he used to belong to my sister so maybe he's as insane as she is.

    I would never lie on the floor. Nope. Bugs!

    She would buy Tums so that she chew on those instead of the chalk but it's still weird.

    Ha ha! Well, that's more normal, right?

    Exactly! It's freaky!

    I'll hook you up with treats but I have to warn you, he can be a savage little dog when he's cornered. I have scars to prove it.

    Oh how cute! You should tape her too. :o)

    Pica! Yeah! That's what she said. I couldn't remember the clinical name.
    He does like getting high and the hubs gets mad at me. Like I'm an enabler.

    Ha ha! Ummm yeah. You Caught me. :op

    Ewww! I heard that was ice cream.

    Now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever had a *normal* dog...

    I don't know... I think I'm pretty normal! ;o)

  23. Just hope that Tazz doesn't grow a beehive. That's when things really get bad.


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