Friday, November 7, 2008

I have a serious blog but I need to post this here so people can learn from my mistakes.

This is in no way meant to be a funny post. I am sad and upset so I need to rant and purge so that I may move on with my life. I hate dwelling on shit I cannot change and this has been consuming so much of my life recently that it needs to be taught who is boss and kicked out of my head.

Please don't think I'm asking for pity since I don't like anyone feeling sorry for us. Life is, it happens and you just have to deal with it.

I just want to enlighten people so they won't get royally screwed like we did. Okay, we didn't get ROYALLY screwed because it could have been worse but we did get dumped on.

As you guys know, we suffered the consequence of IKE all the way up in the Midwest.
Our town was one of the ones flooded and even the news people said "do not come here if you don't need to". The footage on TV was a guy standing knee deep in water at the corner near our house.

We woke up to that mess and even though we were feeling the impotency of the whole situation, what kept us sane was knowing we had insurance. And we thought a good insurance provider. American Family Insurance is not some rinky two bit operation.

When we bought the home owners insurance and found out we needed a mandatory flood policy, we were also asked if we wanted to purchase additional benefits in case of a flood. That way we could replace our damaged items. Being the newbie home owners, we said hells ya'! If something happens we want to be covered to our teeth.

Here is where the newbie part comes in. Are you ready? The policy says that if the flood insurance covers you, they YOUR HOME OWNERS are then void.


So… our homeowners denied us ANY HELP but our flood insurance might give us money for repairs and their estimates are, of course, lower than expected. They are only allowing for the repairs and rebuilding because any items we may have lost (clothes, shoes, comforters, furniture, electronics, kitchen cabinets, tub) are not covered under the flood insurance. Why? BECAUSE WE HAVE A HOME OWNERS POLICY.

You see how that works? I have to be honest and say I didn't see that coming. Maybe I'm more naïve than I thought. Here I thought I was wise to the world of fucktards but nope. They keep surprising me by shiving me when I'm not looking.

Okay. So we called here and there trying to get them to reconsider. The flood insurance guy (who was very nice and I'm sure just doing his job) suggested I apply for FEMA relief since my county had been declared a disaster area.

Yay! Some hope?

Well, you know what happens when you stand outside and wish upon a star? Some bird decides your face makes a good landing pad for his shit.

We received a denial from FEMA on Thursday because we do not have enough damage to our home and they state our flood and homeowners should be enough.

This is not enough damage. This is just mild, a fresh coat of paint will do ya', damage:


Sorry about the quality but I took them with Scarlett.
Everything down there is trashed. We threw out bags and bags of her things.

We had 3 different people come and inspect the place. They all took pictures.

I know our damage was nowhere near as bad as others. I know we're blessed to have a roof over our head and some money (maybe because we still have not seen any of it) for rebuilding. It could have been worse. I know.That is the only thing keeping me sane NOW. We had some
cold days here where we were freezing because one of the things we could not replace was our furnace. I'm lucky to be married to such a great electrician who has many other hobbies. Like carpentary, dry-walling and now furnace repair. We now have heat which is lucky since it's 30 degrees right now.

This situation has been stressing Andy, my mom and I. We have been jumpy and snarky with each other the past few weeks which is unfair to take it out on one another but who else is there? Oh yeah, the fuckers at the insurance companies.

We will be switching insurance carriers so if anybody has had a good experience with theirs, please let me know.

Moral of this story:

Check your insurance policy to find out exactly what you're covered for. If you notice anything unusual or something you can't understand, call your agent and don't be afraid to ask about what's troubling you.
We learned our lesson the hard way and I feel bad for our next agent because he will have to deal with a burnt-out witch but I have to look out for me and mine so other people's feelings are just going to have to suck it.

Oh and they can also fuck off.

***side story**

I can't help myself so please be a witness to one of Andy's and mine argument.

BEE!! I can't log-in to Outlook Express to access my hotmail.

Bee [from the other room]:
So? Go online and get it from there!


he comes to hover over me like I have the answer to all his problems

What?? I don't know your password!


Bee [tired of his attitude and tone]:
That is not my problem. I can access my account so I really don't give a shit.

You are such a jerk! [stomps off]

Bee [calmly eating a pomegranate]
Yep. I'm an asshole and a bitch too.

I continue to hear him grumbling. So I decided to see if I can crack his code. These were the questions that stumped him

City you live in
Pet's name.

Yeah, a couple of humdingers!

I was able to reset his password so I calmly went over to his room and gave him the great news. I walked him thru opening a new tab and typing hotmail on the address bar. He then typed in his e-mail address and waited for me to give him the new password:


THAT did not go over well.

He then threatened to change my password to "IAMANASSHOLE" but I'm not worried.

Nina Simone - Feeling Good.


  1. Used car salesman, lawyers, pimps and insurance people: All one in the same.

    Keep at it Bee. An attorney (who is just as cut throat as the insurance company) might be of value if you want to go that route. Letters to the 'higher ups' as well as your newspaper can do wonders too.

  2. As soon as you mentioned the flood I knew it was going to be about getting screwed by the insurance company. Here's some advice.

    After you get yourself straightened out and fill your home with new personal belongings, go and hire a CERTIFIED Appraiser (someone who has a piece of paper that says they are a member of the Certified Appraisers Guild of America-CAGA). Hire this appraiser to do a REPLACEMENT/INSURANCE appraisal of your chattel property. Make sure that the appraiser includes pictures of your stuff in the appraisal. Then keep this appraisal, which is a legal document, in a place where it cannot get damaged. Best suggestion is a safety deposit box in a bank. Doing this offers you another level of protection should your stuff ever get lost, stolen, or damaged. After that, it's important to make sure you have the right coverage.

    If you would like me to answer some questions, just go to my blog and e-mail me.

  3. wow! I'm glad you shared this, hopefully it can prevent others from getting screwed. It majorly sucketh.

  4. :( to the insurance shit.

    :) to the Andy bit.

    What? I haven't had coffee yet. This took me 20 minutes to type already!

  5. 1. Try to find other homeowners in your area who are having the same problem with the same insurance carrier, and same agent if possible. Band together with them.

    2. Contact your local TV news and see if they have a troubleshooter or investigative reporter on staff, then tell them your frustrating story

    3. Watch how fast you are granted an 'exception' by the insurance company. The one thing these companies (especially the agents) hate more than paying out is negative publicity on the five and ten o'clock news.

    Good luck.

  6. I also group insurance peeps with car salesmen and lawyers-snakes all of em...

    I was LMAO@ the questions Andy couldnt answer and your new password for him!

  7. Oh Bee,
    I know you don't want pity and I completely understand being in that position (one of not wanting pity that is).
    These people always have their loop holes and tiny writing that nobody bothers to tell you about until you need it and then they're all "Sorry, you signed it."
    You know, my father used to always talk about "The Man" but I didn't get it until we bought our house. You gotta keep an eye on "The Man" cause he's out to screw you.
    If it makes you feel any better, I don't pity you so much as I'm way pissed off for you. You and your family shouldn't have to deal with this! You bought the insurance, you thought you were covered, you shouldn't have this bullshit to deal with on top of your house being flooded!
    See, now I understand why the amish people make their little communities and they don't depend on anyone else but themselves. I think it's fucked up how they can build an entire barn for a neighbor in one day and your insurance can't take the two minutes to write a check and slip it in the mail!

  8. I'm not quite sure how I went from bitching about "The Man" to the Amish but it all streamed out like it was meant to be there.

  9. I would like to make a proposal (that I know nobody will take me up on but I mean it from the bottom of my heart anyways):


    Here are the reasons why you should:
    1. I am an awesome neighbor in the fact that I generally don't like people so I won't bother you much.
    2. We are not in a flood zone so flood insurance wouldn't be neccessary.
    3. I will promise not to peak in your windows....maybe..
    4. It's a happy place with happy little trees and happy little squirrels.
    5. I will let you use my green house to grow anything you want.
    6. You will have lots of room for kick ass gardening.

    Doesn't that sound wonderful?

  10. For my ELEVENTH comment I would like to say that I am not trying to make light of your situation. I know it's stressful and shitty and I am truly sorry.

  11. And for my 12th comment since I don't like odd numbers, let me further explain that my comments were made with the best of intetions and also with my grandmother in mind.
    She always said "If you don't laugh about it, you'll cry."
    I hope I atleast made you smile, Bee!

  12. Oh and I have one more thing to add..I forgot to address the password thing with Andy..Shit but I don't want to be 13th..hang on.

  13. yep you got the shaft.

    Allstate : they are expensive but when you have damage they just pay end of story. We've used ours about 4 times, they just paid.

  14. My hubs once made a password for something my name. Then every time he would try to sign on, he would sit there and type in a bunch of wrong things and then yell "Hey, TRACY! What's the password for blahblahblah?"
    I was like "Are you serious?"

    I think it's funny how our husbands seem so intelligent on some things, I mean Andy fixed your furnace for crying out loud, but he can't figure out his city and pets name?
    That is exactly why they need us!
    And I wouldn't worry about him changing your password. I don't think he could figure out how to do it! :)

  15. A guy at my job got 5,000 from Fema, he had no damage not an inch of water.
    I'm sure I just made you feel worse!

  16. oh, I have the same password for everything, my credit cards, garage door opener, ebay account, you tube account, you porn account, e-mail account etc, etc

  17. Good advice.

    You should have tried the vulcan mind meld for his password. It's a highly entertaining show of effort at least.

  18. Dan: Don't let your wife post your password up on the internet...

  19. Awww Bee that totally sucks. Is there ever any end to the way the insurance companies are willing to fuck us over? I hope everything works out for you and your family Sweetie.

    p.s. LOL thanks for ending that with you and Andy's convo. It was too funny. Men are so strong, but sometimes just the smallest things trip'em up...hehehe

  20. hey, that does suck, but the person who suggested talking to an attorney is right. i'd see about meeting with someone who works with plaintiffs on property insurance disputes. it'd be worth a couple hours of your time. hope y'all are able to fix things to a decent degree.

  21. Wow, this is an eye-opener. Unbelievable how incredibly crappy you are being treated by American Family Insurance.

    This is just so wrong. So very wrong.

    I hope you write a letter to the president of the insurance co.

    It's just disturbing to hear of this kind of corruption. I guess I'm naive too.

  22. LOL!
    Great one!
    Sorry about your insurance! I've never had a positive interaction with insurance.

  23. I am so sorry to hear about your insurance problems. We had damage from Ike too ... roof problems, door bell that rings by itself, wood floor damage, etc., but our deductible was so high we had to pay for it all out of pocket. Stupid insurers.

    Like the new password for the hubby. I'm sure he really enjoyed typing that in. :)

  24. Sounds like you can sue somebody!!! Or at least re-try with FEMA.

    password part, lol.

  25. So sorry to hear about the damn insurance jerks. I agree with the comment suggesting you talk to your neighbors just to see if there are others in the same situation. Do contact the media or anyone who will listen and share your story with the masses. I think most local channels do have their "investigation" hotline for people to call and share their story. Try the insurance again and tell them that you are going public with your story, who knows, maybe they'll do something before you do that. I don't think they would like to have bad publicity.

  26. Dear Bee,
    I understand the pain you and your family are going through at this time. I don't think people should suffer needlessly. I have a comprehensive homeowner's plan for a low and honest price. I believe we can even create a rider to cover any damage done to your property by squirrels for only $19.95 more per month. I will need you to send me an initiation fee along with copies of your driver's license and social security card to ensure no mistakes are ever made on your policy.

  27. Thanks guys!

    I'm glad I posted this since you've given me great ideas!

    Dan, I'm gonna go kick your co-worker in the nuts!

  28. Bee, I am so very sorry. How terrible. Seems nothing with anyone is clear on things. I hope everything works out for you.

    Peace I leave with you and yours.


  29. I feel for you Bee..

    Back a few years ago, we had an issue here with a mountainside falling down, and tearing apart a few hundred homes.

    FEMA came in, and declared the place unstable, and unlivable.

    They then offered to buy the homes in order to let the families relocate.

    One kicker:

    They bought them back at a fraction of their worth.

    The homes that were on this hillside were in the 300-400 grand range.

    Most families were lucky to get even 100 for their homes..

    I know of one family who had a nice 550,000 home bought out by FEMA for the bargain price of..



    I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

    Maybe some of us enterprising folks will start up some kind of collection plate for ya, and send you everything we DON'T want at our house..

    That way, you'll have some stuff, and no place to put it all, and we'll be rid of some clutter that we really didn't want or need anyway!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.