Friday, November 14, 2008

Dog bites man. Man cries because he's stupid. Dog laughs and swallows man's finger.

So yeah, I heard that the white house pooch bit a reporter. It was the first thing I saw when I turned on the TV and my laptop (well, the first thing I saw on my laptop was the picture I have of a half nahked Brad Pitt but you don't need to know that).

I say that fucktard of a reporter deserved it and his reporter license thingy should be revoked!


Is it a good idea to pet a dog who has never met you??


Just think about it. Would you go up to a person you've never met and give them a hug? [please say no- please say no- because if you say yes, we might not be able to be friends anymore]

I then went looking for the video and found the one below that shows exactly what the dog was thinking! Stupid reporter dude, if a dog with a Scottish accent tells you to leave him alone- LISTEN!


My mom's plane left at 8:40 pm and I'm already wasting away to nothingness. (If nothingness means hoarding bacon like there's no tomorrow)


The Wizard of Oz, the movie The Wizard of Oz, is lame. I said once that I wanted to find the producers of the new Willy Wonka movie and feed them to my beta fish for a slow death but I think I'll just hold off and see if they re-do The Wizard of Oz. Everybody involved in the old one is probably dead already.

Diesel? Are you calling me out dude? What is wrong with my Karate Chicken?? It kicks ass! The poor thing was mangled for my amusement! May it rest in peace.



  1. ouch. ouch. ouch.
    Idiocy is a painful disease i hear.

  2. Yes, but what are your feelings on the lesser-known "The Wiz"? Also, my son is obsessed with "Dorfy" and The Wizard of Oz. I laugh at this one part in the Munchin routine where it looks like one of them is clearly off their "mark" and he has to sneak back into place. It's so odd.

    Also, can you imagine Hollywood at the time this movie was being made? I mean all those little people running around together at the same time getting all rowdy at bars. You know there were so many little people hook ups because of this film. Did you ever think of that before? I bet you like it more now.

  3. I can see where the dog's coming from. I love it when celebrities attack reporters and photographers - it must get seriously frustrating having people shove microphones in your face everywhere you go...

  4. We need more Barneys in the world!

  5. Finally, someone gets what they have coming to them ;)

  6. Looks like the Obamas bought a racist dog. The Scottie apparently hates white assholes.

  7. Wonder what kind of dog the Obama's will have. Do you think Bush's Scotti will be quarantined for attacking someone? Maybe the attack was provoked.

    As for OZ, you think Wiz is bad try Return to OZ, now that one is creepy!!

  8. Have you done that Wizard of Oz thing with Pink Floyds Dark Side of the Moon?
    It's really coool.

  9. That is one freaking cute little Scottie.

    Yes, somedays I do careen through the streets of Austin with arms outstretched hugging all who enter my path.

    What, that's weird?




  10. Dan has a good point. Any remake of The Wizard Of Oz is going to need over 100 points of eerie similarity with Dark Side of the Moon.

    & the new White House dog bit a reporter? Excellent!

  11. i like getting hugs from humans that are my friends. maybe the reporter was a spy or a democrat.

  12. You know, The Wizard of Oz was once my favorite movie and I always wanted those shoes.
    But then I read Wicked and saw the musical and now I get it. And I hate that movie.
    The witch had a purpse you know? And Dorothy squashed it all.

  13. And just so you know, I am NOT a big hugger.
    I don't hug strangers EVER.

  14. Seriously.
    Once, one of my kids kept hugging all over me and it was driving me crazy and finally I said
    "Enough! Knock All of this hugging off! If you love me, go clean the kitchen!"

    That's how much I am NOT a hugger.

  15. 1. Wizard of Oz is one of my fav movies.

    2. Wicked was written in the last 8years by a television writer here in LA, Paul Dooley's (the actor) wife. They needed a plot line, has NOTHING to do with Frank Baum's story.

    3. I HATE hugging.

    4. BacoMayonnaise. it's BRAND NEW!

  16. he should try that with a pitbull.

  17. Well then, tomorrow's post about kissies will freak you out then. I warned you.

    If you had to live with Dubya, wouldn't you be ready to snap too?

  18. Oh! I fucking cringe when people walk to close to my dog, Brutus, when I have him chained in the back of the truck and I'm parked somewhere shopping.

    Especially if they can't tell that all his hair standing up and teeth showing means, "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!".

    If he bites them, well it's their own fault. :)

  19. I am really surprised that the snaky reporter didn't sue W.

    it's prolly coming, I hope I'm on the jury

  20. Hahaha

    I love the Scottish accent. What a dumb ass. I guess people will never learn. :D

    Oh, and I'll come with ya to kick those fuckers in the ass who did the Willy Wonka remake. Sheesh, when will these douche-bags in Hollywood quit dickin' with our Classics?!!

  21. I totally laughed when I saw that on the news! I was like "Go, Barney!" He's just mad because he has to leave the White House soon.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.