Sunday, November 16, 2008

Why I can't be left unsupervised.

So... Andy had to work on Saturday. He got up early, put Mocha the chunk on the bed, reminded me to go to the bank, kissed me good-bye and left.

I woke up at 9:00 a.m. STARVING, realized I would have to cook something so I went back to sleep instead. I woke up an hour later and said to self "Get your ass out of bed, go to the bank and then stop at Mickey Dee's for some breakfast and coffee" but I just couldn't make myself get out of bed so I watched some TV until the dogs started whining that they had to go outside or eat who knows really, they're always so damn needy.

I finally got around to going to the bank (it was 40 degrees but I walked out in flip flops, shorts and a t-shirt).

I hate going to the bank. The old ladies always give me a hard time about something and Saturday was no different. They were upset because I had signed my check with my *maiden* name and not the name of my husband. Seriously, that's what they said.

"This your maiden name! You need husband's name!"

I tried telling the little old Asian lady and the little old Polish lady that my name is hyphenated and I go by both but you know what? Sometimes it's just easier to pretend I belong to a man and sign it with my owner's name.

Since McDonald's is right across the street from the bank, I maneuvered my car through their drive thru (me and drive thrus do not get along! I can never get my car to contort itself in order to go through that fuckin maze! To add insult to injury, I always park too far from the windows!) but since it was too late for breakfast, because my lazy ass couldn't get out of bed before 11, I decide to just get a LARGE coffee. Here's where things get tricky.


Large coffee please.


What kind of coffee?


What? Large, regular I guess?


Would you like to try our new Mochas?


Uh, okay. Large please.


Fat or Non-Fat?


I don't believe in non-fat so... fat?


Anything else?

Bee: [When I'm in the passenger seat, I have the power to say "nothing else, thanks" but...]

A number 6, please.

I blame the fact that I was hungry on me ordering FOOD from McDonald's because I have a few rules I live by. No soda, fries, potato chips or candy before noon. AND! No McDonald's unless it's breakfast. Too many food poisoning incidents in the past.

When I pulled up to pay, I had the biggest shock of the day! My bill was $8.87- EIGHT DOLLARS AND EIGHTY-SEVEN CENTS! FOR FOOD. FOR ONE PERSON. AT MCDONALD'S!

If you're getting the impression that I'm cheap, I am when it comes to food. Especially crappy food because I only ate the fries and (drank) the coffee.

 CELL 11.16.08 001

Oh well, only about 70 more days before my mom comes home.

Things I learned this weekend:

It's not shiving it's shanking.

Andy would rather watch Jack Frost [CREEPY!] than either of the two Godfathers because he doesn't like me quoting the movies for 3 days. "No! Then you go around saying 'mahnday tursday, it's business not personal, you broke my heart Fredo!, don't ask me about my business', not to mention using piano wire to try to kill me!"

Cher's character is 37 in Moonstruck but she looks AT LEAST 10 years older than I do.

I learned I can go almost the whole weekend without turning on my laptop and not have any type of seizures.


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  1. At least your car WORKED for you when you tried to leave the house... mine just grinned evilly with it's chromey Saturn grille and said, "Sorry, sucka!"

    All dressed up and nowhere to go - ANYMORE. *sigh*

    Of course, it worked FINE when the hubby got home and tried to start it. Sexist piece of machinery CRAP. Heh.

  2. Getting out of bed early on a Saturday is highly overrated.

  3. Getting out of bed early any day is highly overrated!

    I can't believe McDonald's is so expensive! And aren't they the fancypants with their mochas. Was it a good mocha though? I might get out of bed early for a good mocha. If someone around here would bring me one.

    Or I might just sit up in bed for one. Yeah, I could do that.

  4. McDonald’s is where “the shits” was invented.
    If Cher is 37 in that movie, my cat will make me dinner tonight. I don’t know too many women who are fans of The Godfather do you like Scarface too?

  5. McDonalds is going all starbucks on us. I want a frickin large coffee, just do it!!

    best to stick to home brewed hot chocolate

  6. there is no saying NO to the things that are unhealthy.

  7. Wise not to eat the food. It may come to McD's before your mum gets back, let's just hope not, eh?

  8. I happen to be one of those people who enjoy ordering coffee through the drive through. I like mine with lots of cream and sugar and it always pisses the drive through worker off. I swear they don't want to give up that sugar! It's like the more they give up, the more comes off their paychecks!
    Now I want some fries. Thanks Bee. McDonalds doesn't happen to be right down the road for everyone!

  9. I am a girl and I love the godfathers. Leave the gun bring the canolli. Tell your husband it could be worse he can find a horse head in his car!

  10. Oh how I miss the days of lazin' around in bed all morning. :(

    If I can't have a sausage egg Mcmuffin with cheese -- I don't want anything from them!

    And I still can't get over how much it cost you. Sheesh, it's been awhile since I've been, but it seems their prices must have went up. Or coffee sure is expensive! ;)

  11. The sausage egg mcmuffin or a Big Mac - better than sex

  12. McD's can not do cappuccino! Especially mocha. Sorry, if they want to charge the high prices for cappuccino then they need all the bells and whistles like Starbucks has. You know the long lines, chocolate sprinkles, that loud foamy maker thing and a tip jar.

  13. I am with ya on the mcdonalds for anything but breakfast, my stomach revolts anything other than the McGriddle loves that

  14. You got lots of stuff done all unsupervised. I wish I could sleep in. Oh well, I'll just do it through you.

  15. I'm laughing because I just recently learned the difference between shiving and shanking. I can thank my life coach for that one. I never park close enough to the window at drive thrus either. Last week I ended up throwing some change at the poor guy working the window. Two dimes dropped on the ground. I told him "you get the idea" and he called it good. Also, I'm racking my brain...what is a #6? It doesn't look familiar to me. And finally, yes, I am a very fast talker. Very fast.

  16. You're paying for that fancy McCafe logo thingie. It's so hard to just get normal coffee without the frou frou. Next thing you know Ronald will be wearing designer yellow bloomers.

  17. Larissa:
    I used to have my share rusted out shit boxes that liked to die on me while making left turns on bust intersections. IT SUCKS!

    I agree!

    It was good but I was burping it all day. Just like their food! ;o)

    I agree it always has that effect on me. And no, I don't like Scarface. I am actually an Anti-Pacino girl.

    jean knee:
    Where were you on Saturday when I needed you??

    Yeah McD's is just plain wrong!

    I hope not Chris. ::shakes head::

    Sorry Tracy. Would you like me to bring you one?

    Awww poor horsey! I love those movies but I don't own them :o(

    I almost shit a brick, Angie! And that was BEFORE eating the food.

    I'm not into sausage-well that type- so I'm all for the bacon.

    Ha ha! There would be so many things I'd crash into then if they were by the drive thru.

    I'll have to try the McGriddle one day.

    Ahhhh sleeping until 10 is so relaxing. ;o)

    I KNEW IT!! :o)

  18. It's a big peeve of mine when the newspaper prints anniversary announcements. They all say "Mr. and Mrs. David Speckenzedoitch. Mr. and Mrs. Arnold Farfegnugen." Isn't it bad enough that we have to sacrifice our maiden names? Must they take our first names away too?

  19. its not shiving? WOW I have been wrong all these years.

  20. I'll wacth GF I and II with you Bee. We can quote until we sleep with the fishes.
    And eat the cannoli.

  21. When you check your blog counter and see there was a weirdoe reading your blog for like 5 hours...that was me, sorry, I had to go somewhere in the middle of reading and I forgot.


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