Monday, November 24, 2008

My Unthankful Thanksgiving. by Chica from Lady Sarcasm

Remember, I'm HERE today but I leave you in the capable hands of :

Every year millions of people sit around a table filled with tasty food, and a rotting cooked carcass of meat, and they tend to give thanks for the things they've received in life, and they count their many blessings. I feel it's all a crock, a show of sportsmanship if you may, of thanksgiving. Just because it's "Thanks"giving doesn't mean one has to give thanks, hell I do enough of that at Christmas, so this year I thought I'd save my energy on it, and use up my negative energy on the things I'm unthankful for.

The first thing that comes to mind is food that's not good for me, and that tastes great. I'm unthankful to the makers of those foods for making my ass big, and giving me the occasional zit on my face. Not only are the foods addicting, they are hell on my body, damn them all!

Another thing that I'm extremely unthankful for is well, family members. For some reason my family like to breed like rabbits, and it is awful hard to remember their birthdays, their addresses for cards, let alone their fricken names. Now if only I hadn't come from a long line of baby machines, the holidays may be a lot less stressful for me. Birth control is not in our vocabulary apparently.

Last but not least, I am unthankful in a way towards the internet. Before I started blogging I was outside, active, and bored to tears, but I was alive and un-pixeled. Since my days of blogging, I've had to put up with numerous stresses between my internets not working, to my computer getting viruses. I've also wanted to assault random images online because they have scarred my brains to pieces. Two girls and one.. really wasn't the shining moment of my view on the web.

So there ya have it, I could really rant and rave and throw my hands up at what I'm unthankful for, but then I would have to put up with your thanks on boring you to death. This year when your gathered around at thanksgiving, think about what your unthanful for and voice it. It's a guaranteed spot on Santa's naughty list, and ya'll know that, that is the "cool" place to be.

18 comments:

  1. I applaud your fantastic cynicism!

    Good stuff.

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  2. Chris, you are first only because I had to check MY post out. Chica, I like this idea. I have plenty to be un-thankful for too.

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  3. I like the idea!
    I think I'll try it this year while we're all gathered around my mom's table and she's watching me to make sure that I behave myself (I have always been the blacksheep if you will in our family)
    And I agree, the naughty list is a much better place!

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  4. Your list is eerily like my own. The internet has both delighted and terrified me!

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  5. Thanks everyone, and Thanks to you especially Bee. :)

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  6. OOO I so much like this idea, I think I will surprise my family with it this year. I can already image their shiny little faces reacting to me sayin' what the hell I'm UNthankful for.

    Have a Happy "Unthankful" Turkey Day Chica!!!

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  7. Hey Chica baby, Happy Thanksgiving and shit!

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  8. Hope you survive T-Day. I now clearly know what I'm thankful for. The virtues of being the product of an android assembly line become clearer with each passing year. No family, no need to eat, and so on.

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  9. Hello, Lady Sarcasm. Nice to meetcha! Um, you are hilarious don't you know it.

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  10. Eleventh!

    I didn't realise that you had to do all this thanking - the way other Americans describe it, I just thought it was an excuse to sample even more of the evil food.

    Oh, and I won't thank you for this post, not out loud, anyway.

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  11. Here's something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day: There's only one thanks-giving day, but 364 non-thanks-giving days every year.

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  12. I'm all for doing things that'll get me on the "Naughty" list! :P

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  13. Bee,
    Now there's a holiday I can live with! Cheers- I mean, ggrrrrrr.
    Eve

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  14. I was going to thank you but since the theme is unthank you...well, that's what you get. Good stuff though and I don't even have to put up with Bee's damn death threats either! ha ha I'm going to go out now and secure my rotting carcass piece! Yummmmmm.

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  15. I Way to sleepy to read this long post, mañana!

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