Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The whole time we were there, I was singing ♪♫"At the carwash"♪♫.


A million years ago, when I was still a slave to the family, my sister and I used to wake up every Sunday morning at 5:30 and take 7 people worth of laundry to THE DREADED LAUNDROMAT! We'd get there before its 6 AM opening and be the first people thru the door. The owner guy knew us since we'd spend 4 hours sweating from the heat of the dryers and gagging at the overpowering smell of fabric sheets. He'd have coffee ready for us and sometimes bring donuts.
Sis and I had many bonding moments over the tide/bleach/downey and the crazy women who would battle us for the dryers. Guess who always won? ;o)
When we finally moved out of the apartment and bought a house, we also bought a washer/dryer. No more laundromat for us! Each person was in charge of their own clothes so thus ended our servitude or slavitude if you will. Then I got married and lived happily ever aft-...
Alas, my idyllic happy ending was not meant to last forever!!!
Our freakin' piece of crap washer decided to be a butthole and break! ::sigh::

We have 2 options:
-Replace it which would mean replacing the dryer so that they can match.
-Have it fixed.
While we ponder, we decided to also hold a social/economical experiment.
We will see how much money we save on our water bill and electricity WHILST (<-as Brian would say) getting material for the blogus by interacting with other humans.
Sadly, the place was empty.

Nobody to make fun of but ourselves. I had no choice really.
Andy, trust the pro. If I say all your clothes fits in that buck 75 machine, then it fits!
Okay. EXPERT. Then you fit my clothes in there.
[I did so awesomely! I wonder if I can put that on my resume...]
Is that all the soap you're gonna put in there?? I want my clothes clean! Not smelling like wet crappy laundromat!!
It's concentrated detergent! You don't need more than half a cap full!

[I see this will be our major battle. I'll just have to sneak more soap in the machine when he's not looking.]
Do you think I'm faking it?? Do you think I would lie to you and say my clothes are still wet just so that I could steal a quarter? Give me the freakin' quarter!
[Seriously?? I think I know when clothes are dry!]
I don't care if you don't want to go see Narnia! You're coming with me because you signed a contract to honor, love and support all my crappy movie choices! ... I'll buy you nachos.
[That doesn't have anything to do with laundry but it did take place at The Mat.]
We have given ourselves a month to decide what to do on the replacing/fixing the washer. Luckily, because of my Mantra 'Where do you want the shit to hit you?' things like this do not perturb my coolness.
Here's a coinky dink. Tracy's washer broke too AND she had to go to the laundromat! Weird.
For those of you doubting Thomases and Thomasinas, here is a picture of my dark dark house at Eight AM.

Would you be able to pick out a dark brown shoe from a black one?

Hey Hey! Before you go, please click on Humor-Blogs!


  1. I'm back baby 1st!!

    And I almost did not want to read this having with (my sister of course) to cart clothing for 5 every friday night to the "mat".

    It gave me chills to remember...

  2. (Rolls eyes and groans audibly)
    "Replace it which would mean replacing the dryer so that they can match"
    That not matching shit can be some baaaad news! That means the thing sitting beside the washer will now only dry your clothes!! and we sure as hell can't have that! Christ, everybody would want one dry black, and one dry brown, shoe!

  3. honestly? It will probably be cheaper to replace...and you know, they make good economy washers for like...$300-400 these days....

    and if it doesn't match? Rustoleum spray paint them both your favorite color...then they will match!

  4. LOL Brad says "whilst" too. What is up with that?

  5. ARGGHHH...you're a nachos-at-the-movie person!!! I can no longer visit your site.

    (OK - I will, but only because I can't HEAR you eating the nachos.)

  6. I have one of those energy and water saving washers (Father Al told me to get it in a dream).

    don't get one, they are too slow

  7. You can also buy a hand-cranked washer. You can get, oh, at least four or five pairs of socks in one go, and keep fit WHILST you save energy...

  8. I think that laundromats are quickly becoming a thing of the past. The city I work in has but one and the next one is 10 miles away and it's nothing but suburban hell sprawl here.

  9. Marisol:
    We hated doing it. HATED IT! People would complain that we were taking up all the heavy duty machines and we’d basically tell them to wake up earlier and beat us to
    ‘em. They never did.

    I’m all about the matching. I want to be able to go downstairs and sit in front of the washer/dryer admiring the glossy red finish. Yes, they’d have to be red. Then I'd pop open a Corona and hypnotize myself by watching the clothes tumble this way and that.
    So it's not just drying my clothes. It's also providing much needed entertainment for a bored little untrained housewife.

    I was joking about replacing it for esthetic purposes. The dryer has also needed maintenance throughout the 3 years we’ve lived there since it was inherited when we bought the house. It just seemed logical to replace it and donate it before it completely broke down on us and we’d be drying our clothes the old fashioned way. On tree branches.

    I don’t know. We spent $6. If we go there every week, it should be about $24 a month. Not bad. We only have 3 loads to do.

    This is what we do when we go to the movies.
    Wake up at 9-ish on a Sunday. Scan the interworlwideweb for the first showing of XYZ movie. Get there 30 minutes before the movie starts. Buy nachos and soda. Walk into EMPTY movie theater. Sit all the way in the back to avoid people with children sitting behind us kicking our seats and/or having to go potty. Prepare nachos. Eat most of them before movie starts. Eat soggy ones that don’t crunch while watching movie that has about 20 people in the theater that seats 300.
    I understand your phobia about hearing people chomping and rustling. I have the same phobia when it comes to… well, kids being at the movies when I am. ;op

    Whilst I think it might be the proper way to say it, it still tickles my funny bone.

    jean knee:
    If we replace them, they’ll be those big front loading ones. The ones we have now, load at the top and I can never reach that errant sock!

    “hand-cranked washer” Mee ha ha ha ha!! That struck me as funny.
    Um… when I’d visit my gramps in Mexico, I used to wash my clothes on a grooved cement slab by hand and rinse them and wring them out myself. I’m used to hard labor. ;op

    When the damned thing went kaput, Andy and I were trying to remember if we’d seen any in our area and couldn’t come up with a single one. Luckily, we had gone to a fast food place for dinner and saw one tucked in the corner of the strip mall. It was only about 5 minutes away from us. For a minute there, I thought we’d have to wash our clothes in Chicago… ::shiver!::

  10. See, I clicked on humor blogs for you and then I forgot to come back and comment. This is all a lot to remember when first waking up!

    You and I must truly share a brain because Chris and I just had this exact conversation about the washer and dryer not matching. Know what he told me?
    Yeah, I'll just pick one up on my way home from work.
    I didn't even get an opinion. sigh

  11. I hate going to the laundromat, but I have to suck it up once in awhile, thanks to my king size comforter. Get this...there aren't any chairs! You just have to stand there and watch your clothes get washed and dried. Ugh. I need to find one of those places that have a bar too.

  12. why would anyone care if they don't match. You should get a stone wash board like the one my Grandma Polita uses.

  13. Grrr! My husband was sick yesterday and I totally missed this!! The nerve!

    What I don't miss? Laundromats. Back in our happy, newlywed life, back when I didn't miss out on things because he was sick, the hubs and I would drag our clothes to the local laundromat. It was always scary. Always. I'd have prayed for an empty one!

    Now, if my husband gets me sick, I'm gonna make him do the laundry here!

  14. Tracy:
    I dream of red ones.

    I have to make a special trip BY MYSELF to wash out comforter. I am not looking forward to it!

    I can have 'em match if I want too. If you find one for me, bring it over. I'll do laundry on it!

    This was Andy's first trip and he was all confused and scaurd but I said to him 'there there you poor little bunny!' It always works!

  15. Thinking about my butt-sweated undies rolling around with other people's butt-sweated undies makes me a little nauseous.

    R.I.P Bee's Washer. :(


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