Saturday, May 3, 2008

I don't feel guilty. Like Col. Jessep said, "I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull!"


I'm about to remove the lid off of some pent up anger and it might get ugly for a few minutes. Everything works out fine at the end but you might be tempted to come give me a hug- CONTROL THAT URGE!
As I'm typing this, I'm listening to my Brazilian/Paris lounge CD (Thanks Jai!!!) and a cool breeze is bringing in the smell of lilac and magnolia so I'm fine now.

Ready? I'm removing the lid. I suggest you take a couple steps back.

I haven't been posting about The Bats lately because they've all been having serious family issues. I do have some sense of decency buried somewhere deep deep inside of me so I've tried not to harass them too much lately.
They each have something on their mind far more serious than a shorty co-worker calling them stupid every time they take a breath (although they are stupid).

Anyway, on Fridays, the office closes at 3:00 and people get to leave shortly after that. Except for me OF COURSE! I'm lucky enough to have my meeting with OZ and get to stay and talk about all the lawyers I've mocked and made cry during the week. Although it's fun, I'd rather get the hell out of my torture chamber as soon as humanly possible. On those rare Fridays we don't meet, I also join the rest of the dummies in the sprint towards the time clock at 2:59.

When OZ's patient load is light, I'll ask to meet with him during office hours that way I can have my meeting over and done with so I may leave early. I've done this for the TWO AND A HALF YEARS I'VE BEEN AT THE ASYLUM.

My hours have always varied since I might have to stay later to translate or OZ might need me to give him an update on an account he absolutely needs to know about RIGHT BEFORE I LEAVE FOR THE DAY. This was all explained to me prior to me starting at Arkham Asylum. In other words I can come in when I want and, if not needed, leave earlier. Again, I've done this for TWO AND HALF YEARS.

Sorry I'm dragging to get to my point but I need to give some history leading up to my day yesterday.

A couple of months ago, I met with OZ early and was done with our meeting by 2:30. I asked Glynda if I could leave and she waved good-bye.

When Milton found out she asked "Do we all get to go home now or just you?"

Uh, just me.

Well, that's not fair!

Then ask if you can leave too. I'm done with my meeting so that means I can leave early.

By early I thought you'd leave at 3 not 2.

Me: [losing it]
What's the difference it's HALF AN HOUR?? It's not like I'm going to get paid for that HALF HOUR!

Milton sat there, her face blotchy red, fuming. I punched out and went home. I couldn't understand why she was so upset since the few times he's told us to leave early, she usually stays until she finishes whatever project she started. If he would have told everybody to leave she still would've stayed late!

Do you know what this snot rag did??? She pulled out the employee manual and cried on Glynda's shoulder! I didn't find out until last week when they fucked me over by taking my vacation time on a couple of days I left early!

I asked Glynda and Milton, they claimed company policy. I let them know that I was the exception because of the reasons I stated above. They didn't budge from their little united front.
I was sooo pissed off I didn't know how I should handle the situation. The family was telling me I should demand my vacation time back and although I agreed, I wasn't sure I wanted to go to that extreme. My day on Friday was so unbelievable shitacular that it made the decision for me.

I asked Milton how many vacation hours I had left since I was going to bring it to OZ's attention. She panicked and brought Glynda, both tried to dissuade me out of talking about it with him at meeting. I let them know that I was going thru with it and no matter what happened, I was prepared to be disappointed. I think they each shit their pants right then and there.

Once I was in my meeting with OZ and Glynda:

I'd like to talk about my Work Schedule. When I first started I was also told my hours were flexible since I might have to stay later on some days but had the option to come in later the next day. I've been doing this for over 2 years and just recently my vacation time has been deducted.

What? [looks at Glynda] Why was this done?

Company policy blah blah

What was Teri's [lucky bitch who escaped and I replaced] schedule? She was flexible wasn't she? We never took her vacation time when she left early! Why are you doing that now???

Policy blah blah

[to me] How many hours did they take?

About 8 that I know of.


But she was already paid-


I'll have to tell Milton-

Is she here? Bring her in here!

[Milton had been about to leave and had her running shoes on ready to leap tall buildings]

[to Milton]

How many hours does Bianca have left? 16? I need you to bring give her an additional 30.

[gasps were heard all around, I won't lie to you, I was one of the gaspers]

But... we... I... wacka wacka

This will be our way of making amends and correcting this mistake! Do what you have to do right now! Do I need to sign something? Bring it and I'll sign it right now! DO NOT DOCK HER PAY FOR WHAT SHE'S BEEN PAID ALREADY!
I need you both to think twice before making decisions like this without consulting me first!

So that clinched it for me right there. I will be the most hated person in the office. I kinda like it!

When I was telling my family peeps, I kept wondering out loud why they would fuck with me like that? You'd figure they know me better by now! Just yesterday they transferred a psychopathic patient to me so I could put her in her place. They gathered around to listen to my whiskey/honey voice show her who was the Alpha Bitch!

Why would they think I'm going to let a couple of light weights try to step on me? I go for the jugular any time I feel I'm being attacked! Just ask the multitude of attorneys who swing their dicks my way only to jump back screaming like the little girls they are!

I need to know why they would go out of their fuckin way to irritate me when all I do is work my ass off for that place! I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I have to hold their hands and make decisions they no longer have the brain power to do on their own!

I once told a worker (at a place I managed) that I wasn't there to be liked (yes one of the ones I made cry) and I had no qualms in sending her home if she didn't straighten up her act.
My job is a JOB. I hate it when it leaks into my home life and that's what this fuckin' place has been doing!

They had the balls to ask me if I was going to invite them to my sister's baby-shower. I told them no, but if they wanted to bring a gift to work and leave it by my desk I'd probably take it. Why the hell would I want them in my personal life??

I know it's not fair that I now have a total of 46 hours plus the ones he already paid me but... you know what I have to say about that? They can fuck off and kiss my ass!

That ladies and gents, was Fuck Off Friday on a Saturday!!


  1. Mwahaha! Sweet revenge!

    It's all about the little green eyed monster. When I first got into hotel management I dealt with that a lot. I was very young (20)and didn't understand all the animosity at first because I worked harder than anyone else there and went out of my way to solve problems that weren't even my responsibility. Then we got a new GM, who I bonded with on sight, who told me that the previous GM had warned her that I was very intimidating and posed a threat as I'd been slated for and was being groomed for the GM job in the future. I had no idea!

  2. since I have no balls, I guess I have balls when I want them it just takes a lot to make me use them since usually I don't give a crap blah blah

    I wish I could borrow you to take care of some asswipe neighbors who need to be put in their place I just can't get mad enough.

  3. My solution...I just don't come in to work...ever!

  4. Two women ganging up on a third. Say no more than that. I don't know why women are so mean to each other. Low self-esteem I guess.

    Anyway, great story and next time I'm in a similar situation, I'll remember not to back down and BEEmilitant.

  5. Awesome! I'm glad it worked out so well and smackdowns were involved. Woo hoo!

  6. You know why they did that? Seperately, they are both terrified of you but together, they think they have atleast one ball. Now they know that will never be.
    I'm not surprised that you stood up for yourself but I'm glad you did and I think you deserve those extra hours.
    I so love FOFOAS!

  7. I love you more now than ever. :)

    Yeah, maybe it's cultural or maybe you think more like a man but allowing your work life to invade your personal life is a recipe for a sheet cocktail with little crap-speared plastic swords in it in place of maraschino cherries..

  8. I am in awe of you, Bee. I talk a big talk. It's all in my head, and the other voices are like "Seriously. Shut up. We're tired, and we're especially tired of you talking your big talk."

    But you? You walk it. I wish you'd walk over to my place and put some people in their place. I'll make snacks if you do.

    Think about it, k?

  9. Jesus! Thanks for the warning, at least.:) One should know better than piss off a Bee in the first place!:P

    Until I read your whole post, I was gonna say you solution was simply shoot the OZ. But then he gave you your windfall...... I think he might have been saying to somebody, "You F'd one of my best employees, don't do it again and I don't want to hear your shit!" Even if it ain't true, believe it anyway. It'll help your ego.

    "a cool breeze is bringing in the smell of lilac and magnolia"
    Magnolias. They don't grow in Yankee Country. Y'all be one of us?:) I'm a transplanted Yankee, into Magnolia country (SC) and I have plum fell in love with the buggers!!

    Now I know why Scarlet O'Hare was so goofy.:)

  10. They should know better. Those idiots! Maybe they where looking to get their Ass handed to them on a plate :)

  11. Marie:
    It seems they always feel threatened by younger women. I am the youngest where I'm at now and it seems to be one of my *faults* in their eyes.

    jean knee:
    Give me their names and I'll pay them a visit. ;op

    Thank you.

    Will you hire me?? ;o)

    Thank you.

    We should all stick together but some women just thrive on making others suffer. Or try anyway! ;o)

    It worked out well alright! I'm planning on using some of that time soon!

    They never confront me alone. Always in packs. :o)

    I try not to think about it at home but lately its just been too much. If not for the fact that I work 5 minutes away therefore saving tons of money on gas, I probably would have started looking elsewhere.
    Now I want maraschino cherries...

    I'm usually pretty easy going and the funny things is, they go out of their way ti please me with certain things. They bring my favorite snacks and always want to hear about my life but they have this very annoying side to them...
    My favorite snack is chocolate cake with whipped cream.

    For some odd reason, OZ likes my bad attitude. I guess you can say I amuse him but hopefully in a good way. :o)

    We live in Chicagoland and I have a Magnolia tree right outside my window. I'll post a picture of it tomorrow.

    What?? It was Star Wars day and I missed it???

    It got handed to them awright! :op We are 2 of a kind right?


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.